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I don't think uni is what I want at all and hate it here. How long should I give it?

So I have posted this elsewhere on the internet for advice and will copy and paste it here, but feel free to skip to the last paragraph:



I did very well in my GCSE's, getting A's in Physics, Chemistry, Maths, and English with B's in everything else, but that was in spite of a lack of study and work ethic, I don't think I ever sat down and revised. In college this came around to really **** me over because you can't get away with doing the same thing but I couldn't break the habit.

My parents both felt that I should apply for an apprenticeship as I would be much better suited to this and could earn money while eventually ending up with a very specific and helpful qualification. Both of my sisters went to uni, one hated it and came out with a mediocre level law degree which she has never used, the other returned home after a month because she decided history wasn't a viable degree for her; both of them advised me not to go.I was adamant it was what I wanted to do and in the end they were all incredibly supportive and there time and money buying me supplies (groceries and utensils etc).

Now I am at university and feel like I have made the worst mistake of my life. For a start I am now in a mandatory debt of £14K which isn't awful because repayment terms are lenient so I'm not at risk of bankruptcy or anything but it's not exactly a nice thing to have hanging over me.I thought I would get here and break out of my shell from being unsociable in HS and college but I have spent most of the time in my room, I don;t particularly like my housemates, they aren't mean or anything but they are slobbish and not really my kind of people. I also thought I would love the night life and part of what drove me here was me being convinced I would love the big city but in truth I hate that too, I have been out with a friend from college but hated every second of it, I felt awkward and out of place. I know the advice is generally to put yourself out there but I am pretty sure I am just not a social person no matter how much I try and force myself to be.

Now that I'm here and thinking about my course I can't help but feel that as a degree it will be not particularly useful and genuinely can't see a career path in this. My family expressed this to me earlier but I waved it away by saying it is just a general degree that will help with a multitude of jobs. Looking back I think in reality my thought process was pretty much just 'I'm sure it'll sort itself out' which suffice to say is a piss poor way of deciding how to spend the next 5 years of my life.Then there's that, the time of it, this degree will end up being 5 years if I see it through, that will be over a fifth of my life! Where I am just getting into more debt and living miserably.I am insanely homesick too, I know people always say that everyone is and it gets easier but it is just ridiculous, I miss my town and my family and my pets. I keep thinking up all this stupid random **** like my dog at home is 8 years old and will probably die while I'm gone. I know that is just an insane thing to base anything on but it's just popping into my head.

At this point I just want to **** it all off and go home, I don't really care about the sunk cost, I'm not getting into was is pretty much 100 grands worth of debt just because i am already in 12Ks worth of debt. But I can't stomach the thought of looking like a complete **** by going home after just a few weeks, having to tell all my extended family (some of whom gifted me cooking pots and things i haven't even used yet because I have been here such a short time) not to mention all the 'I told you so's I will get.The last cherry on top is I spent this past summer doing sweet **** all because I told myself I was going to uni, my mum and dad wanted me to at least get a part time job but I put it off until it was too late. That and I never got around to having driving lessons, I just couldn't will myself to do it.





Basically I think my course will not help me advance any way in life and want to go home and look for an apprenticeship (related to engineering or something similar) because I am almost certain I will not enjoy uni life anyway.I know full well I have been here a very short amount of time and just want to ask you guys: how long should I give it before I go home? I don't think I am going to change my mind at this point, the only thing that has stopped me completely breaking down at this point is the thought of going home. Would it be completely insane to leave after just a couple of weeks?

EDIT: I swear I formatted this using paragraphs and stuff, it has just come out a complete mess.
(edited 7 years ago)
It sounds as though your family's way of thinking is firmly entrenched in a negative expectation of further education. Which makes it very difficult for you to create the opportunity for a different outcome. But it is possible, if you keep your eyes very firmly fixed on what you want for your own future, rather than conforming to other peoples' expectations of you.

I'd get some advice from your student counselling service, regarding the contracts you have signed, so that you have a good understanding of the options that are realistically open to you. And don't make any rushed decisions about leaving uni now, as that would probably be irreversible in the 2016/17 academic year, and you'll always have to account for your choices.

For me, I'd be too proud to back down. Proving other people wrong can be a very effective motivation.
Paragraphs, even if it removed them, then a bit of editing can restore them. People wont read it otherwise.


1. I doubt you are in 14k of debt. You could leave right now. Uni is not for all and it might not be for you either the course, the uni or just this stage of life.

2. Its likely if you decide its not for you, then you cna withdraw immediately. the details will be on the website. You will incur no fees penalty. Check.
You will incur an accommodation penalty and may need to find a replacment but there should be plenty of freshers still looking for a place so advertise. If you are in uni accommodation then read the contract it might e soemthing like a months rent plus £50 admin fee.

3. Contact your tutor and inform them you intend to leave.
Contact admissions and fees and inform them you intend to leave.
Contact whoever is in charge of accommodation inform them of the same.
Contact SFE and inform them of the same. They will wnat most of the money repating, but its unlikely fees will be charged.


Go and find an apprenticeship if thats what you wnat. You cna always go to uni afterwards.
You have been in uni for all of two days - maybe give it a chance? If you want to leave then see post above.
Original post by tuxyu
qfa


I've just edited and formatted your post to mkake it a bit easier to read OP :smile:
Original post by tuxyu
So I have posted this elsewhere on the internet for advice and will copy and paste it here, but feel free to skip to the last paragraph:



I did very well in my GCSE's, getting A's in Physics, Chemistry, Maths, and English with B's in everything else, but that was in spite of a lack of study and work ethic, I don't think I ever sat down and revised. In college this came around to really **** me over because you can't get away with doing the same thing but I couldn't break the habit.

