I'm pregnant, what should I do?

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You have to put your own interests first before you consider raising a child..if you're not stable to support yourself, how can you support someone else?

I considered this, that is why the best option for the child would be to be adopted shortly after birth.

Reply 41

cucumberhater

Original post by Anonymous

Hello. I am an 18 years old female. I found out that I was pregnant today and I'm under a month in. During the time I was with my ex and on the day that we did decide not to use a condom (very stupidly), I took a morning after pill so I thought I was safe but in the past week or so I've been getting symptoms and a lack of period that made me go to the clinic today.

I've decided that I want an abortion because of how many cons there are to pros. I know my parents would not be supportive at all, I'm not financially stable, I literally JUST got my education and my career back on track (Finally found something that I'm passionate about and have a placement secured and the next 5 years planned incl uni) AND my ex does not even want a relationship with me let alone a baby so I would feel like I'm forcing him into a situation he doesn't want to be in and I wouldn't want that feeling for the next who knows years WITH a child. I also want to make sure my child grows up in a loving environment with lots of stability and happiness and I don't think I can provide that right now.

On the other hand I just have these strong maternal instincts that I just can't shake and my heart keeps telling me to keep it. How do I deal with this emotional side of things whilst getting an abortion?

Just do as your heat desires. If you aren't ready for a baby, then you always consider the option of putting the child for adoption. Just remember that people around have/are going through the same path as you right now. As for abortion, it's your baby, your body. And even if you do find yourself feeling like crap, then there is help availiable to you like counselling sessions, family and friends. Or maybe watch Youtube videos/read book on how to deal w the Emotional stress in regards to aborting the baby?

idk, i hope i helped somehow and good luck! :smile:

Reply 42

cherryred90s

Original post by ANM775

I considered this, that is why the best option for the child would be to be adopted shortly after birth.

There's nothing wrong with adoption, but it shouldn't be forced. If the woman doesn't want to continue pregnancy only to give the baby away then she shouldn't have to.

Reply 43

KingLhasaApso

The reasons you give for not wanting a baby yet are very sensible. I had an abortion at 17, I'm now 36 and sometimes I still feel sad about it, but my situation then was similar to what youve described yours as now, I dont regret my decision though, it wasnt right for me either. Think carefully about what is right for you and dont let anyone push you in either direction. Good luck

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Reply 44

Anonymous #4

Original post by Anonymous

Well, if the morning after pill didn't work an abortion may not work ( it happens). So prepare to look after a baby.

Reply 45

Anna.Karenina

Message me if you need to - I'm a single mum going into my final year. My studies haven't suffered, and whilst it's been hard, I've never been happier being a mother to the most wonderful little boy in the world :smile:

I considered an abortion, but in reality, I knew I could never go through with it.

Despite what people who have never actually been in the situation themselves say, if you do want to have the baby, your life is not over and you will be fine, and a great mother.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 46

TrotskyiteRebel

Original post by cherryred90s

Having an abortion doesn't make you a murderer. You have no right to tell someone what they should do with their body

I understand that abortion is a controversial issue and we must tolerate other people's opinion. Unfortunately, by law she is totally entitled to make a choice whether or not to abort the baby and I wasn't arguing about that. I was just giving her my opinion on what to do.
The question is to be or not to be? And I totally belive that being is better than not being no matter how unpleasant it could be which it wont by the way. We are privileged enough to live in one of richest countries in the world with free healthcare, education, child support and so on. I think it is selfish to kill another human being because of yourself and your good. The baby deserves to have opportunities in life just as much she deserves to. What if the baby was in the way of her life after birth? Can she kill her then also?
Abortion is a selfish behaviour and I don't think she will ever be able to forgive herself.

Reply 47

Rum Ham

Original post by Anonymous

Well, if the morning after pill didn't work an abortion may not work ( it happens). So prepare to look after a baby.

This isn't true or at the very, very least highly unlikely. The morning after pill is essentially a very high dosage of what you would take if you were taking 'the pill' every day whereas the pills used in the abortion process are totally different both in the ingredients and the action of the tablets. Saying the abortion might fail because the morning after pill failed is like saying morphine wont take your pain away because paracetamol didn't which is nonsense since they both work in different ways are are of different potency.

Reply 48

KingLhasaApso

You clearly are lacking in emotional intelligence. Go away troll.

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Reply 49

Blackstarr

How about adoption. ?

Reply 50

TrotskyiteRebel

Original post by cherryred90s

There's nothing wrong with adoption, but it shouldn't be forced. If the woman doesn't want to continue pregnancy only to give the baby away then she shouldn't have to.

We're talking about a human being here. It's not her body, it's someone else body that relies on her body for 9 months. What ****ing choice? Having a baby, having someone to love, is the most beautiful thing in the world. Abortion is not an answer. There are some amazing couples out there who can't have babies and get pregnant, what can be more kind than to let them a baby tbrough adoption? If she decides not to keep the baby.

Reply 51

Anonymous #5

Original post by alexp98

Point in trying to make is it's fine if she doesn't want it and aborting would make her happy. But don't use poor excuses because there has been and always will be millions of parents who have raised an unexpected child in good conditions, despite the socio economic circumstances.

True. However, OP is young and looking forward to education, and has stated that she doesn't have support from her parents or the father - so this would be a far from ideal situation.
You call these 'excuses', but they are very valid reasons. If she wanted the baby enough, she could probably made it work out, but the suggestion is that she is unsure from the outset.

Run, far away.

Original post by TrotskyiteRebel

'Free healthcare, education, child support'. Have you not been listening to the news?
'Opportunities in life'. Ah yes, the kid could have a good life with its mother and grow up to be a decent person...Or it will be born to a mother that doesn't want it and whose life is now ruined. Or it could end up in the foster system and let's face it, that doesn't have the best reputation and outcomes.

The baby has not been born and right now is essentially the equivalent of a parasite or a tumour. Abortion is not always selfish, in many cases yes, but not in all. OP could have this child now and her life and the kid's could be one of misery, or she could have an abortion, get her life together and later on have a child who is actually wanted and can be cared for. She was stupid to get pregnant and that will be her regret, but I doubt she'd regret the abortion. She'll forgive herself once she has a better life.

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Reply 54

Danny the Geezer

Original post by Blackstarr

How about adoption. ?

That would mean delivering the baby, forming an emotional bond etc she may theen decide to keep it.

Reply 55

Anonymous #5

Original post by TrotskyiteRebel

There are lots of children who need adopting or fostering already. OP is lucky to be able to have children, but she should not feel pressured to do so because others are less fortunate.

Reply 56

Moonstruck16

Original post by Blackstarr

How about adoption. ?

If she's having issues with maternal instincts now, even though she knows which decision is right for her, I really doubt adoption is a good idea at all.

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Reply 57

Anna.Karenina

Also commenters, whilst people are getting offended by people branding abortion as murder, equally can we not assume children born into single parent families automatically have poorer life chances. I give my son more love than 5 parents could give him, I work hard to give him what he needs so he doesn't go without, and I am with him every single second of the day every day since he was born except for three hours of work each day. He is a very happy and content baby and has just as much of a chance as a child with two parents. Thank you :smile:

Reply 58

cherryred90s

Original post by TrotskyiteRebel

You're entitled to your opinion, but this isn't a pro life vs pro choice debate. The OP has already expressed that she plans to have an abortion so your post about her being a murderer doesn't help to ease the already difficult situation she's in.