The Student Room Group

What's with this?

I asked out a woman I like. I thought if she says 'yes' then great, if she says 'no' then at least I'll move on and not waste time. I didn't go a very good job of asking her out, she gave a somewhat uncertain 'no' and 2 months later I've not moved on even though I thought I had.

I saw her on Friday and I'm still sat here thinking about her. I got that auto FB message off her inviting me to messenger and then I'm wondering if she's sat thinking about talking to me and did it by accident. When her friends mention dating, she suddenly is trying really hard not to look at me and I'm wondering what's with that. Basically, I'm over analysing the hell out of things in case there's a chance she might change her mind.

I think the issue might be I knew her pretty well already. It's not like a crush where it's 80% projecting how you want them to be. I think I might have proper feelings for her and that kind of scares me. It feels like letting myself ask her out let my feelings out of the box they were in, I didn't realise I liked her that much.

I'm not some stupid 16 year old, I know the standard advice is 'you're being silly, move on'. I normally would have moved on- this feels ridiculous to me, probably more so than it sounds. I've been trying not to think about her, I went on a date last week, all the stuff I know I am meant to do.

So what the hell is with this and what do I do?
Reply 1
Block her from all social media and delete her number.
Talk to her so you're clear on how she feels and what she wants and to be really honest just tell her how you feel and work from there. Make sure you get a clear yes or no though.
Reply 3
Original post by Anonymous
Talk to her so you're clear on how she feels and what she wants and to be really honest just tell her how you feel and work from there. Make sure you get a clear yes or no though.


I'm not sure I feel like I can. She did say no, albeit a 'I guess it's a no' following me clarifying I meant a date after confusing her (AKA my worst ever attempt at asking someone out). I feel like I'd be being a pest if I didn't respect that. A group of us were in a club, I put my hand on her hip once as I came closer to be able to hear her. I felt bad because she said no so shouldn't feel like I'm hitting on her.

I think she'd have to give me some clearer sense she is interested. I have been holding back from being more friendly with her because I don't want her to think I can't take no for an answer. Maybe there's a bit more of a middle ground. But then I don't even see her often anymore.
Reply 4
Original post by UWS
Block her from all social media and delete her number.


I only chat to her a little bit on FB now when we have a specific reason to but I can't totally cut her out as that'd involve giving up our group of mutual friends
Reply 5
Any other thoughts? Cause I'm so not making progress with this one :lol:

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