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...I've completely degraded myself

I'm so lonely that I've began exchanging numbers with strangers online (incl TSR) and in clubs etc.
These are guys that are sexually into me. I am not attracted to any of them. I am in a relationship and most are just perverted creeps.

I feel quite dirty and disgusting for it because these guys are obviously just using me to get off. They've sent me pics etc. Though I don't share anything sexual.

I just want people to chat to, I'm really lonely. :s-smilie:

How do I stop myself from going down this route?
Pls help me.

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If I could give you a bit of a platonic hug I would. This was very sad to read.

Please do think about who you share you number with - there's an awful lot of weirdos out there, and you really don't want to get yourself in a position. What about friends in real life - how's that for you?
Reply 2
Avatar for Ciel.
Ciel.
21
Original post by Anonymous
I'm so lonely that I've began exchanging numbers with strangers online (incl TSR) and in clubs etc.
These are guys that are sexually into me. I am not attracted to any of them. I am in a relationship and most are just perverted creeps.

I feel quite dirty and disgusting for it because these guys are obviously just using me to get off. They've sent me pics etc. Though I don't share anything sexual.

I just want people to chat to, I'm really lonely.

How do I stop myself from going down this route?
Pls help me.

Then talk to girls or gays.
You are obviously aware of the fact that straight guys you've met aren't interested in being friends.
Reply 3
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Reality Check
If I could give you a bit of a platonic hug I would. This was very sad to read.

Please do think about who you share you number with - there's an awful lot of weirdos out there, and you really don't want to get yourself in a position. What about friends in real life - how's that for you?


Thanks xx

I want to block them, I've blocked a few but I feel bad blocking people because i genuinely act very nice and friendly to them. :frown: Anything I can do to get over that?I'm worried about what they would think of me if i did.

I struggle to keep contact with friends in real life because of mental health. I made loads of friends during freshers but I eventually stopped going in. If you don't go in you naturally loose touch with people.
Reply 4
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Ciel.
Then talk to girls or gays.
You are obviously aware of the fact that straight guys you've met aren't interested in being friends.


I think if they're not interested in me sexually they wouldn't want to be around me.Using that as a way to talk to people. :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
I think if they're not interested in me sexually they wouldn't want to be around me.Using that as a way to talk to people.


Become a more interesting person then, go get a hobby. Make yourself someone people want to talk to and not just ****

Spoiler

Original post by Anonymous
I'm so lonely that I've began exchanging numbers with strangers online (incl TSR) and in clubs etc.
These are guys that are sexually into me. I am not attracted to any of them. I am in a relationship and most are just perverted creeps.

I feel quite dirty and disgusting for it because these guys are obviously just using me to get off. They've sent me pics etc. Though I don't share anything sexual.

I just want people to chat to, I'm really lonely.

How do I stop myself from going down this route?
Pls help me.

Don't talk to those kinda ppl?

Talk to me :biggrin: i'll be a pebble :smile:
Original post by Ciel.
Then talk to girls or gays.
You are obviously aware of the fact that straight guys you've met aren't interested in being friends.

feels good to be straight and not use anyone for that purpose, not in real life.
Reply 7
Avatar for mkap
mkap
20
did you say you was in a relationship? Does your boyfriend not be there for you emotionally?
Reply 8
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Zargabaath
Become a more interesting person then, go get a hobby. Make yourself someone people want to talk to and not just ****

Spoiler




thanks for your suggestion. i completely agree. The only thing is i don't have a 'basic' personality at all. it's sad cus people who are 'basic' tend to do better than me. :frown:
i dont watch tv. i only watch films
i have plenty of hobbies- backpacking, reading, sports, gigs, alternative subcultures and fashion, poetry, art, philosophy, spirituality, politics and social justice etc.
I've been told I have a 'refreshing'/ 'loud' personality. the issue is not actually making friends, i can do that. its more about keeping touch with people i make friends with. not easy to do if you struggle to leave your house.
Reply 9
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by will'o'wisp
Don't talk to those kinda ppl?

Talk to me i'll be a pebble

feels good to be straight and not use anyone for that purpose, not in real life.


you're a good guy :smile:
Reply 10
Avatar for Ciel.
Ciel.
21
Original post by Anonymous
I think if they're not interested in me sexually they wouldn't want to be around me.Using that as a way to talk to people.

That's just silly. I think that you simply enjoy the feeling of being 'wanted'. Nothing wrong with that,I can be like that too sometimes, but if that's the case, that line 'I just want people to chat to, I'm really lonely'
is a lie. I don't think 'I want to **** your brains out' would make you feel less emotionally lonely.

