Ugly and Gay?

Right sorry sorry I think i got the wrong end of it. If you told me you are gay then I would've understood better.

were we not pro-LGBTQ in the EU anyway?

All of these things will effect people differently, yeah maybe you might have been able to do those things which I applaud you for but it can be crippling at times for people. Depression is a ass, can happen over anything and yeah you're right that being fat/skinny is an idealisim but if it was so hard to get rid of it then maybe so many people wouldn't become so impacted by it?

Having a strong and determined mind like you is an ideal and evreyone should have it but not all do. And yeah it's not fixable but its not as easily fixable for some.

We was pro-LBGT in EU, but EU didn't do anything to force us.

Make a progressive plan on window words, notepad and do weekly, anything you miss make sure is your pirority for the new week. This goes for everything.

ex. confidence

why do you have low confidence? list them all and find ways to fix. Nothing fixes in 1 second, it takes months or even years, need help on starting private message, I've been through it all I transformed myself in 2 years and only starting to get together.

What do you mean by the plan and missing things? like deadlines and stuff or something else?

I have always had it since I was a kid. Bullied in primary school and a bit in high school by this one little ass till year nine id say about. Then puberty happened I grew a disgusting a amount of really thick and black body hair and its like everywhere now. Gained weight from stress eating and then a loads of stretch marks came up and since then ive never worn shorts because I'm so embarrassed of my body hair. Then depression and anxiety came along which made me do a few things and then someone told me my dick was so small that they were laughing at it.

Ill probably list them all soon and find ways and yeah its going to take years with me.

Well, for the hair (I can imagine is a nightmare, removing hair isn't disliked anymore, even I might in future) try this
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Nads-Men-Hair-Removal-Cream/dp/B003JFJF5E it removes it without any cutting, you just put on for like 5 minutes I think and wipe hair off (read instructions as I'm not 100% sure but I'm thinking of getting it too)

Oh I had the strip and say d is small, they all laughed.... it means yours is big... they get jealous have you even seen the average in inches? 5.5inches... go and check if yours is bigger (majority of gays have ABOVE average).

To loss weight, check what you eat add the ingredients up from back of package do not go over 100%, try to get a stragety, I mainy target saturated fat I barely focus on anything else (protein has to be a pirority) keep saturated fat at 100% (20g like females) that way you'll get a natural jawline.

For breakfast, ceral (for me anyway) is like 1-5% of everything except protein which is like 10%... frosties etc; Lunch try for 20% saturated fat and then anything you want for dinner (got to keep you somewhat full till morning, as anything pass 7pm = more fat)
If you have vegetables 4-5 times a week it fights inflamed skin and ance cuts down dramatically and gives your face a natural glow.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Neutrogena-Visibly-Clear-2-in1-150ml/dp/B000T9197U/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=drugstore&ie=UTF8&qid=1471980138&sr=1-1&keywords=visibly+clear+2-in-1 -> use this in morning leave on for 5 minutes (what I use anyway, it fast-track removes the red spots and blackheads... also don't touch or more come and keep hair off skin as it causes it... if you have ance on forehead thats why)

Do workouts such as for me I do..

v-ups 3 sets of 30
press ups 4 sets of 25
push ups 4 sets of 25
+ some gay ones I'll PM if you want to know them :P (not dirty)
> Run daily on spot/around the house on bottom floor or around a circle in bathroom count to 120 seconds.

If you want a good jawline, chewing gum once a day for 20 minutes strengthen your chin muscles.

Face up with fears by doing it, just don't give a fuc* and do it. As you progress and understand it more, your self esteem/confidence will boom.


Hope this helps somewhat.

Play sport. Get healthy, make yourself happy first. I know you'll say you can't be happy without a relationship blah blah but you'll never be completely happy in said relationship.

You will find someone. If complete utter pricks like those people on Jeremy Kyle can find someone (I'm ashamed to use them as a comparison but ya know) then somebody seemingly nice like you can too.

Concentrate on yourself for now. Somebody will come along. I know it's a cliché but this person will probably enter your life when you least expect it, or you know them now who knows. Just don't get too down.

I probably could be happy without a relationship for a while incidentally lol. and those 'utter pricks' (lol XD) find someone mainly because they are actually attractive ha.

Yeah, I probably will do for a bit now, ill have a bit of me time. And I dunno, I kinda guess that I don't believe in cliches anymore I have more kinda gone with if life hasn't been so kind to you now then don't expect it to get suddenly good. But then, that might be the pessimistic thinking that I have adopted to somewhat cope with my life situation at the moment. semi belive that I doubt ill get anyone anyway. You can probably tell how down I am now.

If you think the average person on Jeremy Kyle is what you consider attractive then, umm...

I have been in your position before. Growing up, going through school seeing what I considered my much more attractive friends have relationships, thinking I'd never have that. Add in being confused about my sexuality and being black and brought up in a white world, I was not a happy bunny in terms of my self-esteem.

