Boyfriend wants to meet up with a girl he met on twitter...help!
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Original post by Anonymous
I trust him enough to know he wouldn't DO anything but I fear this girl will get the wrong idea and try something anyway. Idk my head is a mess lol
If you're confident that he won't do anything you should surely be confident enough to know that if she tries something he'll turn her down, no?
Original post by Retired_Messiah
If you're confident that he won't do anything you should surely be confident enough to know that if she tries something he'll turn her down, no?
True, you're right. I just hate the idea of anything like that happening, even if he does turn her down. The whole thing just makes me uncomfortable af
Original post by Foo.mp3
Yes, you can 
How, without being controlling?
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend has a friend who he speaks to occasionally on twitter, and they share similar interests. He told me yesterday that they're planning on meeting up and going to see a film together (which I've already seen with him). He told me about this as if he was asking for permission...I'm not comfortable with it really but I can't tell him not to go. I don't know this girl and what her intentions are so it leaves me anxious.Am I right to feel weird about this? How do I approach the situation?
I think its good he told you he was seeing a girl
If you don't feel comfortable then tell him
Original post by AlexS101
He's told you about it. If he was planning on doing 'things' with her he wouldn't have bothered.
Not necessarily true.
OP, let him. Ultimately if you say no then he'll think you're controlling and grow to resent you. If you trust him not to do anything then let him meet her, hopefully she views it as an innocent meet too. Or, if she does try anything then he'll hopefully set her straight and let you know. I know how *****y and hard LDRs can be.
If you are not ok with it then say no! thats your right as the girlfriend
most women would find that a bit odd in the same way as most men would not be comfortable with his girlfriend meeting a random man either
whats he going to do - break up with you? meet her anyways? if he values your relationship he'll listen
if he doesn't then he won't
and if he doesn't then its time to break up
most women would find that a bit odd in the same way as most men would not be comfortable with his girlfriend meeting a random man either
whats he going to do - break up with you? meet her anyways? if he values your relationship he'll listen
if he doesn't then he won't
and if he doesn't then its time to break up
Original post by Precious Illusions
Not necessarily true.
OP, let him. Ultimately if you say no then he'll think you're controlling and grow to resent you. If you trust him not to do anything then let him meet her, hopefully she views it as an innocent meet too. Or, if she does try anything then he'll hopefully set her straight and let you know. I know how *****y and hard LDRs can be.
OP, let him. Ultimately if you say no then he'll think you're controlling and grow to resent you. If you trust him not to do anything then let him meet her, hopefully she views it as an innocent meet too. Or, if she does try anything then he'll hopefully set her straight and let you know. I know how *****y and hard LDRs can be.
I don't want to seem ok about this situation but at the same time, it's not up to me. I guess really, I'm scared that this girl will end up meeting up with my boyf in the future more than I do - just sucks to be in a LDR and barely see him.
Original post by Allie4
If you are not ok with it then say no! thats your right as the girlfriend
most women would find that a bit odd in the same way as most men would not be comfortable with his girlfriend meeting a random man either
whats he going to do - break up with you? meet her anyways? if he values your relationship he'll listen
if he doesn't then he won't
and if he doesn't then its time to break up
most women would find that a bit odd in the same way as most men would not be comfortable with his girlfriend meeting a random man either
whats he going to do - break up with you? meet her anyways? if he values your relationship he'll listen
if he doesn't then he won't
and if he doesn't then its time to break up
I wish I could but I don't want the relationship to turn into me controlling who he can see
Original post by Anonymous
I don't want to seem ok about this situation but at the same time, it's not up to me. I guess really, I'm scared that this girl will end up meeting up with my boyf in the future more than I do - just sucks to be in a LDR and barely see him.
Yeah I completely get that. It's really difficult being so far away from the one you love. The thing is, if it was a guy he was going to meet then I doubt you'd have any objection. So if you said 'no it's not okay' then he'll see it as you not trusting him, even though it's more that you don't trust this girl you don't know. And it's so **** because explaining that stuff over the phone/through text always comes off as worse than it would if you could actually talk in person. Ultimately you just have to trust him, she may get to see him more but YOU'RE the one he's with.
Original post by Anonymous
I wish I could but I don't want the relationship to turn into me controlling who he can see
This is totally different, its not like you are telling him he can't see his friends. You are telling him he can't meet a strange woman he met online
There are certain rules and regulations to every relationship which he should have been aware of from the start and being alone with a girl who is not his girlfriend is one of them
Honestly put yourself in his shoes, imagine you were talking to a guy online who you share similar interests in and he wants to meet with you - just you - and go to the cinema, what do you think your boyfriend would say if you told him that?
