Do you think I should be forced to take part in my familys religious events
Today they have invited some kind of holy man to do prayers in my house and they wanted me to join them saying they would really like it if I joined them. My family know im atheist I always firmly reject doing anything religious yet they always ask me and then try to guilt me into joining them even though I never will. You always here people saying respect my beliefs, people need to respect non-beliefs too.
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Original post by not light
Today they have invited some kind of holy man to do prayers in my house and they wanted me to join them saying they would really like it if I joined them. My family know im atheist I always firmly reject doing anything religious yet they always ask me and then try to guilt me into joining them even though I never will. You always here people saying respect my beliefs, people need to respect non-beliefs too.
I don't think so, I think you should be able to do what you want.
No you shouldn't be forced to at all,I d get out of there as soon as you can they clearly don't respect your beliefs.
Original post by not light
Today they have invited some kind of holy man to do prayers in my house and they wanted me to join them saying they would really like it if I joined them. My family know im atheist I always firmly reject doing anything religious yet they always ask me and then try to guilt me into joining them even though I never will. You always here people saying respect my beliefs, people need to respect non-beliefs too.
I'm atheist. I attend religious ceremonies (I've got religious friends), eat/drink, give gifts but don't participate in the rituals. My friends respect my atheism.
Yet some religious nut jobs try every way to try to convert me. I accompanied a girl on the bus home (becoz its too late for her go alone) and she grabbed the opportunity to go on (and on) about how my life would be better if I let Jesus in. I had to tell her to respect my beliefs or she can go home on her own. She shut up and I took her to her doorstep but I bet she told all her mates I was sh*tty to her the next day & I'll burn in hell for it.
When you tell them you're atheist they will latch onto you and be very persistent to make you one of them. Be persistent back and keep saying no until they get it.
Your parents shouldn't guilt trip you - that's blatant disregard for your beliefs and you as a person. I think you should be stronger in saying no, and if they still pressure you, grab your coat/money and physically leave your house until the religious prayer /service ends before returning. Stay the night at a friend's place if poss. Repeat until they get it.
Might want to consider moving out into your own place.
(edited 7 years ago)
I think if you live in your parents house, you should be prepared to take part in family events.....even if you don't give a crap emotionally.
Original post by michaeldeport
I think if you live in your parents house, you should be prepared to take part in family events.....even if you don't give a crap emotionally.
That would just encourage them to force religion on some one who clearly doesn't want it. Even if it is parents' house there has to be point in the person's life where they should be allowed to choose their beliefs.
What if the parents want a religious arranged marriage and the kids to be brought up in the religion?
Original post by ThePricklyOne
That would just encourage them to force religion on some one who clearly doesn't want it. Even if it is parents' house there has to be point in the person's life where they should be allowed to choose their beliefs.
What if the parents want a religious arranged marriage and the kids to be brought up in the religion?
What if the parents want a religious arranged marriage and the kids to be brought up in the religion?
It's just a ritual, make what you want of it, you don't have to believe anything going on.....just show some respect for people that do.
It doesn't force anything on anyone.
Original post by michaeldeport
It's just a ritual, make what you want of it, you don't have to believe anything going on.....just show some respect for people that do.
It doesn't force anything on anyone.
It doesn't force anything on anyone.
You clearly haven't read the OP's post. It's the OP's beliefs that's being disrespected and he's being forced to participate in rituals.
If religious folks want people to respect their faith, they should start respecting other people's beliefs / non-belief.
(edited 7 years ago)
No, you are your own person 🌟
Original post by ThePricklyOne
You clearly haven't read the OP's post. It's the OP's beliefs that's being disrespected and he's being forced to participate in rituals.
If religious folks want people to respect their religion, they should start respecting other people's beliefs / non-belief. The family clearly don't respect that and are forcing religion on the OP.
If religious folks want people to respect their religion, they should start respecting other people's beliefs / non-belief. The family clearly don't respect that and are forcing religion on the OP.
