Can I just ask how do some girls get boyfriends so easily?

I went to an all girls school and 6th form yet despite that some girls there still found boyfriends and met guys fairly easily whereas I did not know a single guy in all 7 years.
Then I go to uni which is known to be a male dominated uni where you'd think my chances would be sky high at getting a boyfriend but no, a big fat ZERO! I have guy friends but that's it, no ones asked me out, never kissed a guy sober. I have kissed a few guys drunk but they haven't messaged me the next day or when they see me around they don't really converse that much with me.
What am I doing wrong?! I'm in a sports society at uni and it's mixed sex where a few people have found met other guys through it and dated, whereas for me there had been ZERO interest.
Whereas some girls can literally get any guy they want or are barley single for more than a few months. Some of these girls aren't even good looking and I know that looks are definitely not everything, but they must have some attractive personality but what?

I really wanna know what I can do to improve myself, can you guys please please offer some, any advice!

That's kind of strange that you're observing plenty of girls with serious boyfriends at university.
My observations from two different universities now are entirely different. Rather than many people getting into serious or, let's say, genuine relationships easily and smoothly, I have witnessed that people rarely date/ have sex exclusively and with commitment. Whether that reflects what people want is a different question. Even if people are seeing people, they're often not necessarily fulfilled in their relationship emotionally, sexually and personality-wise. That's what I've gleaned from own experience/ talking to quite a lot of people/ observation. There's a lot of pressure externally on for example, girls to be in a relationship e.g. family/ friends always ask expectantly if there's someone special in my life and if there is, I'd get some approval for some weird reason. It's like it's a form of validation. 'Oh she has a boyfriend, good for her she must be doing something right' regardless, of whether that boyfriend is actually good for that girl on a personal level. On the other side of the coin, there are sexual desires a flimsy relationship can fulfil. Then there's the fact people don't want to be alone for fear of being lonely. Let's just put it this way, its not necessarily some ideal bond or connection they're sharing, if that's what you're after, often just quite bad reasons to need someone. I'm going to be realistic with you. You've said you don't want to have sex with just anyone, but a lot of these girls who are in 'relationships' are doing just that.

As for where successful relationships do happen, it's hard to specify how they start off as each case is usually different. On the whole however you increase your chances if you don't go out specifically with the mindset 'I need to find a boyfriend' but rather to take it easy, get to know people and have a good time. Getting very drunk and clubbing by the way are not ideal conditions to meet ones other half I've learnt, though rarely it does happen. Socialise with a lot of people very often, just for the hell of it, and be warm and friendly, and relaxed and happy, and a good conversationalist and eventually someone will show interest. There's literally no way it won't happen eventually. Don't wait for it, that's a waste of life, and a waste of energy and it will definitely pigeon hole you.

As for flirting, a lot of flirting is literally just banter, sorry to use the term but its true. The more you socialise the better you get with the banter, the better you get with flirting.

You have to be ready to accept the fact that nobody finds a great fulfilled relationship with the click of the fingers, and especially since you haven't got experience in the field, this is going to be a learning process where things don't necessarily go like you planned 100% of the time. Sure you might meet someone you feel a spark with, but it might not work out. On the flip side, you might feel embarrassed in front of guy, but find he likes you anyway. It's a lottery (luckily with a lot higher success rate than the national lottery) but the more times you play the lottery the higher your chance of winning.

Just make sure you're not going out looking for a boyfriend for the wrong reasons. e.g. Because you feel like you've missed out not having one, so you're desperate for one now, or because you feel alone, or because you need someone to bring up your confidence. From the sounds of things you're really searching for this thing hard and that worries me because it makes me think why don't you feel like you're enough on your own. Sure, you feel frustrated because you went to an all girls school, but you don't need to rush into a relationship because of that right away. There is literally no need. Think about all the other things in your life that ground you. A good reliable friend can often be a lot more marvellous than a boyfriend, trust me. With any luck you'll eventually stop caring and that's when you'll be at your happiest.

