No help from Father at all

Hi, returning student. Going back to university on Thursday.

At the moment I am struggling financially, I am trying to save up as much as possible. My budget for the year will be £100 a week which is fine.

On the first week I haven't got enough funds to buy essential things e.g pans etc. I can pay a small amount (£40) but the amount I can pay will not be enough for what I need to buy - I will need my monthly budget to live on this incoming month so I cannot take much out of this budget.

I know that our household income is above the threshold because of my fathers job. My father won't provide any support whatsoever - even something minimal e.g £50. I am getting some support from my mother but she can't really afford it. The support I need is minimal on the grand scheme of things e.g something like £300 to buy the essentials. I don't like my mother spending money that she does not have when he is sitting with an income of thousands per month.

I don't see that it is too much to ask for, for my father to provide £200-£300 so that I can buy a few essential items.

My father seems to think that my budget is plenty.

(edited 7 years ago)

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Reply 1

Tiger Rag

If you've got £100 a week, then surely you must be able to spare some of that to buy some pans? Do you not have an overdraft you can use?

Reply 2

Bittah Demon

Get a job... That's how the rest of us get through it.

Why do you need to spend £40 on pans? Or are you trying to buy Tefal everything all at once.

Sounds like you've lived off handouts from your folks forever and could do with a reality check.

Reply 3

username1221160

Use your overdraft and get a job.

Reply 4

Arianax

I can understand your need and you should get a job. Considering your Dad has a high income then he's able to help you out.

I'm sorry but he's being selfish, just get a job I guess :smile:

Sorry I can't help more!

Reply 5

username2183021

£100 a week is "fine". Do you live on caviar and champagne or something?

Reply 6

SMEGGGY

Original post by Frostyjoe

£40 for pans? Wtf

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

Bittah Demon

As you can see, the general consensus is remove that silver spoon from your anus and learn to live within your apparently limited means.

I work full time and would love £100 a week disposable income.

Reply 8

Klix88

Original post by Frostyjoe

I agree with your father.

Why are pans "essential"? Student accommodation with cooking facilities should come with an equipped kitchen. Maybe you need to revise what you view as essential. I can't see how it would add up to £200-300. It certainly won't harm you to live without an optimum number of pans for a week or two. £100 a week is pretty generous and will buy a lot of pans. Save what you think you need from that, over the first month.

Sometimes in life (pretty much all of the time when you're an adult) you can't have exactly what you want, exactly when you want it. You have to save and/or earn in order to get it. It's nothing to do with your Dad - he's probably just trying to teach you to be a little more adult and less demanding. With £100 a week, you really shouldn't need more.

Reply 9

Tiger Rag

Surely, if you're a second year student, you'd have pans from first year?

Reply 10

Frostyjoe

Original post by Donkey******

£100 a week is my living allowance after rent. My disposable income is around £40/£50.

I'm not doubting that I don't need money. I just felt that maybe it wouldn't be too much to ask for him to possibly give me a small amount of money just to tick me over on the first week? Maybe I am being spoilt.

I just know from last year that I had to buy a lot of things additional to what I had already bought i.e dish cloths, pots, pans etc and it adds up.*

Reply 11

Frostyjoe

Original post by Tiger Rag

Surely, if you're a second year student, you'd have pans from first year?

I need new ones.

Reply 12

Bittah Demon

Original post by Frostyjoe

I need new ones.

You WANT new pans, you don't need them. You could make do for now. If they're in that much of a state, it'll give you a bit of a kick to look after things better.

Reply 13

TitanCream

Original post by Frostyjoe

I need new ones.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Simple-Value-Non-stick-3-Piece-Pan-Set-Carbon-Steel-/361428103286

Reply 14

Klix88

Original post by Frostyjoe

£100 a week is my living allowance after rent. My disposable income is around £40/£50.

What are you doing with the £50/£60 a week which you aren't counting as "disposable income"?

I just felt that maybe it wouldn't be too much to ask for him to possibly give me a small amount of money just to tick me over on the first week? Maybe I am being spoilt.

£200-£300 isn't a small amount of money in my world, nor for many others. You do seem to have a skewed perspective.

I just know from last year that I had to buy a lot of things additional to what I had already bought i.e dish cloths, pots, pans etc and it adds up.*

What did you do with the last lot of pots and pans? They last for years. If you just left them behind in your last place, then you need to sort yourself out. You can't afford to just abandon what you seem to think cost you £200-£300.

Sounds like your Dad is right to put his foot down. His assumption is probably that you'll do the same again at the end of next year and basically just throw his money down the drain.

Reply 15

Klix88

Original post by Frostyjoe

I need new ones.

Why? Your accommodation should have pans. It won't hurt you to share or use older secondhand pans.

You can't just have things when you want them. Life isn't like that and you'll be on your own in the working world in only a couple of years. You're on a limited budget - albeit not really that limited for a student - so you have to learn to live within your means.*

Reply 16

NoMansLie

You can buy pans from wilko for literally £4. I spent maybe £15 tops in first year for everything I needed, pots, pans, glasses cutlery, towels etc. I fully expected to be throwing them after the year but I didn't want to take nice stuff into halls. To my surprise everything has held up and I'm still using them going into my 3rd year.

Reply 17

SophieSmall

There seems to be a recurring theme with you OP. Several threads asking questions about getting money off your parents, budgeting and money and then you made a thread called "why do some students live above their means" and then went onto say you don't understand that and don't do it.... Yet clearly you are living above your means if you think it is reasonable to have to frequently run to your parents for money. The cognitive dissonance is astounding.

Mate you need to get a grip, get the silver spoon out of your bum and get a reality check. You don't need new pans, you want new pans. You don't need £300 for essentials, you want it. Essentials shouldn't even need to cost that much anyway, you're clearly buying expensive things and not shopping around. When I went into my first year of uni I only spent around £100 on all the essentials I need (posts, pans, plates cutlery, towels etc) and it included my first food shop, and I've not had to spend any money on that stuff since.

You need to start acting like an adult, because your threads over and over again show me that you expect to get your arse wiped at every turn in life. The rest of us can manage without new pans every year and £300 "essentials" which means so can you. You are indeed being spoilt.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 18

markova21

Original post by TitanCream

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Simple-Value-Non-stick-3-Piece-Pan-Set-Carbon-Steel-/361428103286

I think you might only need one pan,tbh. Heating up stuff can be done in a microwave, and the pan can be used to make soup and pasta. The best thing I bought was a three tier steamer. So much healthier than boiling ,and things taste lovely. Plus, because you are steaming your spuds and vegetables , unless you are really careless it's very very difficult to burn it. Hardly any cleaning involved either. Plus they all stack up on top of each other so you only need to use one electric or gas ring.