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Crying until 5am because I'm a disappointment

I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.

As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life.

My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni.

I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life.

I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.

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I don't know how much it will help hearing this from a stranger, but oh my god. The only people that can be called failures are all those people around you. INCLUDING your family. At this very moment, they should've been supportive, not nihilistic about your outcomes.

I always thought that it doesn't matter which uni/college/school you go to, what matters is how you perform while being in it. So you had some issues at A levels, failed the subjects, but hopefully this makes you a better person and makes you learn from the mistakes you've done. Instead of crying over it now, what's done is done, do your best at this university you just got in. This isn't a lost cause yet, you can still prove them all wrong. I wish you the best of luck.

Please take care of yourself!
Original post by Anonymous
I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.

As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life.

My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni.

I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life.

I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.


I'm really sorry that you feel that way :frown: your family should be proud of you regardless of what uni you go to!! I know that you're disappointed, because that's natural. However, don't see this as the end, opportunities will still come up for you, so you will be successful! and you never know, you may enjoy it more than the people at Cambridge. Give it a go, there's many people who can support you if you're not happy, including me. If you ever need to vent or anything, just PM and I'll help :smile:

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Original post by Anonymous
I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.

As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life.

My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni.

I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life.

I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.


why don't you retake brobean?
Reply 4
Avatar for john2054
john2054
6
Original post by Anonymous
I literally feel as if I'm having a mental breakdown. Long story short, I had an offer from Cambridge and I missed it. Like when I opened up my results paper, I literally had U grades across the board. Deep down, I knew my grades were going to be bad (I had a gut feeling I missed my offer because I've had hypochondria this whole year) but I didn't expect them to be THAT bad. So now I'm going to a local uni which isn't even a russell group.

As if that wasn't a slap in the face, I have to deal with my friends and family. My brother said I was 'a **** up who flopped really bad' and I overheard my sister saying to my mum that I'm 'nothing more than a disappointment who can't get anything right'. Then my mum said I can just tell from 'the way I am' that I'll never be successful in life.

My friends were treating me like a failure too. Before I got my grades they told me I was going to be so successful then on results day they were like 'oh you didn't get in? we were looking forward to visiting you at cambridge'. Another found out I was going to a local uni and said 'eeww thats full of wastemen'. Ontop of that some of the girls who I didn't get on with (who are also going to the same uni as me) were literally laughing at the fact that I ended up at that uni.

I try to put on a brave face and tell everyone I'm really happy and idc about not getting into cambridge but deep down it hurts so bad. And it hits me at night and I just cry for hours. I'm having to put on this front when deep down I feel like such a failure. Last night I was crying until 5am. And this morning my sister said to me I need to rethink my career plan (I wanted to do investment banking but because I'm at a non target its going to be very very difficult to break in). I come from a really crap area and I thought going to cambridge and getting a good job would let me get away from this place but I just feel as if I'm going to be stuck here for the rest of my life.

I've literally left the house twice since results day. I've stopped going to the gym or just generally out shopping. I just stay in my room crying. Uni starts in a couple of weeks and I can't even muster up any excitement. I'm struggling so badly to pick myself up again.

How are you going to any uni with u's? I don't understand how this is possible?
Reply 5
Avatar for RooshV
RooshV
1
Why don't you just retake your a levels.

You got an initial offer for a reason
Reply 6
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by john2054
How are you going to any uni with u's? I don't understand how this is possible?

My A2 module grades were mainly U's. I had A's in my AS.
Reply 7
Avatar for john2054
john2054
6
Original post by Anonymous
My A2 module grades were mainly U's. I had A's in my AS.


Sounds bad, what happened did you forget to revise?
Reply 8
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Anonymous
why don't you retake brobean?


Original post by RooshV
Why don't you just retake your a levels.

You got an initial offer for a reason


I have already taken a year out for health reasons so I'm 19 now. I made the decision when I got my results that I wanted to go to uni this yr. I've had the roughest time since starting A levels and really want to put them behind me.
Reply 9
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by john2054
Sounds bad, what happened did you forget to revise?

