The Student Room Group

Maths Jokes

Has anyone got any maths jokes?

Here's some:

I got in a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me!

Why do statisticians know about everyone?
They census.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. The 1st orders a beer, the 2nd orders 1/2 of a beer, the 3rd orders a 1/4 of a beer, and so on. The bartender gives the mathematicians 2 beers. The mathematicians don't look satisfied with the 2 beers. Then the bartender says "Know your limits. Don't drink and derive!".

Why was the maths teacher late for work?
They got on the rhombus.

Have you heard of the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?
They stopped at nothing to avoid them!

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Einstein, Pascal and Newton were playing Hide and Seek.
Einstein started counting and Pascal ran away.
Newton stay where he was and drew a square on the ground around him, 1 metre by 1 metre.
Einstein finished counting and immediately found Newton saying: "Newton, I've found you", to which he replies
"I'm not Newton, I'm Pascal".
Reply 2
Original post by BobBobson
Einstein, Pascal and Newton were playing Hide and Seek.
Einstein started counting and Pascal ran away.
Newton stay where he was and drew a square on the ground around him, 1 metre by 1 metre.
Einstein finished counting and immediately found Newton saying: "Newton, I've found you", to which he replies
"I'm not Newton, I'm Pascal".


Cool joke :smile:
why is 6 afraid of 7
because 7 8 9
Reply 4
Nice jokes, everyone :biggrin:
P(eeee2)=213P\left(\dfrac{e^e-e^{-e}}{2}\right)=2^{-13}

If anyone gets this I'll be mega impressed.
Reply 6
How do mathematicians celebrate after sketching a linear graph?
They do a line dance!

Why do mathematicians hate graphical inequalities?
Because it's shady business!
:smile:


















I think the best joke in (A Level) maths is Decision 1.
I have the feeling that this will go off on a tangent..
Reply 10
Original post by SilverActor2033
I have the feeling that this will go off on a tangent..

The trigonometry puns are a sine that it will.
Original post by Loci Pi
The trigonometry puns are a sine that it will.


Aw, why'd you hhave to do that? Just Cos?
Why did Pythagoras cross the road?

Spoiler

Reply 13
Original post by hamza772000
Why did Pythagoras cross the road?

:biggrin:
Original post by Loci Pi
Has anyone got any maths jokes?

Here's some:

I got in a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me!

Why do statisticians know about everyone?
They census.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. The 1st orders a beer, the 2nd orders 1/2 of a beer, the 3rd orders a 1/4 of a beer, and so on. The bartender gives the mathematicians 2 beers. The mathematicians don't look satisfied with the 2 beers. Then the bartender says "Know your limits. Don't drink and derive!".

Why was the maths teacher late for work?
They got on the rhombus.

Have you heard of the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?
They stopped at nothing to avoid them!


Wanna hear a good one?

My life
Original post by Loci Pi
Has anyone got any maths jokes?

Here's some:

I got in a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me!

Why do statisticians know about everyone?
They census.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. The 1st orders a beer, the 2nd orders 1/2 of a beer, the 3rd orders a 1/4 of a beer, and so on. The bartender gives the mathematicians 2 beers. The mathematicians don't look satisfied with the 2 beers. Then the bartender says "Know your limits. Don't drink and derive!".

Why was the maths teacher late for work?
They got on the rhombus.

Have you heard of the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?
They stopped at nothing to avoid them!


Unable to post anything else.

This thread is inextensible
Original post by Loci Pi
Has anyone got any maths jokes?

Here's some:

I got in a fight with the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me!

Why do statisticians know about everyone?
They census.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar. The 1st orders a beer, the 2nd orders 1/2 of a beer, the 3rd orders a 1/4 of a beer, and so on. The bartender gives the mathematicians 2 beers. The mathematicians don't look satisfied with the 2 beers. Then the bartender says "Know your limits. Don't drink and derive!".

Why was the maths teacher late for work?
They got on the rhombus.

Have you heard of the mathematician that was afraid of negative numbers?
They stopped at nothing to avoid them!


You should go buy a pet snake.
I derived that python isn't a bad species.

Wheres your proof?
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 17
Pythagoras walks into a bar and says "If a right angled triangle has a short side of x, a long side of y, and a hypotenuse of z, then the square of z must be equal to the sum of the square of x and the square of..... umm...uh.....". Pythagoras forgets what he is going to say and looks disappointed.

The bartender replies "Y the long face?".
What did the Right Angle Triangle say to the Square, Sin the Tan Cos your 1/4 / 360 and still in the 90's

What did the Right Angle Triangle say to the Square, Sign the Tan (Transaction Authentication Number) cause your 4 / 360 and = 90

Autistic sense of humor, I am not great at jokes.

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