Then I found sport and it gave me a new focus. Whenever I was miserable I'd think of how long it was until I got to play again and it made me happy because I had something to aim for. I was also good at said sport so that raised my self-esteem. I mean, I am a competitive person. I want to compete at the highest level possible and regardless of what people say, champions are always arrogant when it comes to their skills. They need to be.

When your self-esteem about your inner self rises, so will that of your outer self. I'm ngl, puberty and sport did wonders for me. I went from an ugly duckling to a pretty decent looking swan, partially because of nature but also partially because I realised that I shouldn't compete with perceived beauty standards. I was never going to have long straight hair, and be stick thin etc. I learnt to focus on the positives. I have a body now that most of my friends would die for, and my hair is pretty great I went from being pessimistic to being realistic and optimistic. I am happy with myself and the way I look because I am accepting what I have and anything that I want to work on is for my happiness and nobody else's.

I'm in love with somebody. It's complicated but long story short they like me back too. This person isn't somebody I met when I started university two years ago, this is somebody I grew up with and was friends with but never realised that there could be more. It's so early with us but I can definitely say that I could definitely see myself spending the rest of my life with her. Well I'd like to at least.

I know you feel down about yourself. I know how it feels. But nothing will change until you change. We can all tell you stories and tell you you'll find someone who loves you for you but the truth is you do need to find yourself too. That person may or may not help you find yourself, but one way or another you need to find yourself. Be realistic, but do not be pessimitic. I know that's hard to understand as they tend to go hand in hand but there is a difference and once you see that difference everything will get better.

Feel free to PM btw if it would help

I think you already have a stereoype of the 'perfect gay guy' and any attempt to emulate such a stereotype will ultimately lead to failure and subsequent depression because there is simply no such thing as a 'perfect gay guy'. You don't have to be overtly attractive, hairless and have a huge dick to ensure somebody finds you hot. These IG feeds are probably full of good looking guys in happy relationships but IG doesn't account for the entire gay population. There is much diversity, and you should embrace that instead of trying to fit into a niche that is 'cub' and the physical qualities that are supposedly linked to it. If you still don't feel comfortable with your looks, try a thin layer of make up and a different hairstyle, it could make a huge difference. And trust me there are plenty of people out there that do not care solely about looks and if you meet someone who is then they are vain and shallow and should be avoided at all costs. Goodluckkk

So I'm gonna start this thread for the some of us who aren't exactly attractive or turn heads in the street.

I've always wondered if I could even have a shot with a guy, if they would like any part of me physically or about my personality? Yeah there's the argument of "just love yourself", but when you see nothing that either you or someone else can love and added on top with really really low self-esteem it would be like asking me to solve differential equations.

I'm not gonna lie, standards for gay men in the community can be really hard to achieve or live up to at times. While some men want a guy who looks like a model or has the phallus the size of a porn star or any other body aspect for that matter it can really be so, dishartening at times. Especially when I'm in the gym for example: all the other guys who are really attractive or are naturally hairless or have dead good and flawless skin, it just makes me think what is even the point where all the men around me, who are all straight, have a almost 100% chance at catching the eye of a guy than I do. Literally, it can become so infuriating at times to the point of tears and depression. (Once, being the sad me sobbed for a good ten minutes after my IG feed was all attractive gays finding happiness and getting married and stuff)

I kinda fit into the gay subculture of a 'cub' but I see other men who label themselves as 'cubs' and they're so much hotter and attractive than I am. Like, they practically have men drooling and throwing themselves to them.

This is how I feel as a gay guy anyway. What is the situation like for gay women out there for ya'll? Is it any worse\better than gay men?

So I'm gonna start this thread for the some of us who aren't exactly attractive or turn heads in the street.

I've always wondered if I could even have a shot with a guy, if they would like any part of me physically or about my personality? Yeah there's the argument of "just love yourself", but when you see nothing that either you or someone else can love and added on top with really really low self-esteem it would be like asking me to solve differential equations.

I'm not gonna lie, standards for gay men in the community can be really hard to achieve or live up to at times. While some men want a guy who looks like a model or has the phallus the size of a porn star or any other body aspect for that matter it can really be so, dishartening at times. Especially when I'm in the gym for example: all the other guys who are really attractive or are naturally hairless or have dead good and flawless skin, it just makes me think what is even the point where all the men around me, who are all straight, have a almost 100% chance at catching the eye of a guy than I do. Literally, it can become so infuriating at times to the point of tears and depression. (Once, being the sad me sobbed for a good ten minutes after my IG feed was all attractive gays finding happiness and getting married and stuff)

I kinda fit into the gay subculture of a 'cub' but I see other men who label themselves as 'cubs' and they're so much hotter and attractive than I am. Like, they practically have men drooling and throwing themselves to them.

This is how I feel as a gay guy anyway. What is the situation like for gay women out there for ya'll? Is it any worse\better than gay men?

