Original post by Anon_98Right, so I'm going to apologise for how long this will be in advance but I need advice so I think it's vital I go into detail. I'm also just going to put my pride aside + include my grades in this post bc I don't care enough anymore to be embarassed by them but I'd really appreciate it if the responses are somewhat considerate.
Okay so, obviously yesterday was A level results day + I'm not an A* student by any means, but I honestly, honestly expected to do a whole lot better than I did.
My AS subjects were Bio, Chem, Maths + Physics.
My A2 subjects were Bio Chem + Maths.
I literally still cannot believe the marks that I got from some units, I genuinely think there's been a mistake or something bc I came out of a few exams 100% knowing I had at least got an A from mark schemes, common sense etc + yet on my sheet it states otherwise but perhaps I'm simply not as good at exams as I thought. Well, exceedingly terrible.
Last year I completed my AS levels + came out with CDEU.
At the time, I thought I tried for them but tbh, I think I just thought they'd be like GCSEs + looking back, I most probably deserved those grades from the level of work I put in. They still came as an absolute shock to me though bc throughout the first year, I was getting A grades in all class tests. Every single one. I don't think I received below an A grade in any mocks etc. (Bar physics, ofc. )
So this year, I dropped physics + retook all my AS exams from last year as well as my A2 exams and slightly improved the AS grades of CDE to BCE in Chemistry, Maths + Biology, respectively. To say I am dissapointed would be a severe understatement but.. whatever.
My A2 grades however, were DEU.
In every single Biology exam from AS + A2, I got a U.
I got a fricking U in my resits.
Who the hell gets a U grade in a resit.
But it's done.
I also got an E or U in every A2 exam.
I don't enjoy Biology, truanted almost every lesson, found it really difficult + yeah, idk maybe that explains it.
I don't enjoy maths, didn't attempt a few of my final maths exams despite studying for them bc I was really fed up so maybe that explains that grade.
I don't know anymore.
I'm really confused with Chemistry tho. It's the only A level out of the 3, that I'm semi-okay at + I don't know wtf happened. I literally don't know. I was so dreadfully upset, rightfully angry + confused + wtf nah.
So instead of going into sixth form like I should have, I cried for hours, started developing a self-loathing attitude then went to bed for some much needed sleep + celebrated my *****y results afterwards.
Despite my beyond horrific results, I surprisingly had a pretty great day.
But I've calmed down now + over it all so I have decided to evaluate:
I don't know whether A levels are not for me.
I don't know whether the sciences + maths aren't for me.
I don't know whether it's bc it's just been a difficult year.
I don't know whether I took up way too many exams + did more than I could manage.
I don't know.
I would like to study Chemistry at University so apprenticeships + the like aren't for me.
I know that not everyone needs to go to uni but I personally would v much like to go bc I feel like it's a life experience that I wouldn't want to miss out on + I certainly still do believe that I'm capable of achieving something that I'd be proud of whether that be during higher education or after several attempts at A level.
I can't speak to any one professional from school bc I didn't go in yesterday so I'm resorting to asking advice from TSR.
Yes, I regret not going in but I can't do anything about it now.
I realise TSR isn't the best place either bc anyone who fails is deemed as relatively unworthy.
The funny thing was people were trying to comfort me by giving tons of examples of all these business men who got straight U's + are now earning £34897584839, but I don't want to be a business person, I only want to study some compounds that I can't pronounce the names of so it's not exactly accurate or reassuring.
Anyway, I did try really hard during the year, I looked back on stuff + it seems that I started revising in February.
But I don't know whether I burnt out when it got to June.
Or let myself go in the exam hall.
I feel so helpless hence why I'm here.
Tbh, after yesterday.. I am genuinely past caring + I don't actually care anymore about it.
About anything.
Nor do I wish to discuss this matter bc I'd more than happily go with the flow + live each day as it comes then laugh at the outcome.
But I know that in reality, I have to sort this out in order to continue breathing, I just don't know how.
So my first plan is that I retake all my A2 exams this year.
The problem with that tho is that I don't know if I like science anymore, I don't know if I'd be able to cope with doing the same work all over again. I'd be applying as a private candidate so I don't know if I'd have the motivation. What if I get bored + give up? Regardless of those doubts, it feels like the easier option since I have all the material.
My second "idea" is that I take up a whole new set of A levels. - English Lit, Photography + Art + Design.
The problem with that is I don't know what I'd end up doing at University, I'd have to move sixth form + do another 2 years at school + I don't know if my body is up for that. The good part is that I'd probably feel motivated to complete them bc it'd be something new + something I'm interested in.
The third option is that I go abroad + run away from my problems.
No, really.
Go to Africa for a week this August, then if I like it enough defer + stay there for a few months, volunteer + most likely get stressed out again once I return to England. This is infact what my parent would like me to do on the basis that I need "time off" + it'd benefit me. I don't know how that'd help in an academic light but there we go.
If anyone has any advice on what to do then please do share, I'm pretty desperate.
+ well, for anyone else who is sort of in the same position.. remember that you can't have a pretty rainbow without lots of rain. :'3