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Have you ever been betrayed?

Doesn't necessarily mean being cheated on. Just general act of betrayal by someone close to you, could be a close friend rather than a romantic partner.

What did you do?
Cut the person out of your life?
Forgive and forget?
Original post by Anonymous
Doesn't necessarily mean being cheated on. Just general act of betrayal by someone close to you, could be a close friend rather than a romantic partner.

What did you do?
Cut the person out of your life?
Forgive and forget?


Betrayed many times. It's part of life. I've been betrayed by romantic partners and close people. I usually would forgive them and forget about it, but I wouldn't really trust them. But now, I'd just completely cut them off. And if they want to go around to people and make lies about me or even do things to make me look bad then so be it. But I just carry on with my life.
Original post by Anonymous
What did you do?
Cut the person out of your life?
Forgive and forget?


This is applicable for quite a few people, but...

Yes.
Yes.
This one varies. Sometimes I do forgive and forget, sometimes I just forgive, sometimes I don't do either. A lot of people have come into my life and hurt me, some have even traumatized me, and to forgive/forget is not the easiest of things to do.
Reply 3
Avatar for Arianax
Arianax
20
Yes, but I'm 60/70% over it now! :smile: just takes time.

Yes, I cut the person out of my life. I didn't forgive them or forget what they did, I don't hold anger or bitterness towards them. I just get along with my own life and what I need to do.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 4
Avatar for Rum Ham
Rum Ham
20
Yes, by my best friend at the time. It involved physical abuse, back stabbing, mocking my health and generally just being a prick. I cut them out my life as soon as they got physical but looking back, I should have got rid of them a lot sooner but I was young and foolish. I haven't forgotten or forgave him and I never will. I wouldn't say I hate him any more, I am more disappointed than anything but I've doing fine since I got rid of him about 6 years ago and will continue to do so :yep:
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 5
Avatar for mkap
mkap
20
yes by my ex. i confronted him. cut offf from him. forgave him but not forgotten
many times :frown:
I was going to say probably, but I cant remember
Very careful who I trust.

.....

Now thinking about it and yes- not good friends. People who said one thing several times to your face, but when push came to shove they invented some total lies.

My conscience absolutely clear, but they were absolute 100% barefaced liars. Didnt make sense at the time someone would lie like that so was in shock as normally I'm able to trust the people around me 100%. Still makes me wonder how they rationalised to themselves being liars. An eye opener.
My best friend when I was younger used to stay at my house very regularly. Stuff kept going missing and he eventually started bragging about stealing my stuff to other people - unfortunately for him, the people he told obviously liked me more than they liked him because they came straight to me and told me. Ended up going up to confront him as he came out of school when I had a staff training day and we had a pretty savage fight in the courtyard :rofl:
Reply 9
Avatar for Scott.
Scott.
2
I usually cut people off as soon as I sense betrayal. Although I have been known to betray people.
Yes.

I'm over it but I'm pretty nervous about dating now because of what happened. Maybe I'll just have dogs and eat pasta every Friday night and watch comedies instead.
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Thanks for the responses.

A close friend of mine betrayed me, in a sense that he just stopped caring. He said he would always be there for me, and I always replied "that's what they all say, I don't think you can cope with me or my problems"
He would always say "nah, I'm different"

But now he's just stopped caring. He's always too busy or too tired to talk, I feel like he has betrayed me. And it's affecting my MH, me constantly beating myself up about it. What did I do wrong? etc etc.

I've tried to cut him out, but it's difficult when you see him 5 days a week and then more on his and other people's social media. I can't avoid him because that's just childish, but I don't want to be weak and continue talking to him. What do you think I should do?
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the responses.

A close friend of mine betrayed me, in a sense that he just stopped caring. He said he would always be there for me, and I always replied "that's what they all say, I don't think you can cope with me or my problems"
He would always say "nah, I'm different"

But now he's just stopped caring. He's always too busy or too tired to talk, I feel like he has betrayed me. And it's affecting my MH, me constantly beating myself up about it. What did I do wrong? etc etc.

I've tried to cut him out, but it's difficult when you see him 5 days a week and then more on his and other people's social media. I can't avoid him because that's just childish, but I don't want to be weak and continue talking to him. What do you think I should do?


No idea what age you are, but people cna often make big promises without realising the implications or how serious the other side might take it. Yours just sounds like someone who made a promise, but found out they couldnt or decided they had no interest in keeping it.

He will have his own reasons, he cnat handle you, he finds it draining, he has other things to do.

Stuff like this is more normal.

I can understand you are disappointed.
You do need to move on though.
Beating yourself up wastes time amd emergy.
Overthinking drains energy.

Either talk to him, let him know and move on or just avoud him, but stop beating yourself up.
Original post by Anonymous
Doesn't necessarily mean being cheated on. Just general act of betrayal by someone close to you, could be a close friend rather than a romantic partner.

What did you do?
Cut the person out of your life?
Forgive and forget?


Told a friend that I was interested in a girl (I didn't like her just the first girl to grab my interest and quickly lost it afterwards) and he went and told his friends and they told everyone else. When I confronted him about it, he said it doesn't matter everyone knows now, he didn't even apologise and so I stopped talking to him after that. I forgive and forget if someone asks for forgiveness.
no...and i don't want to be betrayed either:frown:
Original post by 999tigger
No idea what age you are, but people cna often make big promises without realising the implications or how serious the other side might take it. Yours just sounds like someone who made a promise, but found out they couldnt or decided they had no interest in keeping it.

He will have his own reasons, he cnat handle you, he finds it draining, he has other things to do.

Stuff like this is more normal.

I can understand you are disappointed.
You do need to move on though.
Beating yourself up wastes time amd emergy.
Overthinking drains energy.

Either talk to him, let him know and move on or just avoud him, but stop beating yourself up.


my 18th was last week and his is in a few months.
idk i made equally big promises which i've stuck to, but i guess he was all talk and no action

I'm trying to move on, part of the problem is people are used to always seeing us together so they're constantly talking about him to me or vice versa. also tbh we still talk here and there, only because i don't want him out of my life.

i'm an overthinker but i'll try not to beat myself up about it
The worst case of betrayal I have ever witnessed was when Shepard killed Ghost in MW2. Still breaks my heart to this day.




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Original post by Anonymous
my 18th was last week and his is in a few months.
idk i made equally big promises which i've stuck to, but i guess he was all talk and no action

I'm trying to move on, part of the problem is people are used to always seeing us together so they're constantly talking about him to me or vice versa. also tbh we still talk here and there, only because i don't want him out of my life.

i'm an overthinker but i'll try not to beat myself up about it


There you go. Its really common for people to make big promises becayse they are easy and then not to follow thoygh. Forever is a long time.
Its the same when people consider telling the ruth or not.

Rather than let it eat you up then talk to him. Be aware he wont live up to your expectations, but it might break this idealised imaged you have of him and make it easier to distance yourself. Still light make you feel better having informed him, but dont expect the answer you want.

When you look back on it you will wonder why you wasted so much time worrying about it. Find a new friend. Be caytious about people making promises.

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