We don't need "friends", we need good grades.

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I hate this myth that we need "friends" in life.
I say we don't.
My advice to everyone in here is focus 100% on your studies, don't talk or go out with anyone.
Study all week, including weekends and holidays.
Don't ever go out with anyone , sit home and study.
What is important in life is good grades not "friends".

This is a really good plan if your intention is to have a nervous breakdown and develop psychological problems.

Reply 61

math42

Original post by robertpiktos

I have literally 0 friends, and to be honest it doesn't bother me.
Why should I be ashamef of being alone, because the myth says that we need friends?.

Humans are social animals. We don't need social interaction technically, in that not having it won't kill us, it is just very beneficial. Sort of like exercise, I suppose..

Reply 62

Siberiaan

Original post by Plagioclase

This is a really good plan if your intention is to have a nervous breakdown and develop psychological problems.

Reply 63

loveleest

I can understand see where the OP is coming from tbh.
I mean yeah, sure having friends can be convenient at times but I don't understand why some people's main priorities are making friends?
I made a bunch of friends of sixth form that I haven't seen or contacted once this summer. It can be a waste of time making some friendships.

Reply 64

robertpiktos

Original post by 999tigger

Come on OP dont be shy.

I am not shy.
I haven't got any friends for 10 years.
And I am not ashamed to admit it.

I am goinh out against the notion that we need "friends" - a concept I hate and do not believe in at all - to be happy.

Reply 65

Moonstruck16

Original post by loveleest

That's because you've never madr any true friends. I have true friends and the feeling you get knowing that they are true friends would make you glad you bothered.

That being said, making relationships is any easy part. A true test of character is how well you can keep them, which is probably something you can relate with. Obviously it must work both ways though.

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Reply 66

Mjauuajm

It flat out looks like you are so hurt about your own inability to make friends that you try to reclaim power by ''rejecting'' friendships.

Reply 67

fnsb

Original post by robertpiktos

No offense, but it sounds like you struggle socially and you're trying to put other people down to make yourself feel better about it.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 68

Terrobility

Not having a life would drive me into a deep spiral of depression. Find the right people and you'll be happy. Not everyone works 24/7 in order to come out with good grades. You can learn how to balance your education and your social life.

Reply 69

Trapz99

Original post by robertpiktos

Alright, be a loner if you want

Reply 70

DDan123

But but..... What if you have both?????

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Reply 71

username1935547

I disagree and agree. Firstly, I don't think that having friends or not corrolates with good or bad grades. For example, I got good grades during my gcses and early years of A-levels during a time I had friends (i don't know if said friends would even count in the eyes of others here because I only talked to them exclusively at school). When I lost the friends my grades dipped and that has been the case for a long while because I found myself stressed out about having no friends and dealing with social anxiety from the lack of socialisation I was doing and worrying so much about looking like some kind of loser loner.

Know I have realised it doesn't matter and I should have never let such feelings get in the way of my progress at school and focus on myself rather than my misery. I have since pretty much overcome social anxiety, however I still feel the need to be constantly social is unessary and draining. But I can still have some sort of conversation with people normally so there is no problem and I don't condone the idea of having friends, I just hate suffocating friends and being in withing giant friendship groups.

A bit of an essay I've written here but this is just from my own personal experience.

Reply 72

robertpiktos

Original post by Trapz99

Alright, be a loner if you want

It's not about being a loner.

It's just I don't think we need so called "friends" in life.

Reply 73

9091student

Original post by eternaforest

There's far more important things in life than getting good grades m8, like getting a good night's w-a-n-k for starters

be my bestfriend pls LOOOOOL

Reply 74

Trapz99

Original post by robertpiktos

It's not about being a loner.

It's just I don't think we need so called "friends" in life.

What are you going to do without friends? Like are you just going to live life on your own?

Reply 75

Sorani

I sense a lot of bitterness in this post.

It's okay if people don't like you, now that the internet exists you can spend all day furiously typing about your superiority to all those around you, periodically taking breaks to cry into your keyboard.

Reply 76

Tiva4Eva

In my experience,it's all about compromise. I used to value my grades over my friends, but I was never really happy with that. I thought I was happy, at the time. Eventually though one of these friends, one I didn't really value, dragged me outside to hang out with some of her other friends. It took me a while but I started going outside to hang out with them at lunch instead of working in the library, I made friends when I played my sports (instead of just being the loner among my teammates) and I became happier for it. I spent a lot of time over the summer debating if I would have gotten better A level grades if I had ditched my friends to revise... or if I had never made them. I concluded I might have, but I also might not. My mental happiness would have been worse and I would have spent the whole summer worrying about my grades. In reality I probably could have bumped up one of my grades if I had no friends, but my friends also helped my revision in that same subject so maybe not. Without my friends I don't think I'd be who I am today, and I don't think I'd still be enjoying my sport as much. I learnt a lot about myself when having the debate. And when I had no friends(/ friends that I wasn't that close to) a few years ago I wasn't actually a nice person. I was selfish and bossy and I put others down when I had no right to. I was antisocial and rude. My friends taught me a lot about the world, that no book or grade could have taught me. I am still shy and prefer reading to going to a party. BUT I will go out and have fun as well as have my alone time. I enjoy my sport a lot more as I actually get on with my teammates instead of put up with them and I accept winning isn't everything. It's up to you,if you think grades are more important it's your life. But personally I think you are missing out on experiences no book can teach you. Even the most introverted individual needs someone to talk to... If you spend all your life worrying about grades and success, you're missing half the journey and the fun. And should you fail (I am not saying you will... although everyone fails at something at some point) you will have no one to turn to.

Reply 77

shawn_o1

Don't listen to OP, it's clear that hasn't worked for me (a first class grad with a job that lasted only 3 months).
Yeah, commitment to grades is nice but in school most people commit out of obligation and still succeed. Grades do not separate the boring from the innovative.

Reply 78

RandomStudent890

LOL What about work and that £££ Mulla

Reply 79

Amynadia0033

There's also the fact that if you don't learn how to socialise with people you'll falter at the first interview you come across, undermining your academic success. Putting all your emotions into one thing is never a good idea, what happens when you inevitably have an off day in an exam and mess it up? It happens to everyone at some point.I think there's a profound issue of priorities here. Being alone on my deathbed, even if I have a long string of academic successes, with no meaningful shared experiences to look back on, and no one with me sounds horrible. Also, you talk about raising your children with this mentality- how are these children going to exist if you don't leave the house and, y'know, befriend and date another human?