The Student Room Group

What does marriage mean to you?

My brother who got married in 2014 is getting divorced. My young sister who got married in 2015 is having unresolvable marital issues and might also be headed that way.*

I'm so so glad I ignored my parents bullying and bad advice when they were trying to force me to find a partner and get married. Unfortunately my sister listened to them. They treated me with so much contempt, until my brother's problems emerged at the end of 2014/15. Now my sister looks to be following direction.*

I kinda feel sorry for my sister because she was clearly misguided and had an unrealistic view of what marriage is about. She thought having a ring on the finger would be an achievement. As for my brother, I feel sorry for his soon to be wife, because his wife had the same mentality as my sister.

For me marriage is a Godly gift, it's an an oath and it's a commitment. I do not take it lightly.*

My sister and brother were already cohabiting with their respective partners before they got married. So I think to myself, once you've already been cohabiting what is the point of getting married? There's a high divorce rate amongst pre cohabiting couples and I'm starting to wonder if having the ring on the finger somehow gives the woman a false sense of control and power that they didn't have before?*

From observing both my siblings marriages I'd definitely say it's the woman that changed after the wedding, i.e. My sister and my sister in law. The guys remained the same, so in a sense my sister and sister in law have themselves to blame because they should have known what they were getting themselves into. *
Marriage means 3 goats for me.
My view of marriage is pretty stable and healthy. Even though my family have had their fair share of problems, including some marital issues, generally my parents love each other a lot and remain married and will remain married.

I've been brought up in a household where marriage is a positive, enriching and wonderful choice. They have always said though they would much rather me be single than marry the wrong person (I.e a meany or someone I don't love).

I would very much like to get married one day. I'm not put off by the statistics :smile: just going to carry on being me with my partner and if we decide we want to then we will no doubt have the best time doing it.

To me marriage is a wonderful and special thing. It's a way of showing my partner my commitment to them forever.
(edited 7 years ago)
It means I get to secure a buff ting and ghost.
Original post by Fruli
My brother who got married in 2014 is getting divorced. My young sister who got married in 2015 is having unresolvable marital issues and might also be headed that way.*

I'm so so glad I ignored my parents bullying and bad advice when they were trying to force me to find a partner and get married. Unfortunately my sister listened to them. They treated me with so much contempt, until my brother's problems emerged at the end of 2014/15. Now my sister looks to be following direction.*

I kinda feel sorry for my sister because she was clearly misguided and had an unrealistic view of what marriage is about. She thought having a ring on the finger would be an achievement. As for my brother, I feel sorry for his soon to be wife, because his wife had the same mentality as my sister.

For me marriage is a Godly gift, it's an an oath and it's a commitment. I do not take it lightly.*

My sister and brother were already cohabiting with their respective partners before they got married. So I think to myself, once you've already been cohabiting what is the point of getting married? There's a high divorce rate amongst pre cohabiting couples and I'm starting to wonder if having the ring on the finger somehow gives the woman a false sense of control and power that they didn't have before?*

From observing both my siblings marriages I'd definitely say it's the woman that changed after the wedding, i.e. My sister and my sister in law. The guys remained the same, so in a sense my sister and sister in law have themselves to blame because they should have known what they were getting themselves into. *


I don't see any point in it anymore. Nowadays with the increasing divorce rate, it does put quite a lot of strain towards the people. Too much effort is required and when you do finally give all the effort, more or less you get ****ed over. But much like you, it's inevitable that my family will do the same to me.
Reply 5
I view marriage as a special thing but I don't think its essential to show you are a committed couple and being married doesn't make you stronger than any other couple, other aspects of your relationship determine your utter strength as a couple in my opinion.

I've recently booked my wedding with my partner of nearly 8 years now and we personally found it important to live together first to make sure we were compatible living together day in day out before we took the next step of marriage. We've been living together for about 7 years now. I know a few couples who were living together for years and took the plunge and got married and then got divorced a few years later. It doesn't make me nervous for my own relationship. I'm not saying it wont happen. I don't know the future but I can only go into a marriage with an open mind and take things a day at a time and if things do turn out badly, I will be devastated but then at least we gave it a shot but I am confident after what we have been through and the time we have lived together, we will most likely be ok.

