The Student Room Group

Girl I like seems to be going off the rails

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Original post by Scitty
Mate. This is a girl who has repeatedly told you she's not into you. Take a hint she's not interested. Don't keep hassling and following.
And if even her closest, oldest friends can do nothing, there's not really much more you can do.

Let her go and move on. She'll get a wake up call eventually, or one of her long-time acquaintances will sort her out. Do as the others said: say you're there for her, leave it in her court, and get on with life. Sounds like she's had a rough start to things and needs time and space to figure things out.


From what I can gather none of her long term friends can get through to her. The thing is she's 29 and her friends have said "she's acting like she's 18"
Original post by RooshV
Why are you interested in her when she already has children AND isn't even interested in you.

Come on dude


this :nah:
Sounds like she's making the wrong choices and going down a bad path, but if her closest friends can't get to her, neither will you be able to. Move on. Only she can help herself, and if she continues to make the wrong choices then she is a lost cause whom will only needlessly cause you and her friends headache and pain. Realise you're better than that and move on.
Original post by TheTungsten74
Sounds like she's making the wrong choices and going down a bad path, but if her closest friends can't get to her, neither will you be able to. Move on. Only she can help herself, and if she continues to make the wrong choices then she is a lost cause whom will only needlessly cause you and her friends headache and pain. Realise you're better than that and move on.


I guess I am probably better than having to put up with how she's being and causing me pain but at this moment in time I still do care about her.
Reply 24
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe she doesn't want my efforts but I feel like I can't sit around and do nothing. Her oldest friends are even worried about her and they're asking me a guy who has only known her for a few months to try and help.


What do you expect to happen by getting involved? She already made it clear that she isn't into you, you're only going to go and get your own feelings hurt.

'Saving' her from those problems isn't going to make her like you back. You don't even talk anymore, I assume it's because she rejected you a second time and you couldn't handle talking to her anymore as a friend?

Whichever way you decide to 'help' her, she probably won't appreciate that you are interfering in her life and often in this situation accuse you of harassing/stalking. Maybe even claim that you a jealous of the new guy. It's been weeks since you spoke but you're checking up on her so much?

Shes a grown woman who doesn't need parenting. Just let it go.
Original post by sh9
What do you expect to happen by getting involved? She already made it clear that she isn't into you, you're only going to go and get your own feelings hurt.

'Saving' her from those problems isn't going to make her like you back. You don't even talk anymore, I assume it's because she rejected you a second time and you couldn't handle talking to her anymore as a friend?

Whichever way you decide to 'help' her, she probably won't appreciate that you are interfering in her life and often in this situation accuse you of harassing/stalking. Maybe even claim that you a jealous of the new guy. It's been weeks since you spoke but you're checking up on her so much?

Shes a grown woman who doesn't need parenting. Just let it go.


I do realise that I need to let it go but when her oldest friends are also worried about her and don't like the new guy she's seeing surely that shows that something needs to be done?
Reply 26
Original post by Anonymous
I do realise that I need to let it go but when her oldest friends are also worried about her and don't like the new guy she's seeing surely that shows that something needs to be done?


Yes, she probably does need help but it isn't your right to get involved. If someone is going to get through to her, it will be someone close who is still in her life.

Why did you the both of you stop talking? Did she not care that you were no longer messaging her?
Original post by sh9
Yes, she probably does need help but it isn't your right to get involved. If someone is going to get through to her, it will be someone close who is still in her life.

Why did you the both of you stop talking? Did she not care that you were no longer messaging her?


I kind of stopped talking to her because after she told me nothing would happen between us I left it a few days and messaged her just making small chat, she read the message but never replied. So I decided I'm better than that and distanced myself from her and decided not to message her again, I've still got her number and got her on social media but that's about it.
Reply 28
Original post by Anonymous
I kind of stopped talking to her because after she told me nothing would happen between us I left it a few days and messaged her just making small chat, she read the message but never replied. So I decided I'm better than that and distanced myself from her and decided not to message her again, I've still got her number and got her on social media but that's about it.


Sounds like you have feelings for her and it really does suck but it's something you have to accept for your own good. My advice comes from being in similar situations and in the end they never stay.

Unless she messages you first and wants to speak to you, I suggest you do what you can to forget about her.

You think really highly of her right now but chasing her is going to end in disappointment. Like.. "Watching someone's true colours ruin the picture they painted in your head."
She will crush whatever hope or chance you think you have by pursuing her, so for your own sake do not do it.
Original post by sh9
Sounds like you have feelings for her and it really does suck but it's something you have to accept for your own good. My advice comes from being in similar situations and in the end they never stay.

Unless she messages you first and wants to speak to you, I suggest you do what you can to forget about her.

You think really highly of her right now but chasing her is going to end in disappointment. Like.. "Watching someone's true colours ruin the picture they painted in your head."
She will crush whatever hope or chance you think you have by pursuing her, so for your own sake do not do it.


I do have feelings for her. As for everything else you have said I think it is the perfect sort of advice that I need right now.
Original post by Anonymous
She is.


Well then you should punish her so she learns her lesson
Original post by JavaScriptMaster
Well then you should punish her so she learns her lesson


Punish her how? And what would that achieve?
Original post by Anonymous
Punish her how? And what would that achieve?


It would show that your in control?
Original post by JavaScriptMaster
It would show that your in control?


So punish her by not talking to her?
Original post by Anonymous
So punish her by not talking to her?


Yea that's one option. Or you can tie her up and spank her
Original post by JavaScriptMaster
Yea that's one option. Or you can tie her up and spank her


I think not talking to her would be the better option.
Original post by Anonymous
I think not talking to her would be the better option.


Aight man go with your gut

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