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FeEling liberated after ending things.

I just ended a relationship that used to make me cry every day in the last few weeks. I was so scared to end things because I thought that it would take me ages to heal. It has been less than a week and I feel much, much better than I have in a year. No more checking my phone to see if he called or texted then feeling sad and disappointed when seeing that he did not. No more trying to coax myself out of the relationship and being hit by anxiety, it's like I'm free.

Is this supposed to be the norm? I'm confused. Will negative feelings come back at one point?
Reply 1
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Anonymous #1
OP
Mods, can you please correct the grammatical mistake in the title?
I get what you mean. Negative thoughts can always come back if you're triggered by some event that's completely normal and fine. Of course it sometimes takes doing the hardest thing in your life to see the best things, sometimes you get shrouded in some false euphoria which you can only see is false when you do something about it.
Reply 3
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Protoxylic
I get what you mean. Negative thoughts can always come back if you're triggered by some event that's completely normal and fine. Of course it sometimes takes doing the hardest thing in your life to see the best things, sometimes you get shrouded in some false euphoria which you can only see is false when you do something about it.


I was a mess in the last 2-3 days after telling him that we can't have contact again. Went on a road trip with my mum and sisters and kept breaking down. It feels like that's all gone now, and that I can see how much better off I am but it also feels like this is all too good to be true.
Original post by Anonymous
I was a mess in the last 2-3 days after telling him that we can't have contact again. Went on a road trip with my mum and sisters and kept breaking down. It feels like that's all gone now, and that I can see how much better off I am but it also feels like this is all too good to be true.


It's very well true that you can snap back and feel 'like a mess' again and there's no denying that's entirely possible. But it isn't too good to be true, as with any change, it takes time to re-orientate yourself. Just enjoy life.
Reply 5
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Profesh
20
Well done.
Original post by Anonymous
I was a mess in the last 2-3 days after telling him that we can't have contact again. Went on a road trip with my mum and sisters and kept breaking down. It feels like that's all gone now, and that I can see how much better off I am but it also feels like this is all too good to be true.


Good signs to be sure. How did he take it?

Cut contact 100%, social media, phone, e-mail etc.
Box his stuff up if there is any and get your mum or sister to drop it off.
No contact for 6-12 months.

Will all speed things up.

Very good signs to show you that whatever there was left of the relationship was no good, maybe it was just fear and anxiety. GJ though and focus on yourself.
Reply 7
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by 999tigger
Good signs to be sure. How did he take it?

Cut contact 100%, social media, phone, e-mail etc.
Box his stuff up if there is any and get your mum or sister to drop it off.
No contact for 6-12 months.

Will all speed things up.

Very good signs to show you that whatever there was left of the relationship was no good, maybe it was just fear and anxiety. GJ though and focus on yourself.


Thanks :smile:. Yes, I've boxed every reminder of him away and everything digital is on a USB stick which I have put away. I also removed from my newsfeed on deleted his number and social media but it might be a better idea to just block him.

He apologised for hurting me and wished me all the best. I feel no anger towards him but I also feel no longing to go back. Maybe we can be distant friends after a year or so, just not anytime soon.
Reply 8
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Foo.mp3
Given the attributes you alluded to in your OP, no, this is not what one would normally expect, count yourself lucky! :smile:

Depends what you're missing out on vs. the extent to which you're able to be stoical/move on. Stay positive! Related article


Thanks you, I'll give it a read :smile:

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