What would your reaction be if your son came out as a transgender?

To all those who say they'd kick their child out of their home or would feel disappointed should not be allowed to have children in the first place. How can you feel negative about your own child, your own blood..

I would be very disappointed. I might also laugh a bit, it's hard for me to be serious sometimes.....
Then I'd probably make him come to his senses. (Omg that was not meant to sound dirty But you know what I mean )

To any trans (and nb) people reading this horrible horrible thread: most people in the real world are not like this. TSR is ****ing toxic, I mean come on people debate whether poor people should be allowed to breed fgs. Don't let these bigots make you afraid of coming out, or let their despicable words push you towards self harm or suicide. In the real world, the majority of the people who see it as an issue won't say horrible things like this, and if they do it is a hate crime and you can go to the police. Please do not feel unsafe. The world is a scary place, but don't let these hideous monsters change anything in your life.

Frame the question a different way, what if your son thought he is Jesus?


I probably wouldn't care tbh

I basically 100% agree with this above quote. Couldn't have said it any better.
BUT the bit in bold - that's called victim blaming. By saying what you said, you're basically indirectly pre-empting and condoning the bullying which is never okay regardless of who/what someone is.

I'd be supportive and take him out dress shopping

Her*

To comment on what others have said as well as you [this isn't aimed at you, btw!] about suicides (either after transition, during transition, by teens who can't transition etc) I'll give a perspective of someone who's going through it.

Now, for some back info: I'm a female-to-male transgender person, to be clinical about it. I knew from about 11 that something wasn't right. I tentatively came out as gay when I was 13. When I was 16 and had a breakdown, I finally told my psychologist. I've been living as a male for about two years now.


If I have felt suicidal in the past it has been for the following reasons:
1) My transition has been delayed for no fathomable reason (inb4 I get jumped on for STEALING TAXPAYERS MONEY!!11 I started on the NHS route then switched to private when I year and a half of going through the NHS pathway still meant I was no closer. I literally only just started hormones last weekend. I started this journey the end of 2013. I eventually went back to NHS because private were just as useless.)
2) I have been made to feel like I have no right to live on the planet because of the choices about my body I have made.
3) I've been so overcome with body dysmorphia and self hatred that the only way I felt I could silence it was by fashioning a noose. (My way of combating this now is to avoid looking in the mirror for too long: eventually, the person staring back at me isn't me, and I feel like I'm not in my own body any more. Yes, this is a mental disorder. It's not fun and it's not healthy. I can't stop it. I just learn to cope and see myself positively in other ways.)
4) Something entirely unrelated to being transgender i.e. my depression, anything relating to past abuse, feeling I am a burden on my family etc.

But I firmly believe that if I had chosen not to go with my gut and take this step, I would never make it to 21. I'm not quite 21 yet, but I see myself having a future as I am now. Three years ago, I couldn't. If nothing else, being able to transition has given me those years. My family are grateful for that, even if some days I might debate it.

Now, where people are claiming high rates of suicides for people after transition: proof, please. And reliable resources. Because the main reasons I could think of for that would be a) people who have been bullied and tormented and/or forced to come out by someone else (called "getting clocked" )) while trying to just get on and live their lives or b) people who didn't feel they needed those changes to be happy in the first place who now regret going down this path. Not everyone who is trans wants hormones, surgery etc

Because I will say one thing: there is a lot of pressure from doctors to go through certain procedures. I have spent years fighting my doctor saying I don't want to undergo certain surgeries. They've put me through strip examinations, berated me for self harm when I was a child because I've "ruined potential skin graft sites!", and constantly misquoted me in letters saying I want certain treatments when I don't. And I'm not the only person to have gone through this, nor to have had issues with transitioning. This is common across the UK. I suppose I should just be thankful my folks didn't send me to conversion therapy.

Those reasons, the pressure from society, from medical personnel, etc all mounts up. At the end of the day I, and other transgender persons, just want to live. I want my mum to be proud I'm her son, I want to be someone's husband, and I want to die knowing I lived life to the full. I am not hurting anyone as I am. And when people ask, "Scott, would ever go back to being her? Do you miss that?" I can answer without faltering that no, I would never go back, and no, I don't miss it. I am happier now than I've been in a long time, and that is saying something, considering the **** I've put up with these past few years.

So, to everyone who may have said they'd disown their child – for whatever reason, religious or not – if they came out to them as transgender (which is TERRIFYING - I had my bags packed by the door ready to leave when I told my mum, and that was after six months of going over what I wanted to say with a therapist), I have only one question for those people as parents:

Would you really rather bury your child than have them living a little differently?

Because you are nailing their coffins by acting that way. There are far too many stories of kids offing themselves after abusive parents treated them like **** for coming out, and I blame those parents wholeheartedly for their deaths. I hope they suffer with that guilt, knowing their hatred did that to their baby boy/girl. There is no excuse. You should love your kids, regardless of health, gender, colour, ability. If they come asking for your help and acceptance and you try to convert or hurt them—shame on you. Get over yourself and put yourselves in their shoes. It takes real guts (or balls, even ) to do that.


EDIT:: To add, so many older trans folk only say to me that their one regret is that they didn't come out earlier. But, back then they never had that opportunity. When I was 11, I didn't have that opportunity. Kids these days do. I'm not saying it's right to give HRT to a 7 year old, but at least we're moving in a direction where people can discuss this with perhaps a little less fear, and a little more knowledge.

Won't pretend it wouldn't take some getting used to, but I'd have no inherent issue with supporting them to transition to the gender they feel they should be. The only caveat with it that I'd struggle with and have to get advice over is if they were young (say 10-11) when they suggested they wanted to change gender, as I'd want to be sure it was what they absolutely wanted for life and wasn't something else, such as having homosexual feelings and believing they should change gender due to that. Obviously you don't want to leave it too late as you don't want to go through puberty as the gender you don't want to be, since it's more work to "reverse" changes compared to starting hormone therapy as early as possible,

Yes I'm incredibly triggered it's ****ing outrageous.

Lol, trans people do exist you nob. Not like God, sorry (not sorry).