Can you stay with someone who you aren't sexually attracted to?

Anonymous #1

Can you?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

if the money is good then maybe...

Reply 2

NoPunInThisName

I lost my sexual attraction to my ex- towards the tailing end of my last relationship, although it sure as heck helps no question, is THAT worth breaking up over?

After experiencing this, I'm not entirely convinced. Just give it some careful thought. Maybe you just need to reignite the spark that sees her/him sexually attractive again, however you go about that.

Reply 3

571122

No my friend, I don't think so. I stayed with someone like that for three years and I regretted it all. I lied to myself, telling the relationship could work but nope. Every time she needed sex, I would turn a boring look at her and 'not feel like it' and I wouldn't even be attracted to her body, about which she felt very offended. In fact, I was more interested in my new PC that got delivered home than her sexual provocations - that's how interested I was in her. I'm glad she broke up with me because guys usually don't know how to break up.

Don't lie to yourself and go for someone with whom you have a raging sexual attraction (but who is not an irresponsible person!).

Reply 4

Mezza362

I don't think so. I have met a consultant neurosurgeon and he is really ugly. He ears a lot of money and sometimes I think I should just stay and live a nice life but he is so ugly I can't even kiss him.

I could happil;y stay with someone with a good job who I didn't fancy but didn't find ugly though.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by 571122

Yeah I ask this question because something very similar happened to me like you described above. I broke up with him because I wasn't sexually attracted to him at all, he was a lovely person but I would really struggle to show affection or be intimate at all because it felt completely wrong, like I was trying to be sexual with a friend or brother :s-smilie:

I kept convincing myself it would work, looks fade etc, but I had to let it go because it was obviously impacting my behaviour around him a lot, and it wasn't fair on him either. Now I've found somebody else who I actually have a strong attraction to, and I feel all the butterflies and sparks that I never felt with the first guy.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Mezza362

Yeah I totally understand where you're coming from. I couldn't kiss my ex either, I would avoid it or say that I didn't want to get lipstick all over him or something. I just felt really bad, each time we met, I'd try to think differently about him, but I would just look at him and feel frustrated inside thinking 'why am I not attracted to you?' My life would've been a lot easier if I was haha.

With regards to money, I would rather stay with a man with less money as long as I had a strong emotional connection and physical attraction to him. I didn't grow up with a ton of money, but I have enough for the things I want and need, this amount satisfies me, so as long as I have a decent amount of money, I will be alright. I'd rather just have a normal, happy and loving relationship. :smile:

Reply 7

Danny the Geezer

I have to say if there's no physical spark then stay friends and always stay friends.

Reply 8

ManiReddy

I'd say its your duty to stay together. This is what marriage is about ultimately, the coming together of two families, rather than the desires of the two individuals.

Reply 9

uberteknik

Companionship only, means having to develop a physical relationship with your right hand.......and the temptation when some attractive pays attention becomes unbearable.

If the chemistry isn't there then sex with your husband/partner becomes a financial transaction to secure your status and security - it's no less than prostitution.

Families who 'arrange' marriages as a way of securing upwards social mobility are in effect trafficking/trading their children for their own selfish benefit. I find that abhorrent.

No, I most definitely could not do it.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by ManiReddy

I'd say its your duty to stay together. This is what marriage is about ultimately, the coming together of two families, rather than the desires of the two individuals.

We aren't married. Your desires should matter, they're important because you're forcing yourself to be with that person for their sake, chances are you won't be able to please them and will feel a lot of resentment.

Reply 11

Ella-keturah

No, I don't think it's fair on either person. I know I wouldn't want someone to be with me if they didn't find me sexually attractive.

Reply 12

uberteknik

Original post by ManiReddy

There shouldnt really be any casual dating and all marital partnerships should be arranged at the relevant time (graduation basically) so that the pair are educationally, financially and socially compatible. The act of copulation is only for the purpose of procreation, whether they enjoy it or not is irrelevant. There are loads of absorbing things that one can do beyond the beastly act itself.

So you created a new account to troll this thread and stir up ****?

Good grief. You need help.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 13

571122

Different people have different cultures. In some cultures there's forced marriage, so yeah..

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by ManiReddy

We will agree to disagree.

I think you can if sex isn't a big part of your relationship but companionship instead is the biggest component of the relationship. Not every couple could manage staying together in that situation though, I'd imagine.

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