Hypochondria mixed with complacency=**** grades
Original post by Anonymous
Hypochondria mixed with complacency=**** grades


Did you get therapy for it?
Excuse my french but: SCREW THEM. Literally, just think about it. Once you power through it in five years time you will look back and be able to say I proved you wrong. I had a very difficult time through High School and everyone was telling me how I wouldn't succeed in anything. Now I am going to Uni and looking forward to the future. Keep your head up high and you will come out on top!
Original post by Anonymous
Hypochondria mixed with complacency=**** grades


what uni and degree have you got a place on then?
Original post by AnnaRainbows
Did you get therapy for it?

I had two sessions and she told me to drink chamomile tea and 'confront my fears'..wasn't very helpful at all tbh
Original post by john2054
what uni and degree have you got a place on then?

Economics degree (don't really want to say the uni)
First class grad with zero outlook checking in :wink: Sure you may think you failed but you have plenty of time to get it right. In fact some apprenticeship positions don't care about academic achievement, they only want to see how willing you are to give it your all
Well you may have picked this up already but i can tell you your family are a bunch of d*cks by the way they're acting. Take another year out, work as hard as you can, and get the grades. There's no doubt that your capable, just believe in yourself and do it.
Original post by Anonymous
I had two sessions and she told me to drink chamomile tea and 'confront my fears'..wasn't very helpful at all tbh

Economics degree (don't really want to say the uni)


Economics is quite a good course to get on you know? Knuckle down, put the past behind you, go to all of your lectures, do the readings and pray every sunday would be my advice. University really is a step up from a levels, and this is from someone who has actually passed my degree, okay? thanks!
Ignore your families comments. My family said the same thing about all my cousins (and me) is that we didn't have it in us to work and wouldn't get anywhere. We now all have jobs/are working towards a career of some sort. Your family DO NOT KNOW your future nor can they control it, it is all up to you :smile: Not getting into a uni is dissapointing to you, it does not make YOU a dissapointment. I remember when I got sacked from my first job as I couldnt make sandwiches fast enough. The manager wrote a letter and gave it to my friend to give me, basically everyone knew I'd been sacked before me lol. When I told my mum she said 'you're just a loser arn't you' I'l also remember those words. I'l also remember my mum saying when I was a teenager that if she was me she would slit her throat. My boyfriend has also said that if he was me he would commit suicide (because I don't really like sex and am not the passionate type he thinks there's no point living as i'l never have a normal relationship) Funnily enough he also said the same thing yesterday when he was thinking of breaking up with me. He said 'you might as well go and commit suicide' and it wasn't a full blown argument or anything I was calm and he was doing most of the talking. Maybe I don't want to commit suicide and I'm fairly happy with myself lol. Though when people say that it makes you feel that maybe you shouldn't be. People are too much hassle with their comments and drama, best thing is to just focus on yourself and achieving your goals. You are still young and don't have to succeed in things the first time, learn from mistakes and keep trying.
Failure is the process through which you have to pass to get success. Failure makes you realize your own mistakes and correcting them, these very mistakes become the cause of your success. I want you to hear something, by my ideal personality, about failure:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmbs8ihPrlg


Going through a lot of struggles mean, you are being prepared for something great. Just never give up! Never!
These very people will someday look up to you...Believe in yourself
Good Luck
This was so horrible to read, I feel awful for you. I know there's few things worse than feeling like you've disappointed people including yourself. It sounds like you're surrounded by completely unsupportive people that don't understand the reasons why you may not have done as well as you would've liked to.

Missing out on an opportunity like Cambridge is obviously going to hurt a lot but I really hope that once you've started your degree you come to terms with the fact that it's not the end of the world and you will still be able to achieve great things as long as you work your very hardest at university, which it sounds like you will.

You'll meet lots of new, lovely people at university that won't be so rude and will hopefully be able to show you that you really aren't a disappointment and that you can still be successful. In my opinion, even being able to complete your exams when you were going through such a stressful time is an achievement in itself, you should be proud that you still gave it a shot.

Good luck with everything and I hope you begin to believe in yourself a little more

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