He didn't even invite you along which is what a decent boyfriend would have done
And you're clearly not ok with it. If I was you I'd put my foot down. I think its perfectly ok in a situation like that. Remember if you let him meet her once he'll want to meet her again and again, I know you want to trust him... but this is just dangerous territory.
The girl might blackmail him too and extort money.. So be careful
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
thats kinda weird - and he should really think about how you'd think.
yeah like someone said above, i think you should say you're doing the same with a friend from school or uni or whatever tbh and see how he feels
yeah like someone said above, i think you should say you're doing the same with a friend from school or uni or whatever tbh and see how he feels
Girl i totally feel you i'm in a LDR and get completely paranoid all the time unfortunately (that's just who i am) and while you do have to accept that he'll have friends that are girls (as my boyfriend does too) you have to let him know that there are boundaries, just check up on him I'm sure it will all be fine 
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend has a friend who he speaks to occasionally on twitter, and they share similar interests. He told me yesterday that they're planning on meeting up and going to see a film together (which I've already seen with him). He told me about this as if he was asking for permission...I'm not comfortable with it really but I can't tell him not to go. I don't know this girl and what her intentions are so it leaves me anxious. Am I right to feel weird about this? How do I approach the situation?
I think you should trust him and let him go. If you are worried about him getting close to her or not trusting him enough to reject her (if she does make a move) - then let me ask you this: what's different? As soon as you got into this LDR relationship, you knew of the risks it would have.
There is always that constant worry. But what should really matter is that it has withstood! All the troubles you two as a couple have gone through, during the 2 year relationship should mean something. So don't jump to conclusions, get jumpy or controlling but have a little faith. As being clingy, might edge him to do something that he never really wanted to do in the first place. Just tell him how much he matters to you, your concerns and that you trust him (even if you necessarily don't). Sometimes, when you declare your trust they will want to uphold it as much as they can because they will feel happy that you trust them.Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend has a friend who he speaks to occasionally on twitter, and they share similar interests. He told me yesterday that they're planning on meeting up and going to see a film together (which I've already seen with him). He told me about this as if he was asking for permission...I'm not comfortable with it really but I can't tell him not to go. I don't know this girl and what her intentions are so it leaves me anxious.Am I right to feel weird about this? How do I approach the situation?
OK at first I was saying "Could be platonic" I think some half of my friends are girls. Doesn't mean I fancy em
Original post by Anonymous
I was thinking about this...like if I wanted to meet up with some boy I'd been talking to through twitter, he'd be so jealous.
This however is bit..errrrr... If he's not fine with you seeing guy friends, then well I can't see why you should have to be OK with him seeing girl mates too.
Hopefully, you read this.
He was essentially asking permission to go out on a date, but tbh it seems like he already made plans to do so and just wondering what you think out of respect for you and he might feel guilty if he kept it from you. Without a doubt, he likes you and possibly sees a future with you (although, maybe he is losing interest in you especially since its been over 2 years idk), but he is interested in getting to know this new girl as they have common interests. They have been communicating for a while now and he WANTS to see her. She could be interesting, funny, smart, attractive etc and honestly, there could be some sort of attraction there. Idk your bf or how that date would go, but I don't think he would cheat on you tbh. BUT a seed of thought of "what if?" (like what if she is the one for example) could be planted in his mind, making him think about her a lot. So definitely, you have every right to feel uncomfortable about this situation and the fact that your instincts is telling you that something is off, then you're going to have to let him know. I mean, he is basically going on a date with another girl to go and watch a movie he has ALREADY seen with you, his girlfriend, wtf?? Like did he miss parts of the movie when he watched it with you or what? That part irritated me. If he pays for her ticket too, that would definitely be a date. And what if they get hungry - next stop Nando's - they joke around, flirt a little then boom! He likes her. I feel weird about it and I would tell him that I don't want him to go, but that's just me and it can sound like I'm controlling him but if it was the other way round I guarantee you that he would get jealous. Does the girl know he has a gf? If so I think he should introduce you both and you all become friends, idk let him give her your snapchat or something since its LDR. Idk what her motive is, so that would irritate me a little as well. The thing is and what I know you're afraid of, is that the slightest spark of interest ignited in him for her, could potentially make him end your long lasting 2 year relationship - and its all because of a girl he met on Twitter smh. I would hate that and I know you trust him, or you want to show that you do and also show that your not controlling, but don't be naive. Don't go ahead believing that because he has been with you for 2 years that he would not want to be with someone else. He can end the relationship for someone he finds himself really attracted to and has a connection with (and sees a lot more often in person as he probably would see her again). But Idk him so I can't say with a certainty what he would or wouldn't do. However, I would suggest that you communicate what you think about him going to meet this girl and how it makes YOU feel. One thing your bf should want is to not make you feel uncomfortable in any way, so he should prioritise you more than the girl and care about your opinion on the matter a lot more. Besides, there are other people he could be friends with, what's so special about this girl?
