What is confusing you regarding your future?

I just wanted to ask if anyone here had any confusions in deciding what they want to do beyond college? I know myself it was a really stressful and confusing position to be in and I'd really like to help anyone who's struggling. Thanks for replying in advance!

Reply 1

TSR Jessica

Sorry you've not had any responses about this. :frown:

Are you sure you've posted in the right place? :smile:

Here's a link to our subject forum which should help get you more responses if you post there. :redface:

Just quoting in Alisaurus Cats so she can move the thread if needed :wizard:

Spoiler

Reply 2

KieranAdam

Original post by TSR Jessica

Sorry you've not had any responses about this. :frown:

Are you sure you've posted in the right place? :smile:

Here's a link to our subject forum which should help get you more responses if you post there. :redface:

Just quoting in Alisaurus Cats so she can move the thread if needed :wizard:

Thanks for replying Jessica, I'm bombarding the forum with this question anyway so I wouldn't worry too much about it hahahahahaha

yes, me

Original post by Blackstarr

@KieranAdam

What's up buddy? I'll try to help the best I can.

Reply 6

studenty99

I know that I want to go to uni but so stuck with choosing a subject (keep flicking between them), let alone a course, so I'm taking a gap year and applying after A levels. However if I do my current plan for gap year then I won't be around for interviews etc.

Reply 7

Blackstarr

Original post by KieranAdam

What's up buddy? I'll try to help the best I can.

Its basically my personal statement for child nursing.

I need help with improvements and additions and everything else needed.

Reply 8

Blackstarr

Also, what would it mean if i "deffer" my entry for next year?

Reply 9

KieranAdam

Original post by studenty99

Thanks for commenting bud. For your issue I'll post the solution which I've been passing on to others which may help you. First, grab a pen and notepad and go somewhere alone for a few hours with no interruptions. What I want you to do is write down all your values, your beliefs, your interests and your vision of what you want for the future. The key is writing down as many as you can and the reason we're doing this is because I want you to know yourself completely. When you know yourself completely it's so much easier to decide on what career path you want to do which actually suits you, not you trying to fit yourself like a jigsaw piece to what's out there. Now let's say you done the exercise I've just told you to do. I now want you to assess all the possible careers you want to look into against all the things you've written down, find out which ones align the most with who you are as a person. I'll lay out a small example here. If one of my values is to spend time with my family and friends then I'm not going to pursue a career which requires me to work stupid hours (Like a lawyer and a doctor). This should help you cross out quite a few career options which plain simply don't suit who you are as a person, reducing the headache you have to a much smaller headache. Now the more you narrow the list, the more the other parts come into it (the other values, beliefs, interests and vision for the future) and the idea is to figure out which career would you want to do for free if we didn't live in a world where money was an issue. You want a career which is based of something that your passionate about but also suits who you are as a person. I hope this helps buddy, let me know how it went!

Reply 10

KieranAdam

Original post by Blackstarr

Its basically my personal statement for child nursing.

I need help with improvements and additions and everything else needed.

Hey bud,

I'm not going to lie to you, personal statements aren't my strength. However, what I can help you with is possibly pointing you in the right direction. I'm a big believer in the idea of if I don't know the best way to do something then I'll look out the people that do know how to do it. For you I'd recommend either looking up for a child nursing forum (there's bound to be one out there!) or what I think would be massively better is if you actively looked for child nurses in person around your local area so you could have a face-to-face conversation with them, find out the kind of things they put into their personal statements. Because if they are already in the position you want to be in, mostly likely they did the personal statement right and I'd rather learn from someone who's been there and done what I want to do rather than some random people in the internet who may be out there to bulls**t you. I'd also imagine there will be books on the subject too, but just keep it simple, find the people who have already done what you want to do and get their opinions on it. Most people are actually willing to help, all you have to do is ask. I hope that helps man!

Reply 11

KieranAdam

Original post by Blackstarr

Also, what would it mean if i "deffer" my entry for next year?

Hi bud,

I've replied to your other question on this thread. For this I'd imagine it means to delay your application for a year. Don't hold me to gospel on that though, double check with the people you're submitting the application to! Hope this also helps!

Reply 12

Blackstarr

Original post by KieranAdam

Thanks for the reply.

what you said is true.

Reply 13

Rhaenys10

Original post by KieranAdam

EVERYTHING
I don't even know where I'm gonna be 6 months from now lol

Reply 14

username2230787

I worry that it isnt all worth it.
Im so sad and stressed with everything and the only thing that motivates me to continue is the thought of something better where i can finally do thing and idk not be restricted and just get away from everything and start over.
However im worried that i wont cope at uni, i find life hard enough as it is, not in terms of academic studies but just in terms of 'life stuff' i hardly go out and dont really know anything about anything and my coping methods for anxiety and everything arent exactly the greatest and i imagine uni will be 10x more stress.
i just wonder if things are actually going to get better or if i will end up even lonelier and separated from the few people who care about me as it is.
i just feel like im alone really and that ill just go through life being alone because stuff.
just feel so disenchanted with stuff really and idk if im doing this because it is expected of me or if i really want it.
i do want to move away and move on and get that but idk if this is the right way about it.
tbh i always had the impression that i had an 'expire date' i.e the age i am now, i honestly cant see how i have a future beyond this because i feel so juvenile in some aspects compared to others who seem to do everything with relative ease, but in other ways i feel far more mature than people my age which puts me in an awkward position because i cant relate to them really and then i seek older company which just makes me feel stupid and inferior because people have jobs and stuff and are making something out of their lives and then there's just me drawing stuff.
So yeh, everything is just so uncertain atm and i hate it, i wish i could just lie down and make it all go away but i cant even do that really bc my mind never rests and all these anxieties and insecurities just manifest themselves in horrible ways.
so yeh lol
i dont want to go back because that was horrendous and all behind me, i hate the present and im terrified of the future and dont even know if i have one really.
/teenage angst lol

Reply 15

GamerGeekGurl

Original post by KieranAdam

I am so confused :/
I know that I do not want to go to university, I don't mind doing an online course but the student life is not for me. I also know that I want to be a counselor and I've been told by a counseling tutor that I can't do that until I am 21 and have more life experience, which I understand completely but I don't know what I'm going to do now! I was thinking about studying A levels (I'm currently studying a Level 3 BTEC in Health and Social care) but I can't find any decent information on courses anywhere. All I find is how long the course lasts, not what the content is. I just have no idea what to do, I don't want to pay to go to university if it's just going to be something I do in the mean time :frown:

This is so stressful and confusing.

