The Student Room Group

Once I turn 18 do I have to show my parents my school report? (hypothetical)

This is hypothetical. I have no problem with showing my parents my report. I go to a private school, and a parent/guardian is usually required to sign a report as proof that they have read it. However, once I turn 18, surely if I rather them not knowing about my studies, they shouldn't know. Is it not personal information? An employer wouldn't send an employee's progress report to their parents. Are over 18s not in charge of their own progress. Let's say in another hypothetical scenario a 20 year old who lives on his own returns to school to finish sixth form. It might be the school's internal rules that parents must sign reports (pretty sure this isn't in any code of conduct private schools make you sign) but would they make the 20 year old who no longer lives with his parents go find them to get it signed. No. What's the difference with an 18 year old?
Another similarly themed question: private schools may require boys to have hair length not to be what they consider "long". I know at my school (from personal experience) that we are told to cut our hair if it's too long, and that some are suspended if their hair is too short. Unlike growing a beard, which in some religions is important, there's no necessity to grow long hair in any religions (maybe Islam?, but these men often cover their heads). Does that mean your personal beliefs count for nothing. If you had a strong belief that long hair was spirtitually important, or if you felt long hair is a key part of masculinity, or that you growing long hair is a sign of your dedication to the devil or something :/ do these views not count for something? It may be that in our culture it is the norm for men to have short hair and the school wants people to look smart as defined by what's smart right now, but that doesn't mean that a slightly older culture you prefer is no less valid. In the 60s it was usual for school boys to have very long hair. Just because times have changed doesn't mean you have to keep up.
If you've got nothing to hide, what's the problem?


(TL,DR)
Reply 2
Will depend on the college but when I turned 19 I turned parental contact/mailing "off" for my college studies, so my parents had no involvement with it.
Reply 3
Original post by HelpusPleasus
If you've got nothing to hide, what's the problem?


(TL,DR)


It's about the principle. My parents have no need to know. I am responsible for my self. And as I said, the question's hypothetical.
Reply 4
It will probably still be sent to your parents. Sounds like you're making a mountain out of a molehill with this.

Also, the hair and beard thing? Schools enforce that rule due to hygiene rules.
Original post by Cyan_Ink1
It's about the principle. My parents have no need to know. I am responsible for my self. And as I said, the question's hypothetical.


Your parents care for you and have raised you for the last 18 something years. Don't they deserve to be part of the process?
Look at it from their perspective- Why shouldn't they be involved?
Reply 6
Original post by HelpusPleasus
Your parents care for you and have raised you for the last 18 something years. Don't they deserve to be part of the process?
Look at it from their perspective- Why shouldn't they be involved?


I see where you're coming from, they have a shared interest in your future.
Original post by Cyan_Ink1
It's about the principle. My parents have no need to know. I am responsible for my self. And as I said, the question's hypothetical.


You might be interested to know that we wrote our Year 13 reports to the student themselves for this very reason.

Students did not have long hair in school in the 1960s and I know of people expelled in the 1970s for refusing to cut their hair - one now lectures at Oxford!
Aside from what has already been said, since it's a private school and they're paying for you to go, do they not have a right to see how well their money is being spent?
Reply 9
Original post by Airmed
It will probably still be sent to your parents. Sounds like you're making a mountain out of a molehill with this.

Also, the hair and beard thing? Schools enforce that rule due to hygiene rules.


As I said, I have no problem with sharing my report to my parents and I have no plan to deny them this in the future. I was just considering the whole parent-school dynamic and whether someone who is very distant from their parents could effectively be independent when it comes to school. In retrospect it was a bit of a pointless question.

As for the hair and beard. There should be nothing unhygienic with regards to a male having long hair. It's a matter of perceptions, which aren't neccesarily a valid reason to deny male students long hair. Males have as much right to long hair as females, but our society dictates short hair on men is the norm, and that's what a private shcool would go with when deciding what's smart and unsmart.
Mine haven't seen mine since like year 8.

Posted from TSR Mobile
IIRC when you're 18, maybe even when you're 16, the legal responsibility to get education is on you rather than your parents. I doubt the school would do very much if you didn't get your parents to sign it or you forged their signature and it was obvious that it's a forgery. I can't imagine there's any legal requirement for your parent to see a school report anyway.

Like other posters have said I'd show my parents because it was the right thing to do rather than because I need to especially if I went to a public school. But it's your choice.*
Once your parents signature is no longer required then you don't need to show your report to them if you don't want to.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Now that you are 18, your parents could hypothetically kick you out of their house, so I would play nicely.
Original post by Cyan_Ink1
I go to a private school, and a parent/guardian is usually required to sign a report as proof that they have read it.


It isn't a question of rights or age. Regardless of your age, a contract will be in place between your family and the private school which deals with discipline and the other matters you refer to. If you fail to pay the fees or to meet the school rules you will be in breach of contract and likely to suffer (probably expulsion) because of it.

Private schools tend to be ruthless at keeping out those they deem to be lowering disciplinary standards; they have to be if they wish to keep the school's standards up and attract more customers.
Who's paying? Your parents.

There's your answer.

If you don't like it then drop out and go to a state school or FE college.

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