Original post by will'o'wisp
Don't talk to those kinda ppl?

Talk to me i'll be a pebble

feels good to be straight and not use anyone for that purpose, not in real life.


How is being purely friends with someone using them?
Original post by mkap
did you say you was in a relationship? Does your boyfriend not be there for you emotionally?


Hes cold and distant, doesn't want to make it emotional. I'm not good enough for him and i will never be. he deserves so much better. He deserves the world.
I'm a man and I have the same problem. I find it extremely difficult to make friends with other guys. It's almost as if I find it easier talking to a girl and getting her into my bed than making actual friends. As soon as they put their clothes on and leave I feel lonely again...and then I end up back on Tinder or picking up girls on a night out again. Since I've started uni there have literally been some days where I've had 2 or 3 girls round in the same day.
Dann it. Kind of the story of my life. I do this too.
I guess I just want to let you know that you are not alone Although this is definitely not very healthy.
I'll come back to this post and give you some advice later on.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm so lonely that I've began exchanging numbers with strangers online (incl TSR) and in clubs etc.
These are guys that are sexually into me. I am not attracted to any of them. I am in a relationship and most are just perverted creeps.

I feel quite dirty and disgusting for it because these guys are obviously just using me to get off. They've sent me pics etc. Though I don't share anything sexual.

I just want people to chat to, I'm really lonely.

How do I stop myself from going down this route?
Pls help me.


I would just stop it as its a bit corrosive and is likely to make you more depressed.
Why not take up a hobby or do some voluntary work that gets you out socialising and meeting people?
Original post by Anonymous
thanks for your suggestion. i completely agree. The only thing is i don't have a 'basic' personality at all. it's sad cus people who are 'basic' tend to do better than me.
i dont watch tv. i only watch films
i have plenty of hobbies- backpacking, reading, sports, gigs, alternative subcultures and fashion, poetry, art, philosophy, spirituality, politics and social justice etc.
I've been told I have a 'refreshing'/ 'loud' personality. the issue is not actually making friends, i can do that. its more about keeping touch with people i make friends with. not easy to do if you struggle to leave your house.


Get kik, talk to them on kik. Trust me, it works wonders for social anxiety. Do you have friends on TSR? Talk to them on kik, the skills transfer to real life.
Also I missed the part about you having a partner, stop messaging dodgy guys you know who're only after sex. If not for respect for yourself, for respect of them. I know you have self worth problems and I understand, but there's no excuse to treat your partner like that.
Original post by Ciel.
That's just silly. I think that you simply enjoy the feeling of being 'wanted'. Nothing wrong with that,I can be like that too sometimes, but if that's the case, that line 'I just want people to chat to, I'm really lonely'
is a lie. I don't think 'I want to **** your brains out' would make you feel less emotionally lonely.



How is being purely friends with someone using them?


I want to be wanted by friends and i want to be wanted by my bf.

Nights when i feel unwanted i just want attention from whoever i can get it from.But the sexual side of that makes me feel physically nauseous. im not into it at all.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm a man and I have the same problem. I find it extremely difficult to make friends with other guys. It's almost as if I find it easier talking to a girl and getting her into my bed than making actual friends. As soon as they put their clothes on and leave I feel lonely again...and then I end up back on Tinder or picking up girls on a night out again. Since I've started uni there have literally been some days where I've had 2 or 3 girls round in the same day.


Original post by Anonymous
Dann it. Kind of the story of my life. I do this too.
I guess I just want to let you know that you are not alone Although this is definitely not very healthy.
I'll come back to this post and give you some advice later on.


Thanks both for your contributions , glad to know there are others who understand, and that there are also guys going through something similar.

Original post by Zargabaath
Get kik, talk to them on kik. Trust me, it works wonders for social anxiety. Do you have friends on TSR? Talk to them on kik, the skills transfer to real life.
Also I missed the part about you having a partner, stop messaging dodgy guys you know who're only after sex. If not for respect for yourself, for respect of them. I know you have self worth problems and I understand, but there's no excuse to treat your partner like that.


thanks will check out kik. i agree. ironically its my partner who has lead me down this route. He is abusive and he has harmed me in many ways, only problem is that i love him more than life itself. so instead of taking it out on him, i take it out on myself.
Original post by Anonymous

thanks will check out kik. i agree. ironically its my partner who has lead me down this route. He is abusive and he has harmed me in many ways, only problem is that i love him more than life itself. so instead of taking it out on him, i take it out on myself.


Then you need to get help. How old are you? Are you at uni?
Do you think it's only because of your relationship that you're not having the freedom to show others what you're like? You describe a version of yourself that anyone would be happy to be around

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