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Hate being British Pakistani female

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Reply 20

HaramiSalami

Original post by Anonymous

Well I'll just feel guilty for letting them down.

Are you a Haraami? :tongue:

I forgot about my name :colondollar:

Well I'm not exactly Halal...

You can be a good person and still live your own life, rebels are the best of people.

Reply 21

z33

Original post by sdotd

I know loads of muslims. Arabs, Indian, African etc. But they all hate muslims from Pakistan as they give muslims a bad name.

Heyyyy heyheyhey I'm Arab and almost all my Muslim friends including my best friend are all pakistani. Das ******** generalisation. Pakistanis tend to be nice people from what I've seen. :smile:

Reply 22

username1894983

this thread is retarded

Reply 23

sleepysnooze

Original post by Sabertooth

Baroness Warsi?

pttfffffffffff no :lol:

Reply 24

sdotd

Original post by z33

Heyyyy heyheyhey I'm Arab and almost all my Muslim friends including my best friend are all pakistani. Das ******** generalisation. Pakistanis tend to be nice people from what I've seen. :smile:

Don't shoot the messenger

Reply 25

Anonymous #4

If it helps, I think Pakistan is an interesting country, and generally think it's cool when someone(/'s parents) are from a different country to me, regardless of what that country is, because you hear a different point of view in things :smile:

Living in the UK doesn't mean you'll never face controlling partners/arranged marriage/etc, but I guess it puts you in a better position to resist it (although I understand this can be difficult with family pressure and so on).

Anyone who associates British Pakistanis (or any group) with negative stories and stereotypes like what you find in the media is not worth listening to

Reply 26

Anonymous #5

I live in Pakistan but i have some British friends. And tbh they all are fine with me being a muslim. And fyi there are many Pak british personalities who are successful and respected all over the world. london is being controlled by a pakistani. And if ur family wants you to marry your cousin then that is traditional not islamic. You can marry anyone you want to marry. some of the british people who hate muslims bcz they think we are terrorist. according to CNN there are only 0.006625% muslim population are extremist.So you should learn to ignore them.

Reply 27

1010marina

Do you not watch the news? Every time there is an Islamic terror incident there is always a corresponding post about how some Muslims planted some peace flowers or something.

Mate, step away from those controlling and sexist men. You do not deserved to be abused.

Reply 28

PrincessBO$$

Original post by Anonymous

Hmm I don't think Arabs/Afrcans are any better with their 16 wives.

This is funny cause i rarely see a british somali with 16 wives. Maybe 16 kids :rofl:

Reply 29

Anonymous #6

If you don't mind me asking are your family religious or very culture?From what I'm hearing and from what I know, the way you are being treated is because of "back in the days" culture traditions. From a religious perspective, as a Muslim girl / woman your not allowed to be forced in to a marriage and as a Muslim girl you have every right to speak what's on your mind and express yourself. As a Muslim girl you have every right to an education ect. In the religion of Islam it is said from what I have learnt that woman have a right to property in the sense that if you make a living no man can take it and claim it for their own. You have a right. I really hope things get better for you. I hope one day people can see the difference between the "backwards" traditions and religion. When that happens, you will feel better. Don't get be wrong some of the traditions can be nice, but when it's striping you of being your own person that's when people need to take a step back and realise where they are going wrong. If your family are even a little religious, then hopefully they will realise everything they are doing to you is against your religion. Good luck x

Reply 30

username2705335

Original post by HaramiSalami

I forgot about my name :colondollar:

Well I'm not exactly Halal...

You can be a good person and still live your own life, rebels are the best of people.

That username though

Reply 31

Nuba123

I'm a British Muslim Pakistan Female and I'm deeply offended. :biggrin:

joke you're entitled to your opinion but I can't help feeling the same at times

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 32

Anonymous #7

I'm not a girl but I feel like I can relate in some way. I'm also not pakistani but I look like I could be grouped into the whole Indian/Paki/Bengali group whatever. I don't like the image we've all painted for ourselves either, and they are definitely principles I will not bring in to my future family.

I also don't like how repressed the girls are, it really stops them from being more refined individuals and when I meet someone who seems to be too deep into the control of their parents it makes me a bit disappointed inside when I see the potential she has. If I do get to know such a girl I'll encourage her to be more free.

Reply 33

PrincessBO$$

Original post by Kraixo

this thread is retarded

This thread is degrading.

Reply 34

Nim_123

I'm with you up to a point, I mean as British Pakistani Female you do get a bit degraded in media and there is a lack of role models, however why focus on the media in looking for your role models, just be who you want to be rather than being someone else.

I also understand the whole "married to cousin" situation, even though none of my aunties and uncles are, (I mean by blood)other members of my family and family friends are and I honestly think it's wrong but am not in the situation where it's ever a worry for me.

I think we are however expected to do a lot at home whereas males don't really have any similar responsibilities, but I think this is more due to sexism than religion on its own.