I'm sorry if I haven't given a guidebook to how to get a boyfriend but to be honest no one should ever write one. You should be who you are and never change yourself for anyone, especially not to attract someone. That's like the worse thing you can do for yourself and it makes me sad to think you're sitting there pining over how to change yourself. You, and we all, really ought to aim to be truer our to ourselves, and give ourselves the credit we deserve, not feel we're not enough and try to transform ourselves for the sake of attraction. Attracting anyone to you requires that you truly like yourself first. That's something you can and will learn to do. Liking yourself is a necessary prerequisite for the dating game. Not enough people understand this.

Reply 41

Ezme39

19

Original post by Anonymous

This is going to sound so dumb but, how do you flirt? I'm 100% being serious, I don't know how to flirt. How do you flirt in real life and on text? I don't have a clue what I'm doing, I don't understand where people learnt how to do these things :frown:

Complimenting them is a good place to start :smile:

I'll usually start with something like 'you're really sweet' or 'it's so nice talking to you'.
In real life, smiling a lot and tonnes of eye contact, and offering to spend time with them. By text, wink faces after any mildly amusing comment. Ask them a lot about themselves, and say how you're there for them.
When you're not confident, it's all in the subtlety.

Reply 42

silverbolt

19

Original post by Yasoob Shah

you cannot do much about your physical beauty just wear some make up.
but you can try to improve your personality, i haven't seen it but try the personality of the girls who you think get the the boys easily.

no. This is not good advice. Do not change who you are to fit in how you perceive others should want you to be

Reply 43

NikkiNakki

3

Original post by Anonymous

I went to an all girls school and 6th form yet despite that some girls there still found boyfriends and met guys fairly easily whereas I did not know a single guy in all 7 years.
Then I go to uni which is known to be a male dominated uni where you'd think my chances would be sky high at getting a boyfriend but no, a big fat ZERO! I have guy friends but that's it, no ones asked me out, never kissed a guy sober. I have kissed a few guys drunk but they haven't messaged me the next day or when they see me around they don't really converse that much with me.
What am I doing wrong?! I'm in a sports society at uni and it's mixed sex where a few people have found met other guys through it and dated, whereas for me there had been ZERO interest.
Whereas some girls can literally get any guy they want or are barley single for more than a few months. Some of these girls aren't even good looking and I know that looks are definitely not everything, but they must have some attractive personality but what?

I really wanna know what I can do to improve myself, can you guys please please offer some, any advice!

You do not need to improve yourself!! Never change for anybody (unless you are a complete cow lol) someone will come along.

Reply 44

Devify

19

You need to take charge. They get boyfriends because they ask them out or kiss them when they're out, or just hint about it enough showing interest in them. Loads of guys are too shy to ask a girl out, even if they seem outgoing. So there may be multiple guys who like you but don't think you would date them

Reply 45

stereoashhh

2

Original post by silverbolt

no. This is not good advice. Do not change who you are to fit in how you perceive others should want you to be

I disagree tbh. We all have flaws and things about ourselves we want to change. There's nothing wrong with changing for the better. It's not necessarily changing to fit in.

Reply 46

MrsSheldonCooper

20

No idea OP it's a mystery to me too.

Doesn't help I'm painfully shy around guys if I have romantic feelings for them :colondollar:

Reply 47

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Devify

You need to take charge. They get boyfriends because they ask them out or kiss them when they're out, or just hint about it enough showing interest in them. Loads of guys are too shy to ask a girl out, even if they seem outgoing. So there may be multiple guys who like you but don't think you would date them

I've kissed guys out on nights out! They do not do anything about it next day and some of them when they see me the next day will blank me or barely show any interest. I've given my number to guys when they've asked and they haven't even bothered to text me!

Reply 48

username1726117

14

Original post by Anonymous

I've kissed guys out on nights out! They do not do anything about it next day and some of them when they see me the next day will blank me or barely show any interest. I've given my number to guys when they've asked and they haven't even bothered to text me!

If you're looking for a boyfriend don't kiss random guys on a night out.

Reply 49

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by MrsSheldonCooper

No idea OP it's a mystery to me too.

Doesn't help I'm painfully shy around guys if I have romantic feelings for them :colondollar:

Exactly OMG this is my problem. If there's a guy I really like my mouth literally clamps shut and I can't say anything or when j do it just sounds like I have social problems or am really snobby when it's just because I'm really shy. I genuinely admire girls who can go up to a guy they like and just start talking to them, I think I'd rather shave off my eyebrows than do that

Reply 50

Anonymous #1

OP

But I don't understand what else I'm supposed to do when they come up and start talking to me?!

Reply 51

Ezme39

19

Going to agree with this.
A couple of guys have asked for my number after a snog on a night out, and it turns out that our compatibility was zero.
Boyfriends tend to stem from shared hobbies or friendships.

Reply 52

Ezme39

19

Original post by Anonymous

But I don't understand what else I'm supposed to do when they come up and start talking to me?!

There's nothing wrong with it! It just won't lead to anything serious :smile:

Reply 53

username1726117

14

Original post by Anonymous

But I don't understand what else I'm supposed to do when they come up and start talking to me?!

Maybe talk to them back? :gah:

Seriously, right, if you're wanting to develop a meaningful relationship with anyone then the last thing they want to know is that in order to try and get that you've been kissing random guys. Quit it. It's immature. If you want to be single and have fun then by all means go kiss anyone who comes your way, but you're wanting a boyfriend. So, that's one thing you can do.

Secondly, be proactive. Sign up to online dating, Tinder, talk to guys, get to know them and arrange outings etc. Okay yes traditionally men are supposed to make a move but times have changed and sometimes you'll strike out if you don't do anything. A girl taking action is 100x more appealing than one who expects things to just fall into place, in my opinion.

Dress well, eat well, work out, smell good, take up hobbies, spend time with friends, go out often...just keep on trying new things and eventually you'll just click with someone.

Reply 54

Zeeiqbal

11

You got to be friends with someone first before you even start dating. Someone cant come up to you and ask you out without knowing you properly.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 55

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Ezme39

There's nothing wrong with it! It just won't lead to anything serious :smile:

Thanks Ezme, your advice has been really good and you seem like a nice person. But this thread has just made me more confused about my life. In uni I have gone out, done some sports, taken part in charity activities etc and nothing fruitful has come of it. Even when I haven't looked for a boyfriend, none have come my way.
I think the issue is I just don't know how to act in a seductive or confident manner to guys to attract them like that. There is no hope for me :frown:

Reply 56

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zeeiqbal

You got to be friends with someone first before you even start dating. Someone cant come up to you and ask you out without knowing you properly.

Posted from TSR Mobile

None of the friends I have do I see as anything more than a friend :frown:

and the guy I do like quite a bit right now I'm too shy to go up to and talk to to befriend because I did something stupid in front of him when drunk and I'm scared he'll realise I like him and think I'm desperate :frown:

Reply 57

username1726117

14

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks Ezme, your advice has been really good and you seem like a nice person. But this thread has just made me more confused about my life. In uni I have gone out, done some sports, taken part in charity activities etc and nothing fruitful has come of it. Even when I haven't looked for a boyfriend, none have come my way.
I think the issue is I just don't know how to act in a seductive or confident manner to guys to attract them like that. There is no hope for me :frown:

OP you sound like me. I live my life and I don't have any luck with the girls. Sometimes **** just happens. On the bright side you're attractive otherwise they won't kiss you on a night out.

Chin up. Sometimes it just takes time and finding the right person.

Reply 58

Anonymous #1

OP

Thank you for your advice as well, and I think it's just because I'm wearing revealing clothes which increases the appeal on a night out and they can tell I'm tipsy/ drunk :frown:

but you're right **** does happen I goes oh well.
I think moving forward from here I'm just going to take up yoga and live in my own bubble. i wish I'd never gone to an all girls school, if I hadn't I potentially wouldn't be having this problem of not knowing how to even act around a guy I like :frown:

Reply 59

username2246259

16

You sound desperate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlfKNqoL8JY This might help