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Is it wrong to date a girl with Down syndrome?

I saw some pictures some time back which went viral of a guy taking a girl to a high school prom, the guy was good looking and normal, the girl had down syndrome

In one of the pictures the guy was in a passionate embrace with the girl. Apparently the guy was in love with the girl and this was backed up with quotes.

Is such a relationship even right?
I would have thought this sort of thing would be illegal due to her diminished mental capacity.

I had a Down syndrome girl hit on me once many years ago. I turned her down.

was I being prejudice in turning her down?

Reply 1

UWS

21

If you're happy and you like the girl then why not?

Reply 2

ANM775

OP

20

Original post by I8myselfie

The question is: Why would you even want to?

lol, i didn't want to. I didn't find her attractive in the slightest ...but seeing that prom story got me thinking if it was morally right or not

Reply 3

Ezme39

19

Not all people with Down's syndrome have diminished capacity to the extent you are suggesting. It very much depends on the individual, and your judgement. If both individuals are happy, and understanding of the situation, then it doesn't need to be a 'barrier'. She is still a person with feelings

Reply 4

beth-robinson99

13

Original post by ANM775

Is such a relationship even right?
I would have thought this sort of thing would be illegal due to her diminished mental capacity.

i personally think whats wrong is questioning the fact whether a girl - who cannot help having down syndrome - should not be allowed to date 'normal' guys who are considered good looking.
she's a human being and therefore has liberty to do what she wants, likewise with the guy.
i really kinda hope that this question is a joke because i myself feel sorry for those with down syndrome because they didn't choose to have it? nor did their parents choose to create a baby with down syndrome if you will.

i'm sorry its just my opinion but everyone is equal and deserves the chance to date who they want right? i see it a bit like saying "fred can't date her because she's asian that's not allowed their kids might be half asian". i know it isnt racism like that but it's still discrimination. it is the couples choice if they want to bring a baby into the world knowing the risks...and friends ad family should be there to support whatever decision they make..

Reply 5

Ezme39

19

Original post by I8myselfie

The question is: Why would you even want to?

Sure there are difficulties, and I'm assuming you're thinking of appearance too- but if she had a really nice personality, can you not see a situation where a man may make the extra effort? Entirely depending on the people and situation

Reply 6

EllainKahlo

17

Morally right? It depends on any person's mental state. Down syndrome or not, there have been cases in the news about people marrying or dating individual's with diminished capabilities and they've been ordered not to do certain things with them (like marry them, take them abroad etc) because they can't consent or have the capacity to understand what is actually happening. I think it depends entirely on the individual's abilities, what they can and can't do and can and can't understand.

Other than that, sounds quite sweet to me :smile:

And unless you're taking advantage of someone, I can't see how it would be morally wrong or illegal.

Reply 7

stirkee

19

why would it be immoral :confused:

Reply 8

username1539513

21

Original post by ANM775

I saw some pictures some time back which went viral of a guy taking a girl to a high school prom, the guy was good looking and normal, the girl had down syndrome

In one of the pictures the guy was in a passionate embrace with the girl. Apparently the guy was in love with the girl and this was backed up with quotes.

Is such a relationship even right?
I would have thought this sort of thing would be illegal due to her diminished mental capacity.

I had a Down syndrome girl hit on me once many years ago. I turned her down.

was I being prejudice in turning her down?

Reply 9

InArduisFouette

21

Original post by Ezme39

Not all people with Down's syndrome have diminished capacity to the extent you are suggesting. It very much depends on the individual, and your judgement. If both individuals are happy, and understanding of the situation, then it doesn't need to be a 'barrier'. She is still a person with feelings

exactly

it's all about ' Mental Capacity' in it's legal defintion , if someone with downs ( or any other health issue ) has sufficient understanding and mental capacity then there is no legal or moral impediment ...

Reply 10

Luke7456

20

i think what op is getting at, is whether or not it is exploitative or taking advantage of the girl who may not have the same level of maturity to consent to this.

In that regard it depends on the mental state of not just the girl but the guy as well. Is he doing this because he thinks the girl will be easy to manipulate due to lower intelligence, thus an easier lay? If that was the reason I would say yes it is highly immoral.

However it appears in the example given that the guy was in love with the girl, and I really don't think that is immoral at all. whilst I am sure it would put other guys off, it is really none of their business. I am not attracted to guys but if two guys want to get it on with each other what do I care? In regards to the girls ability to consent in all honesty I am not an expert on down syndrome so it is hard for me to say, if the girl really is unable to understand and consent then that is an issue. However we are not the only species that can have consensual sex. As far as I am aware someone with down syndrome still has more intellectual capacity then any none human animal on this planet. Therefore if they both love each other what is the problem?

