Women: will wanting to wait until marriage harm my dating prospects?

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hate to break it to you lad but sometimes people just want to screw.

I'm not so unperceptive as I wouldn't have realised that she just wanted to shag before we went out for a couple of years and got married though.

I think your concept of 'sexual compatibility' is dangerously short-sighted, considering all of the variables. What if your future partner, through illness or an accident or whatever, becomes incapable of normal sex? Are you just gonna dump them and walk out?

Reply 21

drowzee

Honestly, it would be a deal breaker for me. I think sex is important in a long, committed relationship. I'm sure there are many girls that wouldn't mind

Reply 22

wtfCharlie

Original post by Jonquillion

I'm still not quite sure I understand why. Surely if you truly love someone, your sex is going to feel great? If they're not into sex as often as you are, it's no big deal because your relationship is built on stronger foundations.

Because there are more ways than just how often that you can be incompatible. Sex is complex, different people like it in completely different ways.

Reply 23

abc:)

It narrows the pool of potential girlfriends - basically you just have to find someone who feels the same way. I know you said you're not religious but there are religious societies at uni full of girls like that - my flatmate was one.

Personally I'd never do this because understanding someone in that way before I make a lifetime commitment to them is so important. I don't just mean I'd want to know if they're 'good' in bed - I'd want to know if we are compatible, seeing as it's a key foundation of a relationship

Reply 24

1secondsofvamps

Tbh I personally wouldn't mind, if anything it just assures me that the guy isn't after that one thing

Reply 25

IronicalMan

Bad decision, I used to think that way.
Girls that say that's good/not a deal breaker and not heavily religious should not be trusted.
They're either not desirable enough looks wise or are just lying.
Girls are illogical, if they say they like x, then they're usually attracted to y without knowing it.
Do not trust girls.

Reply 26

Anonymous #2

Original post by Jonquillion

Sure thing. These aren't in order of importance, just how they came to mind.

1) Risk. To me, sex seems to be quite a risky business, not just STIs and the minor risk of false rape accusations, but also unwanted pregnancy. I don't agree with abortion, so getting a woman pregnant and having no control over what she does to my child is a very scary prospect. I'd much rather wait until the point where if we accidentally conceive, we are in a strong enough relationship to deal with it.

2) Love. Call me old school, but I don't really see why I'd want to have sex with anyone that wasn't my life-partner. I'm a bit of a sop and to me, sex is something to be enjoyed in a loving relationship. I don't think sex is something I'd intrinsically enjoy (apart from on the animal level), and I'd much rather experience it in a loving relationship.

3) Stability. I'm interested in a stable relationship that would hopefully lead to a marriage and family, and I worry that sex is a weak foundation to build a relationship upon. If you build a loving, non-sexual relationship, then in the case that the sex goes bad (erectile dysfunction, loss of interest after a certain age and so forth), it won't destroy the relationship.

Those are my main three reasons. I'll update it if any more spring to mind.

I'm a girl, I feel exactly the same. I only want sex with my husband, I only want to undress for my husband and I quite honestly would want to "make love" to my husband after marriage.

Sex feels meaningless if it's with whoever and whenever to me.

Reply 27

silverbolt

Original post by Jonquillion

i think your view of relationships is misguided, naive and fraught with unrealistic rom com bull.

When youve actually lived a little come back and then we'll talk. But to humour such an asinine high horse question - no I wouldnt. Not to mention that could happen whether in a sexual relationship or not before marriage.