Why didn't you wait/why aren't you waiting? (Premarital sex) Had to repost x

I wish I could have sex before marriage but if my parents found out they would go ballistic and no other man would want second hand goods I feel this barrier of I can't have sex before marriage automatically limits who I can have a relationship with and I bet I'll just end up with someone my parents are strongly encouraging me to be with.
What's so frustrating is my mum doesn't even see any flaw in her thinking no matter how much you reason with her

That's absolute ********, and the type of ******** you'd hear from abstinence-only education. There is no barrier, it's likely some delusional adult likely decided to scare the **** out of you as a vulnerable child.

The terribly sad thing with this logic is that it assumes a guy's penis is so important that it changes a girl forever... "Second hand goods"? Honey, no, you are your own person, it's your body. If you have sex with zero people or with a hundred, you are still a person, you are still worth the same. You are not a product.

Please, for your own well-being, get away from your toxic family and learn how to develop natural relationships. You shouldn't get married to someone who is pleased that nobody else has had 'his woman' before... That's a horrible way of thinking about you. You deserve better

What religion are you op

I can't get away from my family, I'm in uni now and live away from home but I still come back during the holidays, I'm 100% reliant on my dad financially. Whilst my dad is chilled and not as strong willed about this, it is mainly my mum that's the driving force. It's easy from the outside to say get away etc but it's very hard to bring yourself to do it. My only hope is when I graduate I am guaranteed a job and it will be well paying so I will have some independence then. But by then I'll be 25
My other hope is ill meet someone I love and that will give me the strong will to say no to my family and pursue a relationship with them regardless, I hope :/

What do you mean what does male attention have to do with this? That is self explanatory. Im talking about male attention as in males giving you sexual attention rather than you going on about how you prefer to masturbate

From experience, sex feels more pleasurable than masturbation, even if I don't have an orgasm. Unless you use certain sex toys, there are areas that you might not have stimulated before. The posterior fornix is another exogenous zone other than the clitoris that I didn't know existed until having penetrative sex for example.

It's not just the physical aspect, but the mental aspect of trusting someone enough to be at your most vulnerable side with them. I have great respect and love for my partner and learning how to pleasure each other is very rewarding. Then, after sex, we can just cuddle up together and talk about life.

I never felt like I needed marriage to do that. I'm not sure if the relationship will last forever, but I make the most of it while it's there. The uncertainty of the duration of our relationship actually makes me appreciate it more. As someone who too often takes things for granted, it's actually better for my relationship.

Also, if it does end, I'll be more confident and knowledgeable about sex with my next partner.

To me, marriage is optional. I have known several couples who can't really afford a wedding, and aren't married, but are in successful and committed relationships with a family and everything.

Sex isn't a finite resource, I don't think it has to be shared with only one person. Other people could teach you a lot of things about sex that you didn't know before. It's an intimate learning experience.

Let's assume that there's two primary reasons for having sex:
- Hedonism.
- Chemical bonding between two people.

Surely it's more rational to have sex for those two reasons (ie; self-pleasure and chemically drawing the relationship in a more intimate direction) than it is to limit yourself to waiting until you've gone through an arbitrary and archaic ceremony?

It seems odd to say that, for example, oral sex with someone is ok, but that intercourse isn't.

You're also risking elevating intercourse to something that is so special that the reality can't live up to it. Is there really such a difference between having someone's fingers or tongue inside you and having their penis?

My mum won't even let me use a tampon because it'll break my hymen, she says western women who use it are like whores etc who only wear a tampon so they can be provocative even when they're on their periods.

It actually makes me want to cry with frustration when I think about how backwards her mentality is for someone who's meant to be educated

Unfortunately whilst I do live In the UK, my parents (mum in particular, dad doesn't care as much) expect me to marry someone who's originally from my country, even if that means going back to my home country to find a husband.
The men back there use the blood on the sheet test to see if a girl is still a virign and if they find out you're not, whenever you get into arguments etc they'll call you second hand and throw it back in your face

I wish I could have sex before marriage but if my parents found out they would go ballistic and no other man would want second hand goods I feel this barrier of I can't have sex before marriage automatically limits who I can have a relationship with and I bet I'll just end up with someone my parents are strongly encouraging me to be with.
What's so frustrating is my mum doesn't even see any flaw in her thinking no matter how much you reason with her