Hello OP and to everyone having a hard time during freshers!
You seem to be me in the first time of moving in!
I didn't live in halls...space ran out...Instead I was in a massive house full of 21 including myself. This was the start to an incredibly tough year...socially not academically.
I was actually the 2nd person to come to the house...I call it the rave house...which held 3 parties and were all shut down by police...they cut the power down. 300 people attended...I never got involved and tried to sleep through it but when your house is vibrating its serious stuff. My housemates were filthy and had no home training. The landlord was threatening to kick us out by christmass...CHRISTMAS!!!
Before starting. I was like you, ready for change and wanting to be out of my comfort zone. Incredibly friendly yet riddled with Anxiety like you. I take tablets. The first day last year I was so ready...but that got shut down by one of the 20 housemates who completely dismissed my existence. Very similar to how you felt when you put yourself out there and they couldn't be bothered to try.
To top it off I left the house to pick up some things in IKEA...got back the evening everyone was there and talking. the moment I walked in they just stared at me and laughed. From there I couldn't walk to the kitchen, my parents bought me a microwave and from there on I was living off microwave meals. couldn't bare to log in on social media and see everyone had their "SQUAD" I cried for about 2 months but you will learn that being in your own company is quite nice.
Everytime a group of them were by my door...banging it and running away or chatting to the guy next door. I got intensive panic attacks and managing it on your own with your parents on skype is hell. My parents never knew how much I suffered until They heard it all on skype.
that is a little bit to my hell.
For you...I would say continue doing what you are doing...you will find the people you fall into place with. Don't be forceful to want to be people's friends if they are not with you. DO NOT BE SURPRISED IF YOU DON'T SEE A PERSON YOU MET AGAIN...it always happens.
Plus always contact your friends from back home...the close ones of course. some people are evil and love to hear you are feeling crap!
I was a person...never invited to anything at school but labelled the 'nice, sweet girl' I thought just be myself...oh how I was wrong! Don't listen to people who say 'just be yourself' its true in the long term but its not the case. I am not saying be outrageous...just be watchful of others behaviour because no one is being themselves.
people will turn away from me the moment I say 'I don't drink, smoke, club, sleep around anything'
STICK TO YOUR GUNS AND STICK WITH THE BELIEFS YOU HAD BEFORE YOU ARRIVED. DON'T FORGET ALL YOUR HOME TRAINING. UNI IS A BUBBLE!!
I found my friend on my course...yes friend...not friendsss. sometimes the large friendships are incredibly superficial...those friendship groups are not ones where you can have deep conversations. I always crack jokes but you need a group of friends that you can have deep talks about even the strangest things and then laugh about it! not to forget to support each other!
KEEP YOUR CIRCLE SMALL...don't trust straight away but you will learn.
this could be at a society, sport club, at work...even the library. the library helped me distract my loneliness. I stay in my uni studio I made a few friends from the years above and they were lovely. Yes its the stereotypical "Why don't you join a society?" I hated that advice too because people stuck with their squad and did a hell of a lot of starring than communicating! but you never know where you will find someone who will be your 'ride or die person'
every loss is a blessing in disguise!
I hope you look back and think...yes I struggled but look how high I have risen.
Don't let those horrid characters define your experience like they did to me!
you go in with the confidence you had before. You sound like a lovely person who will bloom it takes time!
you will learn how to manage your anxiety and I really hope it works out for you. hope it gets better