The Student Room Group

Do I have a right to be annoyed and upset with my housemates?

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Reply 100
Original post by Tubbz
He must be easier to live with then, because they've chosen his drug taking over you.

It clearly only bothers you in the house enough to say something, so either put up with it, or move out. They like him more than you, even with the choices he makes. Just because you don't have any where else to go, doesn't mean they should choose you over him.

What started out as you thinking you were in the right and they were back stabbing you now has seemingly brought out the fact they just don't like you that much


Well no, they do like me as we spend a lot of time together and have fun. We've been there for each other when we've needed it and we are good friends.
Reply 101
Original post by Luneth
Based on what, your own opinion? Have you considered that you aren't as good of a friend as you think you are, and that maybe you're just seeing something that isn't there?


Well they've told me that I'm a good friend and I've always been there when they've needed me and I've helped them through a lot
Reply 102
Original post by jake-1996
Well no, they do like me as we spend a lot of time together and have fun. We've been there for each other when we've needed it and we are good friends.


I didn't say they don't like you, I said they don't like you as much as him.

You made them choose between you and him, they chose him.
Original post by jake-1996
Well they've told me that I'm a good friend and I've always been there when they've needed me and I've helped them through a lot


You seem to be in denial about the situation and your own part in it.
Your expectation of people is obviously different from whats happening. You dont know them as well as you think you do.
Reply 104
In summary all these posts think you're being a bit ridiculous for giving your friends an ultimatum and it's clearly your fault that you are leaving the house, they are not kicking you out. You don't have a reason to be angry except with yourself. You don't seem to be accepting any of these messages though so it's really like talking to a brick wall. This thread can go on forever it doesn't look like you will realise you're the one who has done this to yourself and it isn't your friends so really is there any point in continuing? Do what you want and be angry with them if you want to be.
Reply 105
Original post by jake-1996
It's not really kicking him out. I'm talking s out when we need to find a new house for next year and he has other offers to live with a different group of people who he gets on with better than this house anyway. The way I see it is they will have no problem with getting me to leave so yeah I do feel like they've stabbed me in the back


Again, you issued a 'him or me' ultimatum. And is there any particular reason why they were obliged to choose your over him? Like, were you friends since childhood or just since uni? What's the deal?
If he is as bad as you describe him but 4 other housemates have chosen him over you who portrays herself as a good person, then your story doesnt add up.

Clearly they like him more and are so happy to get rid of you. Let that sink in. By the time your own "best friend" has chosen him over you, then you really need to review your life, It is you with the problem and they are happy to get rid of you for nagging and constantly complaining about things.

You cannot start poking your nose in people's business. If someone does drugs, I dont understand how that is your problem enough for you to be pissed off. This is university and they are adults. He is not a child for you to give him rules. When you live in shared spaces, people are bound to sue your stuff. Its life. No need to whine about it. It is that constant whining and complaining coupled with your temper issue that has made you homeless and friendless.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 107
Original post by ToussJ
Again, you issued a 'him or me' ultimatum. And is there any particular reason why they were obliged to choose your over him? Like, were you friends since childhood or just since uni? What's the deal?


Just since uni, but whenever any of them need help its me they come to. I have helped them out loads with a lot of issues they were having.
Reply 108
Original post by jake-1996
Just since uni, but whenever any of them need help its me they come to. I have helped them out loads with a lot of issues they were having.


Yet clearly him being the life of the party is more desirable.
Reply 109
Original post by LegalDiaries
If he is as bad as you describe him but 4 other housemates have chosen him over you who portrays herself as a good person, then your story doesnt add up.

Clearly they like him more and are so happy to get rid of you. Let that sink in. By the time your own "best friend" has chosen him over you, then you really need to review your life, It is you with the problem and they are happy to get rid of you for nagging and constantly complaining about things.

You cannot start poking your nose in people's business. If someone does drugs, I dont understand how that is your problem enough for you to be pissed off. This is university and they are adults. He is not a child for you to give him rules. When you live in shared spaces, people are bound to sue your stuff. Its life. No need to whine about it. It is that constant whining and complaining coupled with your temper issue that has made you homeless and friendless.


I'm not constantly complaining to them at all, it's just the fact I've helped them out a lot over the last year and have done so much for them that annoys me since they apparently don't care
Reply 110
Original post by Tubbz
Yet clearly him being the life of the party is more desirable.


He isn't even the life of the party most of the time, he just sits there miserable
Reply 111
Original post by jake-1996
He isn't even the life of the party most of the time, he just sits there miserable


So how much worse must you be if they chose him over you?

That's what you really need to ask yourself is if some coke sniffing, miserable, loser is more desirable as a housemate than you, what are you doing wrong?
Reply 112
Original post by jake-1996
Just since uni, but whenever any of them need help its me they come to. I have helped them out loads with a lot of issues they were having.


He may have helped them as well and you don't know. Point is, they aren't obliged to pick you.
Reply 113
Original post by ToussJ
He may have helped them as well and you don't know. Point is, they aren't obliged to pick you.


He hasn't helped them I know that's true, I've sat in hospital rooms with them when they are I'll, I've cared for them when they're feeling down and I've done a lot more. He saw that one of them was feeling down so tried to force Coke on her telling her it'll help when she suffers from a severe mental illness
Original post by jake-1996
I'm not constantly complaining to them at all, it's just the fact I've helped them out a lot over the last year and have done so much for them that annoys me since they apparently don't care


So since they do not care, why exactly do you want to force them to live with you when they dont really want to?

Living with someone is a voluntary arrangement. It is not forceful.

They don't want to live with you. They prefer someone else. Get it in your head. Move on. Stop complaining on TSR. Simple truth.
Original post by jake-1996
He hasn't helped them I know that's true, I've sat in hospital rooms with them when they are I'll, I've cared for them when they're feeling down and I've done a lot more. He saw that one of them was feeling down so tried to force Coke on her telling her it'll help when she suffers from a severe mental illness


You are constantly trying to portray this guy as a bad person even in this story.

Interestingly, 4 other housemates have chosen him over you.

Someone is lying! It is either you lying or the other 5 who are happy to live together.
The answer is obvious.
Reply 116
Original post by jake-1996
He hasn't helped them I know that's true, I've sat in hospital rooms with them when they are I'll, I've cared for them when they're feeling down and I've done a lot more. He saw that one of them was feeling down so tried to force Coke on her telling her it'll help when she suffers from a severe mental illness


All I'm saying is, just because you've helped them doesn't mean they're obliged to live with you. And you literally JUST said that one of them was feeling down and he tried to help.
Reply 117
Original post by ToussJ
All I'm saying is, just because you've helped them doesn't mean they're obliged to live with you. And you literally JUST said that one of them was feeling down and he tried to help.


I didn't say he tried to help, I said he tried to force drugs on her
Reply 118
Original post by jake-1996
I didn't say he tried to help, I said he tried to force drugs on her


Cocaine is actually quite well recorded as an effective anti-depressant. And again, the reason he tried to give it to her was because he thought it would make her feel better.
Reply 119
Original post by ToussJ
Cocaine is actually quite well recorded as an effective anti-depressant. And again, the reason he tried to give it to her was because he thought it would make her feel better.


It's not really trying to help by giving her drugs, there are other ways to help people with depression

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