OP lives with his parents, OP is not financially independent, the world outside is expensive and OP needs a shelter.....therefore OP should put up or shut up
If OP doesn't care about religion, why does it matter if he participates. He might as well make his family happy from a respect point of view.
OP can choose what he wants to believe in or not, we'll all find out when we die what the truth is.
And tbh this is such a petty problem, just do the ritual OP and then go back to whatever you do. This problem must literally take up 0.000001% of your life.
Original post by claireestelle
No you shouldn't be forced to at all,I d get out of there as soon as you can they clearly don't respect your beliefs.
Get out of there?
No offence, but I've seen some of your posts regarding these kind of situations. You seem to like to throw the toys out of the pram, sort of like a homewrecker.
Now no offence to you, but that is not the attitude in life. The world outside is expensive, nasty at times and tough, you want OP to just walk out and fend for himself. I know some western people live by this mentality, ditch their kids and parents, but you will find family is the MOST IMPORTANT thing for a lot of asian families.
OP needs to put up and shut up until he can financially support himself.
And OP if you want to take the advice of idiots and walk out over such a petty matter, good luck.
Your family are the only people in this world who give two *****s about you, you need to be aware of that.
Your family are the only people in this world who give two *****s about you, you need to be aware of that.
Original post by michaeldeport
OP lives with his parents, OP is not financially independent, the world outside is expensive and OP needs a shelter.....therefore OP should put up or shut up
If OP doesn't care about religion, why does it matter if he participates. He might as well make his family happy from a respect point of view.
OP can choose what he wants to believe in or not, we'll all find out when we die what the truth is.
If OP doesn't care about religion, why does it matter if he participates. He might as well make his family happy from a respect point of view.
OP can choose what he wants to believe in or not, we'll all find out when we die what the truth is.
Doesn't matter. Above a certain age OP is adult.
Why don't the family make the OP happy by respecting his choices?
Or religion demands respect while respecting nobody.
Double standards, no?
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by michaeldeport
And OP if you want to take the advice of idiots and walk out over such a petty matter, good luck.
Your family are the only people in this world who give two *****s about you, you need to be aware of that.
Your family are the only people in this world who give two *****s about you, you need to be aware of that.
This family clearly doesn't. But you don't care as long as religion wins.
Original post by michaeldeport
Get out of there?
No offence, but I've seen some of your posts regarding these kind of situations. You seem to like to throw the toys out of the pram, sort of like a homewrecker.
Now no offence to you, but that is not the attitude in life. The world outside is expensive, nasty at times and tough, you want OP to just walk out and fend for himself. I know some western people live by this mentality, ditch their kids and parents, but you will find family is the MOST IMPORTANT thing for a lot of asian families.
OP needs to put up and shut up until he can financially support himself.
No offence, but I've seen some of your posts regarding these kind of situations. You seem to like to throw the toys out of the pram, sort of like a homewrecker.
Now no offence to you, but that is not the attitude in life. The world outside is expensive, nasty at times and tough, you want OP to just walk out and fend for himself. I know some western people live by this mentality, ditch their kids and parents, but you will find family is the MOST IMPORTANT thing for a lot of asian families.
OP needs to put up and shut up until he can financially support himself.
At least our position is clear. I haven't faked a western username to trick the OP.
The home is already wrecked. Guilt tripping isn't going to put it back together.
Family is not the most important thing if family abuses the trust the child places in them. Abusive family = no family.
(edited 7 years ago)
Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.
I don't think your parents or you are doing anything wrong here.
They are not forcing you to do anything. They asked you to join in and you refused.That is very different from coercion where people suffer or are threatened with violence, being disowned etc. You have it very easy compared to many who reject their parents religious beliefs.
What you are going through is just a normal part of growing up. Everyone has these sorts of conflicts with their parents when they don't conform to their parents expectations.
