The Student Room Group

I'm only interested in a guy when they show no interest in me?

As soon as a guy tells me they like me back or asks me out my interest in them goes down and I go off them completely. It's like I like the chase of getting a guy but once I have them, it's like oh and I just feel underwhelmed. How do I make this stop? If this carries on I fear I'll end up alone forever if I keep distancing myself from a guy the minute they show interest back
A lot of women are like this tbh. Never be too keen, that's always been my mantra.
Get some cats
Do I care enough to comment? :nothing:
Reply 4
Original post by plsn0ban2 *_*
Do I care enough to comment? :nothing:

Yes you do
Original post by Anonymous
Yes you do


I'm sorry but you have not met the requirements for a stimulating conversation.

So adieu. :bebored:
Original post by Anonymous
x


Making boys and girls think it's a good thing not talk to each other since 1995 :P


Probably should get some respect for the boys you're getting to chase you and then dropping them. Leading people on is generally ill advised. Might be better to think of something other than your fragile ego...


SS
Reply 7
Original post by Supersaps
Making boys and girls think it's a good thing not talk to each other since 1995 :P


Probably should get some respect for the boys you're getting to chase you and then dropping them. Leading people on is generally ill advised. Might be better to think of something other than your fragile ego...


SS


I can't help it! I end up not even being able to bring myself to talk to them or meet up with them, almost repelled by them...
That's what baffles me because before they show an interest, I'm so into them like practically infatuated and all I think of is them, then when I see interest, I just go meh and distance myself
Weird, i'm a girl and the opposite is true. A guy who clearly isn't interested is a huge turnoff and I stop trying. Do you get alot of male attention? You're probably used to men being interested in you all the time so when he isn't it's different and catches your attention. That might explain it abit
Original post by Anonymous
x


You can't control your emotions, I agree. You can, however, control your actions. Might be worth going on a couple of dates with them to see if it the emotions come back even if you're not feeling much?

What do you think are the underlying causes of this? Is it that you're insecure so you just like being chased? Do you worship boys and the reality is always a disappointment? Do you just get scared shitless by any thought of commitment or a relationship?


SS
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
As soon as a guy tells me they like me back or asks me out my interest in them goes down and I go off them completely. It's like I like the chase of getting a guy but once I have them, it's like oh and I just feel underwhelmed. How do I make this stop? If this carries on I fear I'll end up alone forever if I keep distancing myself from a guy the minute they show interest back



I am like this too to an extent, although probably not as bad as you.
If I am chatting up a random girl and it seems like she likes me back, a lot of time i will suddenly start having second thoughts a grow somewhat less attracted to them.

If you ever find out to make it stop, do let me know.

Also I find it more satisfying to hit on a girl [try and pick a partner], then for a girl to hit on me [try and pick me] , even if the girls are equal in beauty and personality.
Original post by Supersaps
You can't control your emotions, I agree. You can, however, control your actions. Might be worth going on a couple of dates with them to see if it the emotions come back even if you're not feeling much?

What do you think are the underlying causes of this? Is it that you're insecure so you just like being chased? Do you worship boys and the reality is always a disappointment? Do you just get scared shitless by any thought of commitment or a relationship?


SS


It's a combination of disappointment and scared of a relationship, but more so scared of a relationship, I feel like there'll be too much pressure if you're in one
Original post by Anonymous
It's a combination of disappointment and scared of a relationship, but more so scared of a relationship, I feel like there'll be too much pressure if you're in one


That's where my advice runs out, I'm afraid. Sounds like you've got some sort of mental emergency brake that you subconsciously pull when things get intense.

I will, however say that true intimacy involves complete trust and not being afraid.
I used to be like this, you need to grow out of this phase asap, you're going to miss out on a lot of good guys.
Original post by xobeauty
I used to be like this, you need to grow out of this phase asap, you're going to miss out on a lot of good guys.


How did you get out of this phase?
Omg this is me! I thought I was the only one. I'm probably going end up alone.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 16
I can see you becoming a cat lady.
Totally normal babe.

You do you. If a guy doesn't like that then he's not worth it.

Nothing to worry about OP x
Original post by Anonymous
How did you get out of this phase?


Regrets knocked me out of it, but mostly maturing. The good guys will be all taken by the time you decide to mature, just snap out of it now...I know, you can't help it.

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending