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What does it mean exactly when a girl says that she didn't feel a spark?

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Original post by Multitalented me

I was chatting with a girl that I liked & just asked her why she wasn't interested in dating me & she said she didn't feel a spark (but it had nothing to do with my appearance). I'm trying to figure out what it was. I haven't exactly met her that much, like did I act to awkward, not flirty/funny enough etc??? How do you create a spark with a girl, just wondering. Thanks :smile:

Not assertive. Not dominant. Not entertaining. Not mysterious. Predictable. Too nice. Not funny. Lack of charisma. Not charming enough.

Reply 21

Devify

There's no "creating a spark". She's just not into you. She doesn't see a relationship happening and that's it. You ever met a girl that you liked but had no wish for a relationship?
Someone may check off all the boxes and seem perfect but it might feel like there's something missing, there's no connection so it doesn't work out.

Reply 22

RelucBeam

Original post by Devify

It's clear that she isn't into him.

OP is asking for the reasons why she may not be into him.

Reply 23

Andy98

Original post by Multitalented me

Indeed, I think it's all experience to be honest. I'm starting to get better by pushing myself by starting conversations with girls etc. It just really bugged me why aha :tongue:

Yeah I know, I'm the same. Another solution I've found is having a couple of pints beforehand - not getting drunk, just having a little bit to help relax

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 24

ALittleLost25

Original post by RelucBeam

Not assertive. Not dominant. Not entertaining. Not mysterious. Predictable. Too nice. Not funny. Lack of charisma. Not charming enough.

All of these, probably acted like a beta, like this for example:

Her: 'I fancy going out for lunch,...'
Him: 'Um ok, where do you want to go?'
Her: 'I don't mind im good with anywhere...'
Him: 'I'm not sure, you pick lol.'

Reply 25

Tiger Rag

You're overthinking this too much.

Reply 26

ANM775

Original post by PandaCalavera

I think it means chemistry. It's possible to find someone physically attractive but you just don't feel an interest in them as a person. Anything can throw it off, personality, demeanor, attitude, tone of voice etc. It's all small things that add to overall attractiveness, not just physical.

spark/chemistry = physical and mental attraction

one or both of these was missing.

However.. If dinner date on ITV1 is anything to go by, when women say they don't feel a "spark" it usually has little to do with the guys personality and is because he's a bit of an average joe in the looks department.

can remember very few women saying they didn't feel a "spark" when the guy was "hot".

Reply 27

username927016

Original post by RelucBeam

Not assertive. Not dominant. Not entertaining. Not mysterious. Predictable. Too nice. Not funny. Lack of charisma. Not charming enough.

Yeah quite possibly hah!

Reply 28

Pinkberry_y

She can't see herself dating you

Reply 29

Zarek

Some mix of your appearance and personality means she doesn't fancy you. Depressing though this can be it is probably better than a relationship starting and being dumped. Plenty more fish and it is definitely better to find someone who is enthusiastic at the outset.

Reply 30

Mrs House

Spark is just a scapegoat for saying sorry not interested because of xyz

Reply 31

username2253227

You know they say you 'know' when you 'know'? She didn't knooow... She wasn't sure ! It's not worth it if she's not sure :frown:

sorry dude

Reply 32

username927016

Original post by Andy98

Yeah I know, I'm the same. Another solution I've found is having a couple of pints beforehand - not getting drunk, just having a little bit to help relax

Posted from TSR Mobile

Well I'm not really into drinking tbh, only liked cider from the alcoholic beverages I've tasted so far as well. I am starting to get better anyway, it just takes a bit of time I feel, like not overthinking every word/action I do & whether it's making me look awkward aha. I think it's better to just not think about these things & be yourself, talk naturally & don't put too much pressure on yourself to impress her or have any particular outcome in mind! :smile:

Reply 33

Kanairee

'Feeling a spark' is that excited little jump you get when you're around someone that you really want to be with. It doesn't mean just because she said it wasn't there that she doesn't like you, she just doesn't see herself being with you in a romantic way. I think if there's no spark there then it's fairer on both of you if nothing happens, just because one of you will always be feeling more for the other one than they do back.