Posted from TSR Mobile
He was essentially asking permission to go out on a date, but tbh it seems like he already made plans to do so and just wondering what you think out of respect for you and he might feel guilty if he kept it from you. Without a doubt, he likes you and possibly sees a future with you (although, maybe he is losing interest in you especially since its been over 2 years idk), but he is interested in getting to know this new girl as they have common interests. They have been communicating for a while now and he WANTS to see her. She could be interesting, funny, smart, attractive etc and honestly, there could be some sort of attraction there. Idk your bf or how that date would go, but I don't think he would cheat on you tbh. BUT a seed of thought of "what if?" (like what if she is the one for example) could be planted in his mind, making him think about her a lot. So definitely, you have every right to feel uncomfortable about this situation and the fact that your instincts is telling you that something is off, then you're going to have to let him know. I mean, he is basically going on a date with another girl to go and watch a movie he has ALREADY seen with you, his girlfriend, wtf?? Like did he miss parts of the movie when he watched it with you or what? That part irritated me. If he pays for her ticket too, that would definitely be a date. And what if they get hungry - next stop Nando's - they joke around, flirt a little then boom! He likes her. I feel weird about it and I would tell him that I don't want him to go, but that's just me and it can sound like I'm controlling him but if it was the other way round I guarantee you that he would get jealous. Does the girl know he has a gf? If so I think he should introduce you both and you all become friends, idk let him give her your snapchat or something since its LDR. Idk what her motive is, so that would irritate me a little as well. The thing is and what I know you're afraid of, is that the slightest spark of interest ignited in him for her, could potentially make him end your long lasting 2 year relationship - and its all because of a girl he met on Twitter smh. I would hate that and I know you trust him, or you want to show that you do and also show that your not controlling, but don't be naive. Don't go ahead believing that because he has been with you for 2 years that he would not want to be with someone else. He can end the relationship for someone he finds himself really attracted to and has a connection with (and sees a lot more often in person as he probably would see her again). But Idk him so I can't say with a certainty what he would or wouldn't do. However, I would suggest that you communicate what you think about him going to meet this girl and how it makes YOU feel. One thing your bf should want is to not make you feel uncomfortable in any way, so he should prioritise you more than the girl and care about your opinion on the matter a lot more. Besides, there are other people he could be friends with, what's so special about this girl?
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And I wouldn't suggest that because of this that you then go ahead and start trying to make some guy friends to make him jealous. Because that is quite immature, but honesty here is key so just talk to him and that way your relationship becomes stronger as you build trust. If he is not up for listening or caring about your feelings, then it's honestly time to let go.
I have typed a lot but I just hope this helps. Xx
Posted from TSR Mobile
I have typed a lot but I just hope this helps. Xx
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Cherish03
Hopefully, you read this.
