fooling around with guys at uni but without actual sex, would they be up for it?

So you're not going to have the sex for your whole life because you can't take the Pill? The thing you said about being an abusive relationship and therefore wanting to avoid sex is understandable - I feel the same - but the stuff you say about contraception makes you come across as though you didn't get very good sex education at school? I'd suggest looking into the contraception options available to you. Condoms are very reliable but if you want to be extra safe there are numerous options available other than the Pill. And if you did get pregnant, abortions exist, and early stage abortions simply involve taking a pill, which needn't be traumatic.

The pill is not the only contraception out there for girls. I can't take it myself for medical reasons but there is the implant and the coil. Discuss your options with the GP. They're not for everyone but don't trust everything on the Internet.

Re the sexual abuse, have you spoken to anyone about it? That might help you resolve, or at least get close to, your fears.

I hate how people don't see guys who do the same as slutty, that's so unfair.
But yeah I wouldn't be the kind of person who plays with other people's feelings, I hate the people who do that.

No I haven't and I don't intend on doing so because I don't like to talk about my feelings and I'd rather leave that in my past tbh.

Honestly, though, I'd really think about why you want to do this. Don't think in terms of what you want, be truly introspective and decide if it is a good decision to look for hook ups so readily without commitment. Same goes for anyone. I know abusive relationships affect people differently, so try to reflect on everything that's culminated in your experiences and learn from them rather than dwell on them. If you're using this time to work on yourself personally, just remember that there will always be some emotion in sex, even if it's not sex-sex. All the more to you if you're exploring your sexuality and building yourself, just be careful, introspective and stay safe in doing so. Make anyone you are planning on having a stint with well aware of your intentions beforehand, too. I can't stress how much it hurts to develop a connection to someone that only thought of your relationship as a casual fling.

No I haven't and I don't intend on doing so because I don't like to talk about my feelings and I'd rather leave that in my past tbh.

I know you didn't ask for my opinion, but I don't think you should leave it in the past. If you haven't grown from it and come to peace with it, you'll not recover from it. Be aware of your own emotions, even if you don't talk about them to others. Meta-thought can be just as good if not better than professional advice, as long as it's constructive.

thanks, it was a really helpful post. I actually already thought about it and I think I want something casual because I don't want to have feelings and get hurt emotionally

Honestly, take it from someone who has severe mental demons - bottling it up? Not good. Ignoring it won't ever make it go away. You can even try self help.

I despise talking about feelings but I still force myself to do it. In the long run I know that it will help me. In the long run, dealing with your own past will help you. I promise.

It has been two years since this happened, and I do think I have grown from it honestly. I'm not entirely at peace with it because that guy was emotionally abusive, l think a true sociopath tbh, and then he tried to force me into physical things I didn't want, so it's not like I can "forget" it ever happened, even more so because he kept trying to contact me for 1 and a half year after . But, I don't blame myself for it anymore so that's good I think.

That guy is studying in another country now and I moved away so I won't see him ever again probably and it makes me very happy and feeling more safe, so I don't feel the need to talk about it, like it doesn't affect me I think now so I'm "good"

I understand this way of thinking. But think of it this way: if you don't develop these deep connections with people, you're not going to experience the joy of love. If you're afraid of getting into a relationship for fear of failure, you're setting yourself up for it.

Hi ! So long story short, I'm a virgin, as in I've never had actual sex, but I've done pretty much everything else. I don't want to have sex because I was in a relationship where I was kinda abused and it was bordering sexual assault I think, and also I cant take the pill for medical reasons so I'd never want to have sex right now by fear of getting pregnant while I'm at uni. But a girl got needs lol and I wouldn't mind doing stuff with guys, but keeping it casual, I don't want a relationship out of it. So my question is would guys at uni refuse doing stuff but not having actual sex ?

You're right, but I did so poorly at two of my exams because I was so shaken up by this ( the guy who abused me broke up with me 2 hours before the exams, and he had tried to force me into things the night before) and because of this I couldn't get into my first choice uni, so I feel like a failure and I don't want to let someone into my life because what if they affect my life for the worst you know ?

Please remember STIs still spread from 'fooling around' and you can still get pregnant if sperm goes anywhere near your vagina, even via your fingers!

I have friends who messed around in their first year of university and realised it's easier and safer to get a sex toy than to invite strangers and ****boys back to your flat.
Good luck with everything!

Please remember STIs still spread from 'fooling around' and you can still get pregnant if sperm goes anywhere near your vagina, even via your fingers!

I have friends who messed around in their first year of university and realised it's easier and safer to get a sex toy than to invite strangers and ****boys back to your flat.
Good luck with everything!

This is a great time to learn what you personally did wrong and what signs to look for in people. I botched a few of my exams because she became increasingly abusive smack dab in the middle of mine. You can find people that won't abuse you. You can set yourself up to have a healthy relationship if you learn the signs of an unhealthy relationship, as you have an opportunity to do.