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girl and I both really like each other but she doesnt want to lose her friends

Basically this girl just moved here and started hanging out with me and my friends. From the moment we first met we had a strong connection and it's been obvious that we like each other but for some reason she's been holding back. Last night she told my friend that she likes me but doesn't want to do anything with me because she just got this friendship group and doesn't want to lose it.

i think I'm going to speak to her when we go to a concert we are going to alone but I don't really know what I can say to convince her take a chance. I just think it's dumb when we both clearly have a strong attraction to each other.

Is there anything I can do it should I just give up?*

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Are you by any chance gay

Reply 2

VladThe1mpaler

Original post by Anonymous

Are you by any chance gay

it's times like these I wish we could still give negative ratings to people who post unhepful, unfunny and dumb shit*

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Are you by any chance gay

Is this a reference to the girl's crush getting a gf thread?

Bump

Are you familiar with the song 'Skater Boy' by Avril Lavigne? That song will pretty much summarise what happens when you let your friends dictate who you have relationships with.

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Reply 6

VladThe1mpaler

Original post by Moonstruck16

Haha I am familiar with the song. However it's not that friends disapprove, it's that she's thinking if we start seeing each other and things don't work out then she will lose her new friends (since they were my friends first).*

Reply 7

VladThe1mpaler

Original post by Foo.mp3

To which you tell her that's ok, we can take things slow. Then hang out, have fun together, pick a faintly romantic moment, and hit her with passion like a ton of bricks. #Winning

So should I even talk to her about it?Should I actually say something like "my friend told me what you said and I totally get where you're coming from. But I think there is something between us as more than friends. Let's just take things slow etc. etc." Or should I just wait things out? I just kind of feel the longer I leave it unsaid the more she will begins just see me as a friend. I don't really know what to say. I'm seeing her after uni classes today and was thinking of saying something because I feel like I can't wait until Sunday to say something.

Reply 8

VladThe1mpaler

Original post by Foo.mp3

I wouldn't necessarily tell her that your mutual friend told you. I'd just advance things as if you'd never heard a thing but be ready with a line like the one I gave you should she protest :smile:

Never a good idea, unless you're a total boss/completely happy playing the long game, and potentially drawing a blank

Correct assessment, albeit that this does not mean you rush anything. Always keep your approach silky smooth :top2:

Take a deep breath. This girl's not going anywhere. You have the start of a fine connection, remember that, she's a cutey but she's just another human being. You have a lot to offer too, so never put pussy on a pedestal, ok. Stay frosty, and good luck!

ok cool, thanks a lot for the advice

she did say when we all had a drunk discussion about relationships that its always better being a friend first so i think the "take it slow" thing will go down well with her.

Is spending too much time together an issue? We have been spending a lot of time together since we've been going out as a group almost every night and i see her at uni/have been out just the two of us a couple of times. But she is basically in constant communication with me, messaging me 20 mins after we just saw each other and almost all throughout the day etc. so i think that's a good sign.