Reply 11

ANM775

OP

20

Original post by stirkee

why would it be immoral :confused:

The girl who hit on me was 12, I was 10. [we were in the same class]

mentally she was not even 10 and had to be helped with literally everything. She really wanted a bf and hit on quite a few guys but no one would date her. Thinking about it now i feel sorry for her ... but then due to her diminished mental capacity I wonder if someone with full mental capacity should not be dating her ....., in the way most people would say a 20 year old guy shouldn't be dating a 13 year old girl because he's mentally much more developed than her and could be taking advantage

Reply 12

stirkee

19

Original post by ANM775

The girl who hit on me was 12, I was 10. [we were in the same class]

mentally she was not even 10 and had to be helped with literally everything. She really wanted a bf and hit on quite a few guys but no one would date her. Thinking about it now i feel sorry for her ... but then due to her diminished mental capacity I wonder if someone with full mental capacity should not be dating her ....., in the way most people would say a 20 year old guy shouldn't be dating a 13 year old girl because he's mentally much more developed than her and could be taking advantage

Oh I kinda see what you mean now

I think it does depend to an extent on the specific situation. Just because they have down syndrome doesn't mean they're a complete and utter idiot who should be banished to only date others like them. Its clearly not immoral to date someone who has down syndrome just because they have down syndrome. It would be immoral if they were doing so to take advantage... but that's a different question. Then its a case of is it immoral to take advantage (yes.. obviously).

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 13

pairofjeans

9

Original post by stirkee

why would it be immoral :confused:

Well we could use an SJW argument that's relevant for once. They aren't in the right state of mind to consent to everything. They're mentally handicapped and therefore could be taken advantage of.

Original post by beth-robinson99

i'm sorry its just my opinion but everyone is equal and deserves the chance to date who they want right? i see it a bit like saying "fred can't date her because she's asian that's not allowed their kids might be half asian". i know it isnt racism like that but it's still discrimination..

That analogy is horrible though. Racists don't have any logic behind their reasonings. But there's clear logic behind why dating someone with down syndrome would be seen as wrong.

Reply 14

stirkee

19

Original post by pairofjeans

Well we could use an SJW argument that's relevant for once. They aren't in the right state of mind to consent to everything. They're mentally handicapped and therefore could be taken advantage of.

See my post above. The immorality in your example is not inherent in the dating someone with a mental disability, its in the choice of the person without the disability to take advantage of them.

Like I said, dating someone with a mental disability is surely not itself immoral.

Reply 15

username402722

19

Original post by Ezme39

Not all people with Down's syndrome have diminished capacity to the extent you are suggesting. It very much depends on the individual, and your judgement. If both individuals are happy, and understanding of the situation, then it doesn't need to be a 'barrier'. She is still a person with feelings

Well put. There is a young man with Down's Syndrome who comes to the local pub I go to from time to time who is an intelligent person.

Reply 16

pairofjeans

9

Original post by stirkee

See my post above. The immorality in your example is not inherent in the dating someone with a mental disability, its in the choice of the person without the disability to take advantage of them.

Like I said, dating someone with a mental disability is surely not itself immoral.

But the post isn't about "mental disabilities". We all know how much they can vary depending on type.

The thread is specific to down syndrome. In which case, I'd argue that it's always immoral.

Reply 17

stirkee

19

Original post by pairofjeans

But the post isn't about "mental disabilities". We all know how much they can vary depending on type.

The thread is specific to down syndrome. In which case, I'd argue that it's always immoral.

The disability itself is irrelevant.

It is not itself immoral to date someone with down's syndrome. Why is it immoral to date them if you truly love them, will treat them with respect etc etc? I'm pretty sure I saw someone with down's on the undateables earlier this year, I don't for one second think it would have been immoral to date her?

As a question, what exactly is immoral about it?

Reply 18

beth-robinson99

13

Original post by pairofjeans

That analogy is horrible though. Racists don't have any logic behind their reasonings. But there's clear logic behind why dating someone with down syndrome would be seen as wrong.

i said it was a bad example but it could be seen as discrimination still especially if the person in question has a strong mental state. i understand your reasoning yes if they're not so strong and don't understand as much then they can't give consent to small things let alone bigger things. nonetheless, i feel that if the person in question can consent to ideas then why put them down? if they can put together the concept of a date and consent to it then there's no reason boys can't ask her on a date?