Should I tell a girl her boyfriend is cheating?!
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Original post by dairychocolate
Morally, it's generally right to let someone know they're being snaked out, but, in real life, I wouldn't get involved if I didn't know the people involved. It's a bit weird to meddle in the affairs of complete strangers.
This is a bit different, though, especially since OP has herself hooked up with the cheater. In OP's situation, I'd feel obliged to let the girl know; cheating is one of the scummiest things someone can do and the girl would be better off knowing the truth as soon as possible.
Yeah, that's the thing. As much as it may be right to inform the girl, nobody knows how she would react, even when proof of cheating is provided. Plus the bloke would react angrily, too. You'd perhaps have to find a way to give the girl the information anonymously.
This is a bit different, though, especially since OP has herself hooked up with the cheater. In OP's situation, I'd feel obliged to let the girl know; cheating is one of the scummiest things someone can do and the girl would be better off knowing the truth as soon as possible.
Yeah, that's the thing. As much as it may be right to inform the girl, nobody knows how she would react, even when proof of cheating is provided. Plus the bloke would react angrily, too. You'd perhaps have to find a way to give the girl the information anonymously.
She most likely won't even break up with him anyway.
Original post by xobeauty
She most likely won't even break up with him anyway.
Most people I know would end a relationship if their partner cheated. Even if she didn't she should still be aware of it.
Original post by 0to100
It just sounds like sabotage and not something honourable as you are trying to put it.
I don't see it that way at all. Sabotage implies that it will be advantageous to OP or that it is in retaliation to something when this is not the case at all.
I will continue to view telling this girl as a positive thing, and I think you will continue to view it in a negative light so let's agree to disagree.
Original post by xobeauty
She most likely won't even break up with him anyway.
Yeah, the bloke could sell her some BS/sob story or the girl could just go into denial. Usually, the person who breaks the news actually gets the most hate and nothing positive happens.
While the intention is good, I'm not sure it would play out well irl.
It's a very grey area.
Original post by lonyeka
I don't see it that way at all. Sabotage implies that it will be advantageous to OP or that it is in retaliation to something when this is not the case at all.
I will continue to view telling this girl as a positive thing, and I think you will continue to view it in a negative light so let's agree to disagree.
I will continue to view telling this girl as a positive thing, and I think you will continue to view it in a negative light so let's agree to disagree.
Nah you're not gonna dismiss me when you quoted me 1st.
Sabotage is simply doing something to hurt someone else. And it would seem that way. Did you read the op? He/She's not dating the guy anymore. A month has passed since she's been in contact with him or the girl. OP clearly moved on and felt no reason to say anything before. She left the guy supposedly and that's really the best thing to do. Going around planting seeds of doubt is just wrong. She also hinted beforehand and the gf obliviously denied it. So screw it. If she was still dating him and said something it would seem like she wants the relationship to fall apart so she can take him. Hopefully that's not the case.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by 0to100
Nah you're not gonna dismiss me when you quoted me 1st.
Sabotage is simply doing something to hurt someone else. And it would seem that way. Did you read the op? He/She's not dating the guy anymore. A month has passed since she's been in contact with him or the girl. OP clearly moved on and felt no reason to say anything before. She left the guy supposedly and that's really the best thing to do. Going around planting seeds of doubt is just wrong. She also hinted beforehand and the gf obliviously denied it. So screw it.
Sabotage is simply doing something to hurt someone else. And it would seem that way. Did you read the op? He/She's not dating the guy anymore. A month has passed since she's been in contact with him or the girl. OP clearly moved on and felt no reason to say anything before. She left the guy supposedly and that's really the best thing to do. Going around planting seeds of doubt is just wrong. She also hinted beforehand and the gf obliviously denied it. So screw it.
Why do you want to keep this convo going round in circles. I started the quoting and I attempted to end them because it is clocking 3:00am. But whatever, I can keep at it.
I don't see how it's sabotage because OP wants to tell the girl no doubt so that she avoid further pain and so that she can find out about the cheating before she gets anymore invested in the relationship. It's much better for her to find out now rather than later as she'll be wasting her time on a guy who doesn't respect her and can cut her losses sooner if that's what she chooses to do.
OP is thinking about telling the girl because she realised that he's still cheating and that he's not being honest with his girlfriend despite OP urging him to be the first time.
Edit: It's not "seeds of doubt" if OP knows for a fact that he is cheating.
(edited 7 years ago)
Obviously if it's your relative or friend you have to tell them, you'd be a dick if you didn't.
But I can't believe so many people are looking to meddle in other people's situations. Mind your own business, you don't know the situation and you don't know how she will respond if you do tell her.
Keep it to yourself.
But I can't believe so many people are looking to meddle in other people's situations. Mind your own business, you don't know the situation and you don't know how she will respond if you do tell her.
Keep it to yourself.
You know what annoys me, if a guy was being cheated on most people wouldn't hesitate to tell him. but when a girl is getting cheated on some people are like its none of ya business? Make it your business, you'd want to know wouldn't you?!
Original post by yungaheartz
You know what annoys me, if a guy was being cheated on most people wouldn't hesitate to tell him. but when a girl is getting cheated on some people are like its none of ya business? Make it your business, you'd want to know wouldn't you?!
First bit is strange.
& lol, I probably would already know, a lot of people do they just choose not to believe it.
Tell her obv
Hi All,
Just to let you know I plan on telling her today via Facebook. I have screenshots as proof. I gain nothing out of this but I feel it's the safest thing to do for this poor girl.*
Just to let you know I plan on telling her today via Facebook. I have screenshots as proof. I gain nothing out of this but I feel it's the safest thing to do for this poor girl.*
Original post by Subcutaneous
Hi All,
Just to let you know I plan on telling her today via Facebook. I have screenshots as proof. I gain nothing out of this but I feel it's the safest thing to do for this poor girl.*
Just to let you know I plan on telling her today via Facebook. I have screenshots as proof. I gain nothing out of this but I feel it's the safest thing to do for this poor girl.*
Good luck, hope it goes well
Let us know how she reacts to it
Original post by Subcutaneous
Hi All,
Just to let you know I plan on telling her today via Facebook. I have screenshots as proof. I gain nothing out of this but I feel it's the safest thing to do for this poor girl.*
Just to let you know I plan on telling her today via Facebook. I have screenshots as proof. I gain nothing out of this but I feel it's the safest thing to do for this poor girl.*
How enticing
We look forward to the update
Just my advise: Don't tell her; don't get involved. You've removed yourself from the situation which was the right thing to do. Leave it alone and don't look back.
Tell her definitely
Its obviously gonna be her buisness because no girl should be disrespected. What you should ask yourself is
Just out of interest, did you ever tell the girl about her boyfriend cheating? I would want to know and seeing this even made me think about my relationship
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