My partner comes from a family who's marriage ended very bitterly and he doesn't get on with his dad's new wife and my mum didn't get married for the first time until recently and I wouldn't say that has clouded our views on marriage as we know each relationship is different. We are mainly getting married for financial and health care security as I don't keep very well and I want him to be my next of kin and deal with any of my affairs. We don't feel like we need to get married to show we are serious which I think a lot of couples sometimes do and it can backfire because they haven't maybe thought of what a marriage is. To so many people, a marriage is nothing more than the wedding day. They seem to forget that its meant to be for life, that is why I really recommend living together for a good while first but each couple to their own and whatever suits.
Oh I like this question :smile:

Okay so awhile back marriage meant **** all to me, because honestly I've seen several awful marriages in my life and feel like that was the case for more people than not. I felt like your marriage either ended in divorce or you remained unhappily married, sleeping in separate beds etc.

Now a days my view on marriage has completely turned around, I think marriage is to be taken seriously because is a commitment and you should do whatever you can in your power to stay committed through all the atrocities of life, and there is a certain power that comes with that. Like imagine saying to someone "Wow, look at everything we have overcome and we are still married!", I'm sure it only makes your relationship stronger ( or weaker if one person is not as committed).

I wouldn't want to get married for the sake of getting married, if that makes sense. I feel like marriage probably gets dull, boring, upsetting, lonely etc like any commitment you make in life, but both people have to have the ability to overcome and se past all those things and work through those things. People that just see marriage as a ring on their finger and a romantic wedding day probably won't see marriage in that way and therefore more likely to end up unhappy.

Basically I expect the bad things to happen in a marriage, and as much as I find that sad I do know there are some amazing things about marriage and I hope to find someone who feels the same way one day. :smile:
Original post by UWS
Like prison but you get to have sex with a woman

Spoiler



-_-
Reply 8
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
-_-


Well that's my take on it. I don't even have a girlfriend so I don't know anything :lol:
Love doesn't exist so no point in marriages. This is another proof. Everybody cheats and it's only sex that we want.
Reply 10
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
Oh I like this question :smile:

Okay so awhile back marriage meant **** all to me, because honestly I've seen several awful marriages in my life and feel like that was the case for more people than not. I felt like your marriage either ended in divorce or you remained unhappily married, sleeping in separate beds etc.

Now a days my view on marriage has completely turned around, I think marriage is to be taken seriously because is a commitment and you should do whatever you can in your power to stay committed through all the atrocities of life, and there is a certain power that comes with that. Like imagine saying to someone "Wow, look at everything we have overcome and we are still married!", I'm sure it only makes your relationship stronger ( or weaker if one person is not as committed).

I wouldn't want to get married for the sake of getting married, if that makes sense. I feel like marriage probably gets dull, boring, upsetting, lonely etc like any commitment you make in life, but both people have to have the ability to overcome and se past all those things and work through those things. People that just see marriage as a ring on their finger and a romantic wedding day probably won't see marriage in that way and therefore more likely to end up unhappy.

Basically I expect the bad things to happen in a marriage, and as much as I find that sad I do know there are some amazing things about marriage and I hope to find someone who feels the same way one day. :smile:


Summed up well my view of marriage.*You seem very observant and reflective.**
Reply 11
Original post by RoyalMarine
Love doesn't exist so no point in marriages. This is another proof. Everybody cheats and it's only sex that we want.


Sure, if your relationship is built on lust.*
An obscene cost to have an overhyped party to say that you love each other when both parties are probably already aware of that fact.

Original post by RoyalMarine
Love doesn't exist so no point in marriages. This is another proof. Everybody cheats and it's only sex that we want.

Who hurt you?

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