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Indifferent to love

I think i'm becoming numb and desensitised to love and affectionate things like songs. I'm not a romantic person as I was before, i'm more of a realist. But, I come across as cold to my boyfriend because , really, I don't feel like it and it isn't something I would personally do.

I'm just indifferent to it now, and I'm worried it'll affect my relationship. It's been like this since June where I really felt it. It's not like it doesn't make me happy, it's just not necessary
What do you mean when you say realist? Do you look at your relationship without feeling in love?

I can kinda relate when you say you have desensitised yourself to love, as I was quite similar to you and used to really be invested in just one person when I was younger and ever since I've been quite happy but numb equally.

Has anything happened to make you feel less about love?*
Original post by Anonymous
I think i'm becoming numb and desensitised to love and affectionate things like songs. I'm not a romantic person as I was before, i'm more of a realist. But, I come across as cold to my boyfriend because , really, I don't feel like it and it isn't something I would personally do.

I'm just indifferent to it now, and I'm worried it'll affect my relationship. It's been like this since June where I really felt it. It's not like it doesn't make me happy, it's just not necessary


It sounds like its more with him. If you find the right person then it will be another matter.
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by 999tigger
It sounds like its more with him. If you find the right person then it will be another matter.


So its to do with him not being the right person?
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Anonymous #1
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Original post by DanielleT192
What do you mean when you say realist? Do you look at your relationship without feeling in love?

I can kinda relate when you say you have desensitised yourself to love, as I was quite similar to you and used to really be invested in just one person when I was younger and ever since I've been quite happy but numb equally.

Has anything happened to make you feel less about love?*


I feel love from his side and security but, love isnt burning out.

I got tired of times i was trying to be more loving and affectionate that it would be ignored and its just that the table has changed. And other family separation issues so i just feel like keeping to myself more
Original post by Anonymous
I think i'm becoming numb and desensitised to love and affectionate things like songs. I'm not a romantic person as I was before, i'm more of a realist. But, I come across as cold to my boyfriend because , really, I don't feel like it and it isn't something I would personally do.

I'm just indifferent to it now, and I'm worried it'll affect my relationship. It's been like this since June where I really felt it. It's not like it doesn't make me happy, it's just not necessary


You can't be indifferent so much as you think. If you are, you were not in a serious relationship what it means to have a boyfriend as a rule. It has not to be love, but a strong feeling to this person nonetheless.*
Reply 6
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Original post by Kallisto
You can't be indifferent so much as you think. If you are, you were not in a serious relationship what it means to have a boyfriend as a rule. It has not to be love, but a strong feeling to this person nonetheless.*


It was hard to understand you at first but from what i get is i cant be indifferent. Sadly thats how i am unless something really moves me. So i don't fully agree with that. I just know that its unbalanced and i need to try and make it equal. It was strong before long distance (3 months) but its a bit dim.
Reply 7
Avatar for 41b
41b
5
You probably have a boron deficiency.

Try taking boron supplements and you'll be back up there.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm just indifferent to it now, and I'm worried it'll affect my relationship. It's been like this since June where I really felt it. It's not like it doesn't make me happy, it's just not necessary


It kinda happens as the relationship progresses, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. Love isn't all warm hearts and butterflies, once it develops deeper you do start to feel "indifferent" but it's actually really being content and comfortable. That's how I see it anyway.
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Original post by -
It kinda happens as the relationship progresses, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. Love isn't all warm hearts and butterflies, once it develops deeper you do start to feel "indifferent" but it's actually really being content and comfortable. That's how I see it anyway.

Very interesting, i didn't see it as that. And to come to think of it I am much more comfortable now than before. I just worried since it was once anxious thrill to now a calm sea. And more relaxed
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Very interesting, i didn't see it as that. And to come to think of it I am much more comfortable now than before. I just worried since it was once anxious thrill to now a calm sea. And more relaxed


I think a lot of people mix up the excitement at the beginning of a relationship as "love". At the first sign of these emotions fading, people jump ship to a new relationship or go single thinking that the relationship had died. I've been there myself, I've felt it, and I soon lost those feelings. Over time I became comfortable, content, and I appreciated the little things...and that was when I knew I'd fallen in love.

Love is not all sunshine and rainbows. Love is about committing to another person through the good times and the bad.
Original post by -
I think a lot of people mix up the excitement at the beginning of a relationship as "love". At the first sign of these emotions fading, people jump ship to a new relationship or go single thinking that the relationship had died. I've been there myself, I've felt it, and I soon lost those feelings. Over time I became comfortable, content, and I appreciated the little things...and that was when I knew I'd fallen in love.

Love is not all sunshine and rainbows. Love is about committing to another person through the good times and the bad.


I was falling for the same trap. But glad you explained it further. I appreciate it . Its a big help. Thank you
(edited 5 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I feel love from his side and security but, love isnt burning out.

I got tired of times i was trying to be more loving and affectionate that it would be ignored and its just that the table has changed. And other family separation issues so i just feel like keeping to myself more
*

"Love isn't burning" - are you referring to him, yourself or both?

The 2nd paragraph you sound like you've kinda given up a little bit because you've maybe exhausted yourself with giving so much and not receiving, is this the same guy that you have gave a lot of love to but not got the same in return? All of those things you describe are understandable but im sure it'll be possible to experience what you have experienced in the past.
Original post by DanielleT192
*

"Love isn't burning" - are you referring to him, yourself or both?

The 2nd paragraph you sound like you've kinda given up a little bit because you've maybe exhausted yourself with giving so much and not receiving, is this the same guy that you have gave a lot of love to but not got the same in return? All of those things you describe are understandable but im sure it'll be possible to experience what you have experienced in the past.


From my side to his . And yeah , i should leave the frustration in the past and try and move on and try again .

I did give up on giving a lot but i just need to give what i can and not exhaust myself . Just relax and take it easy

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