He was essentially asking permission to go out on a date, but tbh it seems like he already made plans to do so and just wondering what you think out of respect for you and he might feel guilty if he kept it from you. Without a doubt, he likes you and possibly sees a future with you (although, maybe he is losing interest in you especially since its been over 2 years idk), but he is interested in getting to know this new girl as they have common interests. They have been communicating for a while now and he WANTS to see her. She could be interesting, funny, smart, attractive etc and honestly, there could be some sort of attraction there. Idk your bf or how that date would go, but I don't think he would cheat on you tbh. BUT a seed of thought of "what if?" (like what if she is the one for example) could be planted in his mind, making him think about her a lot. So definitely, you have every right to feel uncomfortable about this situation and the fact that your instincts is telling you that something is off, then you're going to have to let him know. I mean, he is basically going on a date with another girl to go and watch a movie he has ALREADY seen with you, his girlfriend, wtf?? Like did he miss parts of the movie when he watched it with you or what? That part irritated me. If he pays for her ticket too, that would definitely be a date. And what if they get hungry - next stop Nando's - they joke around, flirt a little then boom! He likes her. I feel weird about it and I would tell him that I don't want him to go, but that's just me and it can sound like I'm controlling him but if it was the other way round I guarantee you that he would get jealous. Does the girl know he has a gf? If so I think he should introduce you both and you all become friends, idk let him give her your snapchat or something since its LDR. Idk what her motive is, so that would irritate me a little as well. The thing is and what I know you're afraid of, is that the slightest spark of interest ignited in him for her, could potentially make him end your long lasting 2 year relationship - and its all because of a girl he met on Twitter smh. I would hate that and I know you trust him, or you want to show that you do and also show that your not controlling, but don't be naive. Don't go ahead believing that because he has been with you for 2 years that he would not want to be with someone else. He can end the relationship for someone he finds himself really attracted to and has a connection with (and sees a lot more often in person as he probably would see her again). But Idk him so I can't say with a certainty what he would or wouldn't do. However, I would suggest that you communicate what you think about him going to meet this girl and how it makes YOU feel. One thing your bf should want is to not make you feel uncomfortable in any way, so he should prioritise you more than the girl and care about your opinion on the matter a lot more. Besides, there are other people he could be friends with, what's so special about this girl?
He was essentially asking permission to go out on a date, but tbh it seems like he already made plans to do so and just wondering what you think out of respect for you and he might feel guilty if he kept it from you. Without a doubt, he likes you and possibly sees a future with you (although, maybe he is losing interest in you especially since its been over 2 years idk), but he is interested in getting to know this new girl as they have common interests. They have been communicating for a while now and he WANTS to see her. She could be interesting, funny, smart, attractive etc and honestly, there could be some sort of attraction there. Idk your bf or how that date would go, but I don't think he would cheat on you tbh. BUT a seed of thought of "what if?" (like what if she is the one for example) could be planted in his mind, making him think about her a lot. So definitely, you have every right to feel uncomfortable about this situation and the fact that your instincts is telling you that something is off, then you're going to have to let him know. I mean, he is basically going on a date with another girl to go and watch a movie he has ALREADY seen with you, his girlfriend, wtf?? Like did he miss parts of the movie when he watched it with you or what? That part irritated me. If he pays for her ticket too, that would definitely be a date. And what if they get hungry - next stop Nando's - they joke around, flirt a little then boom! He likes her. I feel weird about it and I would tell him that I don't want him to go, but that's just me and it can sound like I'm controlling him but if it was the other way round I guarantee you that he would get jealous. Does the girl know he has a gf? If so I think he should introduce you both and you all become friends, idk let him give her your snapchat or something since its LDR. Idk what her motive is, so that would irritate me a little as well. The thing is and what I know you're afraid of, is that the slightest spark of interest ignited in him for her, could potentially make him end your long lasting 2 year relationship - and its all because of a girl he met on Twitter smh. I would hate that and I know you trust him, or you want to show that you do and also show that your not controlling, but don't be naive. Don't go ahead believing that because he has been with you for 2 years that he would not want to be with someone else. He can end the relationship for someone he finds himself really attracted to and has a connection with (and sees a lot more often in person as he probably would see her again). But Idk him so I can't say with a certainty what he would or wouldn't do. However, I would suggest that you communicate what you think about him going to meet this girl and how it makes YOU feel. One thing your bf should want is to not make you feel uncomfortable in any way, so he should prioritise you more than the girl and care about your opinion on the matter a lot more. Besides, there are other people he could be friends with, what's so special about this girl?
Ikr, travelling to see this girl to watch a film together that he's already seen, like he obviously wants to get to know her. It does feel like a date and that's what's upsetting me - I just keep imagining little awkward romantic moments they might have which honestly makes me feel a bit sick.
I have no idea whether this girl knows that he has a gf. They snapchat eachother and I've been on his story a few times but I don't know if he's actually said anything about me to her. I'm guessing she must be aware??? If she was the one who asked him to meet up, it just makes it so inappropriate to do this, with the knowledge that he has a gf. I really don't understand why she would feel it was right to suggest this (if it was her)?
I think we'll be skyping tonight so I'll bring it up at some point, but we've already talked about it a lot and he knows I'm unhappy about it - at the moment he's not sure whether to go, but I think that's just because of my initial reaction. I know lots of people on here have said that I should just let him go and meet her, but I just can't shake the feeling that someone weird would happen between them. I hate to feel like I'm being controlling, but maybe I should put my foot down?
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