How do I get a guy to stop asking me out?
Well the first thing you should know about me is that I'm aromantic......so when this guy from college asked me out, I was a little panicked. I hate saying 'no' when someone's built up the courage to ask you out, but I really didn't want to go out for drinks with him and totally lead him on. Baring in mind we've had like three IRL conversations (and he totally backed me into a corner, making me feel guilty until I gave him my phone number), so it's not even like we could have drinks as just friends. Just two near-strangers. So anyway he suggested like 5 or 6 different days but I said I was busy on all of them, and I figured he'd take the hint.
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
Spoiler
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
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Some people need to be told straight tbh.
Original post by A Mysterious Lord
Some people need to be told straight tbh.
But.....how?? I'm really bad at this thing, usually after the 50th 'oh that'd be great but I'm super busy every day for the rest of eternity' guys usually get the hint and stop asking. I've never had to straight up say 'hey, I just don't want to date you'
It's not personal because I'm aro but I figure anyone is going to take a rejection personally. He is friendly, if a little pushy, I want to let him down nicely.
Original post by Anonymous
Well the first thing you should know about me is that I'm aromantic......so when this guy from college asked me out, I was a little panicked. I hate saying 'no' when someone's built up the courage to ask you out, but I really didn't want to go out for drinks with him and totally lead him on. Baring in mind we've had like three IRL conversations (and he totally backed me into a corner, making me feel guilty until I gave him my phone number), so it's not even like we could have drinks as just friends. Just two near-strangers. So anyway he suggested like 5 or 6 different days but I said I was busy on all of them, and I figured he'd take the hint.
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
Spoiler
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
Bluntness is your friend, You definitely made a mistake when giving him your number and another with trying to give him a hint, I completely understand how you feel about not wanting to crush his confidence by saying no straight off but I think you should have tried to be more like a firm but kind no. So more like "I'm sorry but I'm not really interested in you like that but it was sweet that you had the courage to ask me out, I hope you understand" and then go to walk off.
That way no one is ambiguous as to what happened and if he keeps it up it gives you a licence to get a bit meaner if he doesn't give up.
Original post by Anonymous
But.....how?? I'm really bad at this thing, usually after the 50th 'oh that'd be great but I'm super busy every day for the rest of eternity' guys usually get the hint and stop asking. I've never had to straight up say 'hey, I just don't want to date you'
It's not personal because I'm aro but I figure anyone is going to take a rejection personally. He is friendly, if a little pushy, I want to let him down nicely.
It's not personal because I'm aro but I figure anyone is going to take a rejection personally. He is friendly, if a little pushy, I want to let him down nicely.
Gosh it is kinda annoying when a girl isn't straight up with a rejection and then complains about being asked out again by the same person. Here's a tip. Stop being so nice, some guys can be pushy so you need to let him know. Tell him you're not interested in him and then block him. Simple.
Ive been the guy in this situation. It sucks to be there because you never get a straight answer, so you keep holding out that s/he isn't busy on the next day you try. It sucks, big time, and really the only way out for him is to move on (not particularly easy) and for you the way out is to be brutally honest with him and tell him that you have no interest in dating him.
(edited 7 years ago)
I'm very bad at saying no too but whem my close friend asked me out and said that he wanted to do it for 4 years I said no and that I liked him but only as a friend even though it was very hard for me to do so. But anything is better than leading a guy on. We are not as good friends as we've been before but I think I did what I had to do.
Original post by Anonymous
Well the first thing you should know about me is that I'm aromantic......so when this guy from college asked me out, I was a little panicked. I hate saying 'no' when someone's built up the courage to ask you out, but I really didn't want to go out for drinks with him and totally lead him on. Baring in mind we've had like three IRL conversations (and he totally backed me into a corner, making me feel guilty until I gave him my phone number), so it's not even like we could have drinks as just friends. Just two near-strangers. So anyway he suggested like 5 or 6 different days but I said I was busy on all of them, and I figured he'd take the hint.
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
Spoiler
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
I don't know why people expect others to "take a hint". If you don't want to go on date someone say no, don't be a pussy about it.
Original post by Shipreck
I don't know why people expect others to "take a hint". If you don't want to go on date someone say no, don't be a pussy about it.
Indeed. Some people don't get hints. You have to tell them the truth.
''Piss off, I have no interest in your whatsoever, if you continue to bother me, I will report you to the police''
Original post by Anonymous
Well the first thing you should know about me is that I'm aromantic......so when this guy from college asked me out, I was a little panicked. I hate saying 'no' when someone's built up the courage to ask you out, but I really didn't want to go out for drinks with him and totally lead him on. Baring in mind we've had like three IRL conversations (and he totally backed me into a corner, making me feel guilty until I gave him my phone number), so it's not even like we could have drinks as just friends. Just two near-strangers. So anyway he suggested like 5 or 6 different days but I said I was busy on all of them, and I figured he'd take the hint.