Reply 16

KieranAdam

Original post by Salamandastron

Hey bud,

I'm not going to lie, your post is one I've spent the last 12 hours thinking about how to answer. I think I should start off by saying that it's so easy for me just to write 'Yeah, just do this!' when the truth is that I don't have the answer to everything. I'll try to help everyone the best I can but the point I'm trying to make here is that it's easy for me to just give answers/opinions to everyone's problems and make myself look so self-righteous to everyone reading this thread. Now the reason I've just mentioned the previous point is because I feel the best way to help you is to show something that will sound so obvious it'll make you cringe, we are all different. The truth is that everyone is hiding their demons, their insecurities and their biggest fears, it doesn't mean that everyone isn't feeling them too. So for you to have the courage to admit the things you've said here I can only say how much I respect you. I'd like to imagine even just letting it out there might have helped you in a small way. Now, I'll come clean to you my friend. I have autism and was diagnosed when I was two. For those who don't know what that means it means I have a mental disability and through it I see the world in a completely different way to most people. This doesn't make me better or worse than anyone, it just makes me different. For most of my life I too felt the same feelings of alienation and hopelessness that I see in your post. Now however, through many different life experiences at 22 I see the world in a very different way to the way I did when I was 16. I suffered depression and I was constantly in battle within myself on trying to figure out what the hell I should do with my life. Fast forward a few years I think very differently now and see hope and positivity in my life. I do not allow negative crushing emotions to get the better of me and I finally understand the mistakes I was making while I was young. Now none of the last two sentences are there to make me look like I'm better than you but maybe I can offer some insights which changed my life and in tern may help you find happiness. The mind you see is so powerful. It can either help or destroy us. It is down to us to decide which path we should follow. For me, it was accepting the fact I was disabled and that I am accountable to everything that has happened and will happen in my life which empowered me to make a change in mentality. The truth is that we all have an 'expiry date', we just don't know when it is. Its what we choose to do between now and then that defines us, that make us stand out in the course of history. I can guarantee you now that you have at least one amazing skill that you can do in seconds that would take people years to learn, we all do. Your future has always been in your hands, do you know how awesome that is? You can take this dark phase and change it into something that you'll laugh at when you look back, something that makes you stronger than 99.9% of people out there. That's what separates the best from everyone else, they can stare that darkness in the face and smile back, because they know its part of this amazing thing called life. It is in the darkness we truly define ourselves, an opportunity to become a better person. You have so much potential within you and I don't even know who you are. How do I know, because we all do! We're brought up in a world that tells you that you're not good enough, that you should just 'get back in line' and accept life for what it is. This isn't true and this goes out to anyone reading this. Your life is yours and only action is going to change it. Sure I can say motivational words, fire you up. But if you don't take action then it doesn't mean anything! You have to fight your doubts, your fears, your inner demons. Because if you let them they will crush you and you will allow your anxieties to rule you, just like they did for me a few years ago. There is always a way, a way of making things better. You just have to keep fighting every single day for what you believe in. Don't let anyone tell you what you can and cannot be, that is for you to decide! You CAN do this! Anyway, if you want a start which helped me, read 'How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie', 'The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday' and books along those lines are excellent. What helped me find more people like me was to join a group that shares the same interests for me. That provides something you can share in common with another human being and makes life so much easier and allows you to meet others. However, you need to put yourself out there to do that, no one is going to do it for you. If you feel no one around you doesn't understand you then you must explain yourself calmly so they do understand you. This world is full of so much opportunity and there are so many people who want to help you, find them, reach out to them. You've got this man! Keep going and DO NOT GIVE UP! I hope things get better for you, I truly do. Because one day you'll look back at this and laugh, wondering how the hell you got here. You can do this man, you can do this!

Reply 17

KieranAdam

Original post by Rhaenys10

EVERYTHING
I don't even know where I'm gonna be 6 months from now lol

Could you be a little more precise? I can't really help with that hahahahaha

Reply 18

KieranAdam

Original post by GamerGeekGurl

This is so stressful and confusing.

Hi GamerGeekGurl

At least you've got a clear distinction in your head of what you don't want, that's really important! If I were you (all of this is based of opinion.......) I'd look at finding out whether doing A-Levels is going to get you where you want to go. Because if t doesn't then there's no point in wasting your time going through the whole process of getting the qualification (especially when you've already said you don't want the student life). Now I don't know how old you are but id also recommend speaking to a few other counselling tutors in different places to see if the age thing applies, don't take what everyone says as gospel. I'd also if I were you actually reach out to counsellors and speak to them about what they did to get where they are. Tutors are great but chances are they haven't done the actual job of counselling for a while and things could be different now. Next, read a s**t load of books on the subject. Grow your brain so you know much more than the other students (I.E. the competition) and can stand out more than the students who just do the bare minimum. If you've time to wait then read/study/talk to as many actual counsellors as you can. Learn what they did and see if that helps. Don't go to uni if you don't want or need it, there's no point going through all of that if it isn't what you want. I hope this helps!