I think the worse thing is being judged by other Pakistanis and some family in terms of being too westernised and doing things which some stricter families deem as wrong such as being friends with non-Muslims, wearing western clothes, not wearing a hijab, parents allowing to go out alone etc.

Overall, I feel like it doesn't really matter about media and doing what's expected, generally we're fine in society, and a lot has changed overall. I think maybe we should just be who we are and stop allowing some of society, or family etc to oppress us.

Reply 35

Anonymous #8

Original post by Anonymous

Are you indian?

Reply 36

HaramiSalami

Original post by saraxh

That username though

Reply 37

username2803872

as a british pakistani and going to a white majority school I can tell you that is not the case sure people will judge you before they get to know you but so does everyone white=chav black=thief etc but once people know you then you won't have a problem and if I were in a relationship I would never treat my wife/girlfriend badly ever or oppress her in anyway

Reply 38

yungaheartz

Original post by Anonymous

Brb living under parent rules when young. Brb living under husbands and in laws rules when married off.

Original post by samina_ay

Well, i couldn't agree more. What do we pakistani women do exactly? Nothing.Live with our parents till we're married off, have kids, cook, clean, grow old and die.

um... correct me if i'm wrong but isn't all this culture rather than religion?
aren't women allowed to DEMAND their own accommodations when they get married?
Aren't wives allowed to have rights of their own?
you girls need to try standing your ground, ok against parents it may be hard but try to argue with religious logic.

First things first - learn about your religion and your rights as a wife. here are a few facts that may baffle you:

1. a woman cannot be forced into marrying any guy, the decision has to be her choice in the end because a forced marriage doesn't count as a marriage in Islam
2. before marriage the woman is allowed to set her own demands. if she wants to continue working or studying after marriage or wants her own house or doesn't want to wear a hijab after marriage she is allowed to demand this. most guys say yes because if he refuses her demands then of course she can refuse the marriage
3. believe it or not the only duty of a daughter-in-law to her parents-in-law is that she has to respect them because they are older than her. she does not have to listen to them, look after them and certainly does not have to put up with any abuse from them
4. In fact if you study it properly, the only duty of a wife is to give her husband sex
she doesn't even have to do any housework is she doesn't want to
5. why oh why do all women forget this. you can walk out of a marriage as easily as you walked into one. if you're not getting your rights exercised or are getting any sort of abuse you can leave your husband. the sad thing is most women don't because of the 'taboo/shame' of being a divorced woman or think its the lesser of two evils to be marriage and miserable/controlled rather than single and alone. and this is the reason why a lot of men are able to treat their wives like doormats, because they know that their wives will let them get away with it

if you've got nothing to threaten them with, they've got nothing to be intimidated by

you don't need your parents to have your back. if you've got intelligence, knowledge and God on your side you can handle anything in life.

Reply 39

MathSci1999

Original post by Anonymous

Brit Pakistani have to be one of the Uncoolest people to be in the UK today. No one likes us. Nothing cool about us. Sexist controlling men(from my own experience) Nothing positive about us in the media. No famous female British Pakistani role models-no famous pak Brit females full stop. So many negative news stories e.g, grooming, gangs etc

We're crap at sports apart from cricket. Our food is good but it will always be called "Indian food".

All my relatives are married to their cousins. Therefore family want me to marry my cousin from a village in pak FML. Brb living under parent rules when young. Brb living under husbands and in laws rules when married off. Brb no freedom. Brb no self expression allowed esp if you're female. Brb compulsory to cook and clean for a girl.

On top of that coming from a Muslim background people are suspicious of us.

Hey I am a fellow Biritish Pakistani Muslim.
Your referring to a negative perception of Pakistan in media and in general, yet you are her ranting about how 'uncool' it is being british pakistani, ironic.

I cannot relate to any of the things you said above.

You talk about role models, but you dont need to have role models that belong to the same culture as you.
I have many role models, my father, Ronaldo, certain indivuals in my life and other people, apart from my father none of these people are pakistani , yet they are my role models.

You say stuff about controlling parents and stuff and bound to be amrried to a controlled husband. thats an unfair statemnet.

I am only 17 years old, but i know for the fact that i will treat my future wife as a princess, my parents have always taught me to treat your spouse with respect, not to use physical force of any kind and thye repeat the same same many times - everything can be resolved with love, even the biggest of arguments.
I feel in a way you have set your mindset towards certain things in life, its as if you expect for some things to happen.

I am a pakistani, i have dreams of becoming the role of model of millions of pakistanis in the future through sport and media, i intend on doing that and i have the confidence that i will. Me being pakistani will not stop that.

Pakistani Muslims in the media have a bad name in general, so i say why not become the media.

and i can understand if you have a quite traditional family and stuff, in that case educate yoursefl, become independent and then find a wonderful husband who will treat you properly.