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
Spoiler
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
He sounds wierd. Obviously has feelings for you. Tell him how you feels about him. If I were you, I would say that I went out with someone already
Original post by the bear
just keep saying no. he will give up eventually.
Not necessarily. It depends on how much he likes her.
Original post by Anonymous
But.....how?? I'm really bad at this thing, usually after the 50th 'oh that'd be great but I'm super busy every day for the rest of eternity' guys usually get the hint and stop asking. I've never had to straight up say 'hey, I just don't want to date you'
It's not personal because I'm aro but I figure anyone is going to take a rejection personally. He is friendly, if a little pushy, I want to let him down nicely.
It's not personal because I'm aro but I figure anyone is going to take a rejection personally. He is friendly, if a little pushy, I want to let him down nicely.
See the bit I've bolded? That's what women do wrong. All. The. Time. You can say "don't generalise" and yeah, whatever, you got me, but it's so painfully obvious that a lot of women just don't have the balls to actually be honest with guys, and instead resort to dropping hints like they're grime mixtapes.
Just... be honest, for ****s sake. You're an adult. You've got this. You're not trying to figure out whether wormholes are a feasible means of transport, you're just shooting someone down.
"Sorry mate, not interested". 4 words, it's really that simple. If he keeps pestering you, then tell him to **** off. Literally. That's two words. So you need to say, at worst, a grand total of 6 words before you need to threaten him with a harassment lawsuit.
Original post by Anonymous
Well the first thing you should know about me is that I'm aromantic......so when this guy from college asked me out, I was a little panicked. I hate saying 'no' when someone's built up the courage to ask you out, but I really didn't want to go out for drinks with him and totally lead him on. Baring in mind we've had like three IRL conversations (and he totally backed me into a corner, making me feel guilty until I gave him my phone number), so it's not even like we could have drinks as just friends. Just two near-strangers. So anyway he suggested like 5 or 6 different days but I said I was busy on all of them, and I figured he'd take the hint.
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
Spoiler
But then he moved on, saying we should have dinner instead because 'I have to eat', and I kept insisting I was too busy to go. But still, he keeps asking me out. I considered telling him I'm gay but word spreads like wildfire at that college and I wouldn't want the whole place thinking I'd come out as something I wasn't.
How do I get him to stop pestering me? Every time I look at my phone there's a new message from him, I swear he thinks we're about to start dating or something
Admittedly i am as blunt as they come but my recommendation is go into a sports store, find the section that sells bats (if there are none look elsewhere) purchase said bat and then comes the fun part. You take the bat and some lube walk up to the guy and begin lubing up your bat, if he doesnt take the hint you will then remove his pants bend him down and shove it as far as you can. This is sure to stop him from talking
Original post by Drunk Punx
See the bit I've bolded? That's what women do wrong. All. The. Time. You can say "don't generalise" and yeah, whatever, you got me, but it's so painfully obvious that a lot of women just don't have the balls to actually be honest with guys, and instead resort to dropping hints like they're grime mixtapes.
Just... be honest, for ****s sake. You're an adult. You've got this. You're not trying to figure out whether wormholes are a feasible means of transport, you're just shooting someone down.
"Sorry mate, not interested". 4 words, it's really that simple. If he keeps pestering you, then tell him to **** off. Literally. That's two words. So you need to say, at worst, a grand total of 6 words before you need to threaten him with a harassment lawsuit.
Just... be honest, for ****s sake. You're an adult. You've got this. You're not trying to figure out whether wormholes are a feasible means of transport, you're just shooting someone down.
"Sorry mate, not interested". 4 words, it's really that simple. If he keeps pestering you, then tell him to **** off. Literally. That's two words. So you need to say, at worst, a grand total of 6 words before you need to threaten him with a harassment lawsuit.
fair enough. i just felt backed into a corner...i didn't even realise he was interested in that way, i thought we were friends, until one day he started calling me baby and sending me kisses. then i was like '...ok maybe he's just like that with everyone' and then he asked me out. but before i could even give him a response he said 'phew, thank god i've asked i was so nervous you'd say no!'...I felt so awkward saying no after that. I hate being so blunt with people especially as he is a seemingly nice guy but you're right, it's the grown up thing to do. thanks.
Original post by Shipreck
I don't know why people expect others to "take a hint". If you don't want to go on date someone say no, don't be a pussy about it.
in theory, yes. but in reality, if someone says 'do you want to go out with me sometime?', I find it really hard to say no. I mean, it's really personal, or even if it's not they will likely take it personally. I'd love to have the courage to say no but honestly I just don't
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