Do I ask her out?

Firstly apologies for how long this is going to be. I'm working in a shop between degrees, and a few weeks ago a woman quite a few years my senior came in and we got talking and immediately seemed to hit it off. It turned out that she's the director of a company, and that she had a friend who runs a company in exactly what I want to do. She offered to meet for coffee so that she could introduce us. I texted her and she sent a friendly text back letting me know that she'd get back in touch about meeting up. The next day, she came into my work with her mum, saying to her mum "this is .... who I was telling you about", also acting nervous and telling me that "I'm surprised that you remember me". Prior to this I hadn't thought of her in a romantic sense, but I got the impression that she was attracted to me from this. The first time I had met her she also commented that my eyes were "lovely" and looked at me wistfully. I'm 99% she's gay from a whole host of factors about her demeanour and appearance (I'm a girl).

Anyway, after this I didn't hear from her for a while, so sent her a text about the meeting, which she didn't respond to. Eventually I emailed, and received a concise professional email which she forwarded to her secretary asking her to try and arrange a time that would be convenient for her and the guy she wanted to introduce me to. I understand that she is very busy and important, having an organisation to run, but it was a striking contrast from the warmth and openness that she exuded with me in person.Fast forward a couple of weeks and she eventually calls me to say she's sorted out a meeting between us and the guy. I immediately notice how awkward and shy and flustered we are with each other. After introducing us both and chatting for a while, she asks if we would like her to leave so that the guy and I can chat about me potentially working for him. I tell her that I'd like her to stay, that it's nice to see her, and lament the fact that she hasn't been into a shop for a while when I've been there. She shyly replies how good it is to see me too, and that she had been in the shop but that I wasn't there at the time. I notice her taking glances at me. She also told the guy "I met ... and was just incredibly impressed by her, and I walked out thinking that an encounter like that doesn't happen everyday". She also joked to him when I was talking that she "wanted to take me home". It was just how awkward/nervous she seemed around me, and I picked up sexual tension vibes between us.

I texted her that evening thanking her for arranging the meeting, and telling her which days I would be in the shop later that week, that she should drop in and say hello if she got the chance. She didn't reply so I just thought I would leave it from then on.Anyway, a couple of days later she did drop into my work specifically to see me (she didn't buy anything). She called my name from the other side of the shop and gave me a big hug and kiss on the cheek when she saw me, and seemed genuinely thrilled to see me. We chatted for a few minutes before she said she'd better go because my boss was glaring at her for chatting too me for too long. So she left and I told her to text me.

Now it is the evening after this encounter, and I want to text her to ask if she would like to go for a drink or a coffee with me sometime. I really feel something between us and would like to get to know her better. The thing is, I feel that I'm getting mixed signals because she seems to either not reply to texts or reply in a purely professional manner, yet is very open and flirty and attentive with me in person. But I feel that there is a chance of something happening if we meet on our own.I know that she has an incredibly high pressured job, and so I don't want to pester her (and I'm also scared of her ignoring me and perceiving me as some annoying kid) but at the same time I really like her and get the strong impression that it's reciprocated. So do I ask her out or not?Sorry for the essay - thanks for sticking with me for this long if you read all of that!

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Somebody please tell me what's going on with this woman :frown:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Foo.mp3

Erm, hello!

Perhaps she's in the closet/taken etc

So do it, absolutely no harm in it whatsoever, and you have a natural in: 'like your company' + 'why don't we meet up someplace my boss isn't going to glare at us'! Nothing in a coffee catch up implies anything untoward, can keep it casual :smile:

Thanks for your reply - I'm just not sure if she's intentionally keeping me at a distance, and if that's the case, I don't want to put myself out there only to be ignored/rejected. Maybe she sees the age gap as an issue.

Reply 3

tinashe dongo

her story is.............

Reply 4

999tigger

I'd leave it for a few days she knows where you are. If you havent heard back this week then text her again at the weekend so the invite is open. You have to think about whether you have read it right. You should go for it if its what you want.

Dod you get the work experience or job with this other person? be careful of mixing business with pelasure.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by tinashe dongo

her story is.............

TLDR: Older gay woman, mixed signals, do I ask her out or not?

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by 999tigger

Yeah, I thought I should probably leave it for a few days and then maybe text her towards the end of the week. No, she was just introducing me to a friend who I may be doing work for in the future - I wouldn't be working for her.

Do I ask her out?

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