'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' . Whatever you look like, it doesn't matter. Maybe it matters to some people but who the **** are they? There's always someone out there for anyone. Beauty will wash away once we grow old, why the hell do we let society or other people around us define us with words that mean nothing more than words? Nobody's perfect. I'll tell you that.
I won't lie to you. People do judge, I mean.. who doesn't? But if people don't appreciate the **** out of you for being the way you are then they're not worth a second of your damn time. You know.. someone once said that everything around you that you call life, was made by people that were no smarter than you and if your beauty standards depend on what others think, you will never find happiness. Everyone around us was at some point influenced by the standard of beauty within our society but what we don't realise is that beauty has no standards. Whether you're short, tall, light or dark. Who gives a ****? The ' beauty' around us will someday wash off anyway and a new standard will be set so, please. Just appreciate your imperfections. You never know, they might be someone else's perfections.

Admittedly, I barely read this but honestly, you are certainly attractive to some people no matter how "ugly" you think you are. No matter what you look like, some people will think you're not so good looking but that doesn't matter, if they're that critical of you then they're not the sort of person you should be with. You deserve someone who loves you. I used to be SO concerned with my appearance too and I have been called ugly by people, but realised that worrying wouldn't change a thing and I could improve myself in other ways if not that way. If you don't like the way you look, then maybe get a better haircut or improve your wardrobe. Exercise so you look better and feel better. To feel better about yourself, you could also try volunteering or becoming better accomplished academically or at a hobby. I found that when I'm being really self-critical it helps to spend time with family and friends because they love and accept me unconditionally even when I think I'm not worth it.

I don't think that being single makes you any less of a person than someone in a relationship. Dunno why our culture is so sex/relationship-focused tbh which makes people feel bad about being single. You can get a sense of closeness from familial and platonic relationships. Besides, being single gives you much more time to find out about yourself, what kind of partner you're considering which is so important while you're young and developing. Singleness is a gift!

I think that you should wait until you respect yourself before you throw yourself into a relationship. Otherwise you may become overly dependent on that person for love and then if you broke up you'd be back where you started if not in a worse place. Or they might manipulate you or it could turn toxic if you don't value yourself.

If this does not help in the slightest then at least typing it made me feel like I was being helpful. But I really hope it does help you

So I'm gonna start this thread for the some of us who aren't exactly attractive or turn heads in the street.

I've always wondered if I could even have a shot with a guy, if they would like any part of me physically or about my personality? Yeah there's the argument of "just love yourself", but when you see nothing that either you or someone else can love and added on top with really really low self-esteem it would be like asking me to solve differential equations.

I'm not gonna lie, standards for gay men in the community can be really hard to achieve or live up to at times. While some men want a guy who looks like a model or has the phallus the size of a porn star or any other body aspect for that matter it can really be so, dishartening at times. Especially when I'm in the gym for example: all the other guys who are really attractive or are naturally hairless or have dead good and flawless skin, it just makes me think what is even the point where all the men around me, who are all straight, have a almost 100% chance at catching the eye of a guy than I do. Literally, it can become so infuriating at times to the point of tears and depression. (Once, being the sad me sobbed for a good ten minutes after my IG feed was all attractive gays finding happiness and getting married and stuff)

I kinda fit into the gay subculture of a 'cub' but I see other men who label themselves as 'cubs' and they're so much hotter and attractive than I am. Like, they practically have men drooling and throwing themselves to them.

This is how I feel as a gay guy anyway. What is the situation like for gay women out there for ya'll? Is it any worse\better than gay men?

I don't see the problem. What's wrong with you, exactly? Bad skin - go to dermatologist. Too hairy - wax, shave, laser. Or is it your face? I mean everyone's talking about how there are no ugly people out there but that's just bull - some people just have unattractive bone structure and stuff. But that can be fixed too, to a certain extent.

Bad skin- i have small dints on my forehead from my acne scars. My skin always has a rough and seemingly uneven texture to it. I wouldn't be referred to a dermatologist unless I have a severe acne or something else, it would be considered as a cosmetic issues which the NHS would not cover. And wax and laser would cost so much, even then it would take so long to complete the treatment that I would need loads of money to complete it.

I unfortunately have that too and it doesn't look like ill be able to afford plastic surgery any time soon.

You can always go private. I mean, £100, or whatever isn't exactly a fortune. But yeah, with scars you'd probably need some laser treatments so you may want to start saving up.

What do you mean laser and wax would cost too much? And that it would take too long? You can either get one of those ipl machines for less than £200, or you can just buy wax strips yourself for like a fiver, you don't need to visit a beautician for that.

Well even if you need plastic surgery, saying that you will be alone for the rest of your life is a bit overdramatic. If you get a job and save up, it will probably take like a year or two. You can always get it overseas, I heard it's cheaper.

To you it may not be, but to me it is. Both of my parents are immigrants with my dad a taxi driver and mum a dinner lady at at primary school we don't exactly have a lot to spare but I could always start saving now yeah.

I don't know if those machines would work on me, dark (jet black) hair on dark skin. And with an IPL machine I am pretty sure you have to get new light cartridges for it at some points and plus, I don't think it lasts forever either.

Overseas mess your face up. Have you not heard of the stuff that they do to people who go and get it done overseas?