Mum isn't letting me move out for university and I really want to.

I checked on the student finance calculator and I think it was £8538 or something like that. I did read that estranged students get the maximum loan from Student finance and I don't mind proving evidence I'm estranged. I'm planning to get a part time job to save up too and my mum's boyfriend has said he doesn't mind helping me on the quiet.

I'd say stick it out for a year. Work hard on your A-levels and get the best grades you can. Applying this year sounds like it'll make your life hell, so you might not even get the grades you are capable of.

You have to prove you are estranged.

Am I ‘irreconcilably estranged’ from my parents?

You are eligible to be considered for independence on the basis of being ‘irreconcilably estranged from your parents’ if you have not had verbal or written contact with both of your biological, adoptive parents or your only living parent for a significant period of time and this will not change. A significant period of time is usually considered twelve months or longer prior to the start of your course, but this can also depend on your circumstances.Many people feel unsupported by their parents financially and/ or emotionally, but you won’t be eligible to claim estranged status simply because your parents are on low income and don’t support you financially. You will need to provide statements from an independent person with good standing in the community that can verify that there has been no communication with both of your biological or adoptive parents, or only living parent, for a substantial period of time before the start of your course, and that your estrangement from them is irreconcilable.


Its going to be much harder proving that if you are under the same roof.

I'm aiming for ABB so I should be okish. I'd love AAB but that's unrealistic tbh.



The charity I'm looking at says they'll help provide evidence that you wanted estrangement especially if you didn't tell anyone of it.

OP, I think you should let your mum see this chat. Give her a last chance to redeem the situation in your eyes. Though with the way you are seeing things, I feel you will walk out either way.

You clearly have no respect for your parents, which is sad, then again I don't know your situation so I won't comment. Just don't regret the decision you make, since you are essentially going it alone.

I hope you can learn in your spare time how to pay your tv license, poll tax, subscription charges, setting up direct debits, credit card bills and other charges. I hope you learn how to manage your savings, how to set up an ISA, how to invest (though this may be far fetched for you given your background). It's not easy going it alone, sure there is no one to tell you what to do, but then again there is no one to save you when you are wrong.

Right thank you.

The charity I'm looking at says they'll help provide evidence that you wanted estrangement especially if you didn't tell anyone of it.

I do wish things work out whatever you do, but always think over a decision. Plenty of people get burnt in the heat of the moment, time is a wonderful healer.

It's always best to make a move when you are financially sound and you are just a few years away from that. You will be a lot more mature as well, you could spend the next few years learning how to live on your own, or even better mend the situation with your mum.

You can move out at 22 once you have a job and your mum can visit, best of both worlds.

I've been in a similar situation to you, so I hope you respect this as you read it.

Using university as an excuse to escape your family is a really bad idea. When I was nineteen I wanted to go to university to escape my parents, this was 12 years ago but I realised this wasn't realistic because I would have needed fiancial support from my parents. As much as I would like to tell you to go for it, your loan is tied to your mothers income and I do not think you would be able to get estrangement critiea applied - that said if you want to try, you should but don't be overly disappointed if SFE pull a 'computer says no'.

Ultimately, the only way you are going to achieve this is by achieving emancipation by being finanically independent, and think current rules state two years of it. My advice to you would be while you finish your A Levels would be to get a part job, save up enough to move into a flat/house share, then look at university when you don't feel the pressure of wanting to get away from your mother. You don't have to go straight from school to uni. Taking a year out might be good for you. It will prep you for living on your own without the pressure of study and give you more thinking space over precisly when, where you want to go while being able to provide proper estrangement.

Ultimately, for me, it work out like this - I moved out at the age I had wanted to go to uni, got a decent job, met a guy, married, had kids and I've only just started my degree this week at the tender age of 31.

Good luck with whatever you do tho.

Had a similar situation , didn't even bother applying to unis in my city because of it.

I've been in a similar situation to you, so I hope you respect this as you read it.

Using university as an excuse to escape your family is a really bad idea. When I was nineteen I wanted to go to university to escape my parents, this was 12 years ago but I realised this wasn't realistic because I would have needed fiancial support from my parents. As much as I would like to tell you to go for it, your loan is tied to your mothers income and I do not think you would be able to get estrangement critiea applied - that said if you want to try, you should but don't be overly disappointed if SFE pull a 'computer says no'.

Ultimately, the only way you are going to achieve this is by achieving emancipation by being finanically independent, and think current rules state two years of it. My advice to you would be while you finish your A Levels would be to get a part job, save up enough to move into a flat/house share, then look at university when you don't feel the pressure of wanting to get away from your mother. You don't have to go straight from school to uni. Taking a year out might be good for you. It will prep you for living on your own without the pressure of study and give you more thinking space over precisly when, where you want to go while being able to provide proper estrangement.

Ultimately, for me, it work out like this - I moved out at the age I had wanted to go to uni, got a decent job, met a guy, married, had kids and I've only just started my degree this week at the tender age of 31.

Good luck with whatever you do tho.

Pardon me if i am wrong but you haven't even got a definitive answer from your mum about whether you can live out for uni and whether she will help finance it. i would suggest you speak to your mum first and get a final answer before considering everyone elses advice. .