My boyfriend has finally forgiven me for cheating etc. but I'm not even happy about i

Having read your threads its clear that you suffer from a mirade of emotional issues and are a generally disloyal person.

What's just as bad though is how weak your boyfriend is.

For the good of both of you, you should break up.

Are you sure these aren't denting your zeal? Perhaps discuss with your GP

So don't break up, but do put him in the picture (without overdoing it). Also hope you haven't misled him about how bothered you were about cheating/how likely it is to happen again

I don't really consider myself a disloyal person. It's not like I'm a serial cheater.
Hmm I don't think he's necessarily a weak a person (and he's no saint either he has his faults too). But he can be quite soft hearted and lenient with me i think its mostly cause he knows about my bad past experiences, he knows they msessed me up a little, thats probably why hes so forgiving. Or maybe hes just blinded by love or whatever, who knows

My Gp doesn't even know. They'd never understand. But anyway theres no way i could ever quit i need this stuff to function. Hell, i still cant function 100% normally, as in cant imagine going back to work, or having to deal with sleeping problems and anxiety etc but they do help a lot.
Misled him? What do you mean? Im not planning on doing it again

Your boyfriend is a cuck

In your other thread you seemed to indicate that you cheated with one of your friends men. In one swoop you committed an act of disloyalty against two people.

dont even remind me..... it was really stupid of me. Still, wouldnt do it again

The question is, why did you do it that time?

because i was drunk, and my mood was totally out of control. occasionally i get these hyper crazy moods. but they are pretty rare. probably wont happen again anytime soon. If it does i will just chain myself to the radiator, or sedate myself properly

Being drunk implies the reason was weakness, i don't need to tell you that most men would consider such a trait undesirable in a prospective mate.

You also can't really blame your emotional episodes since plenty of people with mental health issues manage to keep their thong on.

I get the impression that your the type who does not believe in individual responsibility to a significant degree.

You usee the word depression way to lightly. You're whiney *****, the other day you wanted him to forgive you so bad, now that he has you don't care...

/

Sorry to hear that

I encourage you to consider carefully the relevant sub-section of my wellness guide, and the possible impact of electromagnetic fields/radiation in particular (known to interfere with melatonin, and wrecked my sleep and made me feel on edge)

Like given him the impression you care more than you do about doing what you did/the effect it had on him

This is a crafty was of avoiding saying 'it will never happen again' (which is what a partner really ought to hear/know, in such circumstances, hopefully you'll agree)

Not really sure what else is there t explain - im a cheater and i like crazy parties when the mood strikes me, my boyfriend is a nice person but im totally ungrateful and emotionally numb sums it up pretty well

all i can see is a plain simple selfish personality idk what are you fishing about but you are just **** aint nothing anyone can really do about it

Mania ftw

I've no doubt that some elements will be in some way beneficial, so definitely give it a good go!

Well your actions are horrible but at least in some roundabout way you understand this as evidenced by your postings here. The kindest thing you can do for your BF is end the relationship seeing as he is too pathetic to end it himself

@Ciel. - Your BF is pathetic. I don't beat around the bush, i pity him and feel sorry for him. You are a disgusting selfish person who has likely turned him into a shell of who he was. If you are not a troll and this thread is genuine, you need to end the relationship FOR HIM

do you know whats really pathetic? you and your judgemental, ignorant comments. youre probably one of those people who would happily stone anyone who committed adultery......like i said, you dont know him, you dont even know me and you dont know our/my history and his reasons.