My parents both felt that I should apply for an apprenticeship as I would be much better suited to this and could earn money while eventually ending up with a very specific and helpful qualification. Both of my sisters went to uni, one hated it and came out with a mediocre level law degree which she has never used, the other returned home after a month because she decided history wasn't a viable degree for her; both of them advised me not to go.I was adamant it was what I wanted to do and in the end they were all incredibly supportive and there time and money buying me supplies (groceries and utensils etc).

Now I am at university and feel like I have made the worst mistake of my life. For a start I am now in a mandatory debt of £14K which isn't awful because repayment terms are lenient so I'm not at risk of bankruptcy or anything but it's not exactly a nice thing to have hanging over me.I thought I would get here and break out of my shell from being unsociable in HS and college but I have spent most of the time in my room, I don;t particularly like my housemates, they aren't mean or anything but they are slobbish and not really my kind of people. I also thought I would love the night life and part of what drove me here was me being convinced I would love the big city but in truth I hate that too, I have been out with a friend from college but hated every second of it, I felt awkward and out of place. I know the advice is generally to put yourself out there but I am pretty sure I am just not a social person no matter how much I try and force myself to be.

Now that I'm here and thinking about my course I can't help but feel that as a degree it will be not particularly useful and genuinely can't see a career path in this. My family expressed this to me earlier but I waved it away by saying it is just a general degree that will help with a multitude of jobs. Looking back I think in reality my thought process was pretty much just 'I'm sure it'll sort itself out' which suffice to say is a piss poor way of deciding how to spend the next 5 years of my life.Then there's that, the time of it, this degree will end up being 5 years if I see it through, that will be over a fifth of my life! Where I am just getting into more debt and living miserably.I am insanely homesick too, I know people always say that everyone is and it gets easier but it is just ridiculous, I miss my town and my family and my pets. I keep thinking up all this stupid random **** like my dog at home is 8 years old and will probably die while I'm gone. I know that is just an insane thing to base anything on but it's just popping into my head.

At this point I just want to **** it all off and go home, I don't really care about the sunk cost, I'm not getting into was is pretty much 100 grands worth of debt just because i am already in 12Ks worth of debt. But I can't stomach the thought of looking like a complete **** by going home after just a few weeks, having to tell all my extended family (some of whom gifted me cooking pots and things i haven't even used yet because I have been here such a short time) not to mention all the 'I told you so's I will get.The last cherry on top is I spent this past summer doing sweet **** all because I told myself I was going to uni, my mum and dad wanted me to at least get a part time job but I put it off until it was too late. That and I never got around to having driving lessons, I just couldn't will myself to do it.





Basically I think my course will not help me advance any way in life and want to go home and look for an apprenticeship (related to engineering or something similar) because I am almost certain I will not enjoy uni life anyway.I know full well I have been here a very short amount of time and just want to ask you guys: how long should I give it before I go home? I don't think I am going to change my mind at this point, the only thing that has stopped me completely breaking down at this point is the thought of going home. Would it be completely insane to leave after just a couple of weeks?

EDIT: I swear I formatted this using paragraphs and stuff, it has just come out a complete mess.


What are you studying?
I second that.What are you studying?And why is the degree 5 years long? The only one I can think of thats that long is medicine or dentistry but you said it doesnt lead to a career?
Original post by Robby2312
I second that.What are you studying?And why is the degree 5 years long? The only one I can think of thats that long is medicine or dentistry but you said it doesnt lead to a career?


I think OP is an American based student, don't know if their course durations are different or whatever
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Doones
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Original post by Robby2312
I second that.What are you studying?And why is the degree 5 years long? The only one I can think of thats that long is medicine or dentistry but you said it doesnt lead to a career?

Original post by moeeahmed
I think OP is an American based student, don't know if their course durations are different or whatever


They are at Manchester Met - probably doing a 4 year course with sandwich year.

Original post by tuxyu
Basically I think my course will not help me advance any way in life and want to go home and look for an apprenticeship (related to engineering or something similar) because I am almost certain I will not enjoy uni life anyway.I know full well I have been here a very short amount of time and just want to ask you guys: how long should I give it before I go home? I don't think I am going to change my mind at this point, the only thing that has stopped me completely breaking down at this point is the thought of going home. Would it be completely insane to leave after just a couple of weeks?


If you quit now you may be liable for your accomodation contract but even that may be cancellable. Check the contract and/or speak urgently to your accomodation dept.

You are probably not liable to any tuition fees this early - but again double-check with SFE and your university Student Billings or Finance people. Worst case you might have to pay for the term.

Sounds like a gap year would be an good start - to give you a chance to consider your options and take a breath.
(edited 7 years ago)
it's worth giving it a real go, lots of people feel out of place and homesick at first and it sounds like you've been really influenced by other people's feelings on uni

however if you want to drop out, look into how everything will work financially (i.e. will you have to keep paying for your halls) and then drop it, it's your life

also 5 years is not a fifth of your life unless you plan to die very soon
Im in my first year of uni now and i feel almost exactly the same as you, like exactly. My situation matches this completely except I live alone in my dorm. I don’t plan on leaving uni anytime soon or ever, but it was nice to finally see that I wasn’t the only one feeling like this. It’s been 5 years, what did you end up doing?

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