May be your parents don't approve of your choice of uni course or job or partner. It could be for selfish reasons or because they want the best for you. The point is, on the path to becoming an independent adult you are going to make choices that your parents don't like.
It's not easy but you just need to put your foot down. Your parents won't like it, they may be disappointed and may try to make you change your mind.
But eventually, if you stick to the guns, they will realise that you're not going to change your mind, that you are your own person and that they have no choice but to get over it.
They are not forcing you to do anything. They asked you to join in and you refused.That is very different from coercion where people suffer or are threatened with violence, being disowned etc. You have it very easy compared to many who reject their parents religious beliefs.
What you are going through is just a normal part of growing up. Everyone has these sorts of conflicts with their parents when they don't conform to their parents expectations.
May be your parents don't approve of your choice of uni course or job or partner. It could be for selfish reasons or because they want the best for you. The point is, on the path to becoming an independent adult you are going to make choices that your parents don't like.
It's not easy but you just need to put your foot down. Your parents won't like it, they may be disappointed and may try to make you change your mind.
But eventually, if you stick to the guns, they will realise that you're not going to change your mind, that you are your own person and that they have no choice but to get over it.
Original post by michaeldeport
Get out of there?
No offence, but I've seen some of your posts regarding these kind of situations. You seem to like to throw the toys out of the pram, sort of like a homewrecker.
Now no offence to you, but that is not the attitude in life. The world outside is expensive, nasty at times and tough, you want OP to just walk out and fend for himself. I know some western people live by this mentality, ditch their kids and parents, but you will find family is the MOST IMPORTANT thing for a lot of asian families.
OP needs to put up and shut up until he can financially support himself.
No offence, but I've seen some of your posts regarding these kind of situations. You seem to like to throw the toys out of the pram, sort of like a homewrecker.
Now no offence to you, but that is not the attitude in life. The world outside is expensive, nasty at times and tough, you want OP to just walk out and fend for himself. I know some western people live by this mentality, ditch their kids and parents, but you will find family is the MOST IMPORTANT thing for a lot of asian families.
OP needs to put up and shut up until he can financially support himself.
I know the world is nasty at times and expensive (i've had plenty of challenges in life to attest to that), but i stick by the fact that we never have any choice with who our family is but we do have the choice as to whether we spend time with people that make you uncomfortable, given the choice why live somewhere that makes you unhappy.
I guess most people disagree with my viewpoint that blood isnt everything and i struggle to understand why people put up with behaviour from their family that makes them unhappy, them being OP's family gives them no excuse to treat them this way. I m not saying immediately run but as soon as they have the cash for the sake of their mental and emotional health why not leave, as an adult i can't see why you shouldn't be planning to get of your family home when financially ready even when your not in an awkward circumstances.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by claireestelle
I know the world is nasty at times and expensive (i've had plenty of challenges in life to attest to that), but i stick by the fact that we never have any choice with who our family is but we do have the choice as to whether we spend time with people that make you uncomfortable, given the choice why live somewhere that makes you unhappy.
I guess most people disagree with my viewpoint that blood isnt everything and i struggle to understand why people put up with behaviour from their family that makes them unhappy, them being OP's family gives them no excuse to treat them this way. I m not saying immediately run but as soon as they have the cash for the sake of their mental and emotional health why not leave, as an adult i can't see why you shouldn't be planning to get of your family home when financially ready even when your not in an awkward circumstances.
I guess most people disagree with my viewpoint that blood isnt everything and i struggle to understand why people put up with behaviour from their family that makes them unhappy, them being OP's family gives them no excuse to treat them this way. I m not saying immediately run but as soon as they have the cash for the sake of their mental and emotional health why not leave, as an adult i can't see why you shouldn't be planning to get of your family home when financially ready even when your not in an awkward circumstances.
Agree with this
The OP should plan his exit.
I understand why people put up with ill treatment because they love their family, and the family use this to exert control over them. It's kind of like the tricks used by cults to control their followers.
The coercion and guilt tripping won't end until the OP moves out.
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