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Boyfriend at uni whilst I'm at home

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(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by bcmp17
My boyfriend is in the academic year above me and has recently gone to university. His university is 2 hours away so it's not like he can pop back during the weekends. We both want to stay together and have planned visits to see one another. He's always talked about the future and takes our relationship seriously.
Since going he doesn't reply for hours and I don't know what's going on. I understand he's enjoying freshers and being in a new place with new people but it would be nice to know what's going on. Any advice or help? I don't want to come across as selfish as I understand he is probably nervous and is missing his family and me.


I think his new life will be exciting, and you have to wait for a while for it all to become common place. Try at set up[ a skype session weekly to stay more in contact?
Hey,

I'm currently in the same situation as you, but my boyfriend is just over 4 hours away on the train.

I know how you feel with him taking a while to respond. Like ProbablyJade said, regular Skyping/FaceTiming is the best way to stay in contact, doing it as much as you can really make you feel a lot better.

If you're still feeling a bit distant from him, as weird as it sounds, give him some space, he'll come around and realise what he's doing is unfair.

May I just ask, are you planning to go to uni next year?

All the best.
I did this last year. Have trust in him, he's probably really busy and having lots of fun he can't wait to tell you about later :smile:
Original post by bcmp17
My boyfriend is in the academic year above me and has recently gone to university. His university is 2 hours away so it's not like he can pop back during the weekends. We both want to stay together and have planned visits to see one another. He's always talked about the future and takes our relationship seriously.
Since going he doesn't reply for hours and I don't know what's going on. I understand he's enjoying freshers and being in a new place with new people but it would be nice to know what's going on. Any advice or help? I don't want to come across as selfish as I understand he is probably nervous and is missing his family and me.


Agree some ground rules.
Get on with your own life. If you are constantly worrying or thinking about what he is up to then you will drive yourself mad. You might also drive him mad.
Trust him, until he gives you good reason not to.
lol hes probably cheated on you already
Original post by fksociety
lol hes probably cheated on you already


Well that's not a kind thing to say someone already feeling in an anxious position. Yes. he might have done but probably hasn't. OP, don't worry.
Original post by bellalalaxo
Well that's not a kind thing to say someone already feeling in an anxious position. Yes. he might have done but probably hasn't. OP, don't worry.


Lol i think im the only realist here. This is freshers week after all...
Original post by fksociety
Lol i think im the only realist here. This is freshers week after all...


I was in a relationship last year and my ex went to freshers. No cheating happened :tongue: I had freshers this year and cheated on nobody too hahaha

although i will admit i have known people cheat during freshers but they're usually not in serious relationships
Original post by bcmp17
Thank you for your advice, i trust him entirely and know he's not up to no good it's just it would be nice to hear from him more often! I don't reply until he does and I respect him by giving good him space.


Just give him space and dont drive yourself mad. Both of those are two ways to make things more difficult.
Open relationship. :wink:
Don't expect him to be in constant touch - he really will be very busy, establishing himself in a new place, wanting to give a good impression on his tutors etc. I guess if you are planning to go to Uni next year you are busy too.

See if you can plan when exactly you will be seeing each other in the next weeks. If you know he will be back in 2-3 weeks or you will be going to see him then you will feel happier. Without some planning and commitment on both sides it is difficult to maintain a LTR.

However - amor vincit omnia- I know a couple : one in Edinburgh and one in London - but committed to each other and prepared to wear out the East Coast Line for a year. They are getting married very soon.
Original post by bcmp17
Haha not my sort of thing



You don't know until you try. :yep:
Original post by bcmp17
Good luck to you too, I don't reply till he does. And yes hopefully, but not the same as him! What about you?


Thank you!

Ah, that sounds nice, good luck on your applicaiton. :smile:

I'm hoping to go to a university that's one hour less away from him, so not too bad. :biggrin:😂
you can't expect him to be in constant contact, replying after a couple of hours is pretty reasonable... I would try and chill out, you're only likely to cause problems if you expect an unreasonable amount from him

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