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My girlfriend gets really anxious and worried and I'm not sure how to cope

She has anxiety problems, and sometimes will get worried constantly - i mean lasting weeks on end. I want to cheer her up but it makes me unhappy too sometimes, when she gets really bad (worrying about going to University for example) and I find it difficult to be happy. I have to pretend, and I have to worry about saying the wrong thing in case it disappoints her or makes her unhappy. It is really hard to deal with - what should I do?
Thanks
Original post by Anonymous
She has anxiety problems, and sometimes will get worried constantly - i mean lasting weeks on end. I want to cheer her up but it makes me unhappy too sometimes, when she gets really bad (worrying about going to University for example) and I find it difficult to be happy. I have to pretend, and I have to worry about saying the wrong thing in case it disappoints her or makes her unhappy. It is really hard to deal with - what should I do?
Thanks


Do you know if she's ever spoken to a professional about it? You could try to encourage her to speak to her universities counselling service.
Original post by Anonymous
She has anxiety problems, and sometimes will get worried constantly - i mean lasting weeks on end. I want to cheer her up but it makes me unhappy too sometimes, when she gets really bad (worrying about going to University for example) and I find it difficult to be happy. I have to pretend, and I have to worry about saying the wrong thing in case it disappoints her or makes her unhappy. It is really hard to deal with - what should I do?
Thanks


Hey, this is a really big part of her life which, as you probably know, she can't switch off. If you want to be with her, this is part of the package. However, it can be really exhausting to be in a relationship with someone who has mental health problems so you need to make sure you're looking after yourself. Her happiness, her recovery, her coping isn't your responsibility. It can be difficult if you feel under pressure to always make her feel better but you can only do you best, it's up to her and maybe a professional to sort this out. Maybe you need someone to talk to about this; have you tried talking to her about it in a sensitive way?
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Original post by claireestelle
Do you know if she's ever spoken to a professional about it? You could try to encourage her to speak to her universities counselling service.


She has seen someone, at CAMHS and they talked things through but she didnt find it that helpful and still struggles to manage her anxiety
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Original post by nverjvlev
Hey, this is a really big part of her life which, as you probably know, she can't switch off. If you want to be with her, this is part of the package. However, it can be really exhausting to be in a relationship with someone who has mental health problems so you need to make sure you're looking after yourself. Her happiness, her recovery, her coping isn't your responsibility. It can be difficult if you feel under pressure to always make her feel better but you can only do you best, it's up to her and maybe a professional to sort this out. Maybe you need someone to talk to about this; have you tried talking to her about it in a sensitive way?


We have talked about it and sometimes she isn't okay and sometimes she is. She isn't very good at trying things to improve her anxiety (like meditation), but that's understandable I suppose, and I try to help her as much as possible and just don't like seeing her upset
Original post by Anonymous
She has seen someone, at CAMHS and they talked things through but she didnt find it that helpful and still struggles to manage her anxiety


You could see if peer support groups exist in your area,speaking to people who have gone through similar things could be helpful.
Original post by Anonymous
She has anxiety problems, and sometimes will get worried constantly - i mean lasting weeks on end. I want to cheer her up but it makes me unhappy too sometimes, when she gets really bad (worrying about going to University for example) and I find it difficult to be happy. I have to pretend, and I have to worry about saying the wrong thing in case it disappoints her or makes her unhappy. It is really hard to deal with - what should I do?
Thanks


If she's stressing over uni, then that's bound to cause lots of worry.
Don't worry about it, and get her to do some excersice.

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