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I'm a guy and kissed my best friend

Hi! I'm a guy, I've had 2 girlfriends in the past. I'm bi, but have never come out due to fear. I know it's 2016, but my Mum was brought up in either the era or an area where she'll go on about gay people. Like if she turns the TV on, she'll say something like "why is there so many (gays) on TV nowadays?". It's not needed, I tell her off, but I worry if I ever told her I was bi.

Basically, me and my best friend from college, a guy, were talking in a pub once and he basically came out with he had feelings for me. I've always been self-conscious of my body and just a few days before he said that, there was a picture of me on holiday on Facebook with my shirt off (I was tagged in it). He said how nice I looked.

I was a bit in shock, but the evening was fine. We got talking by text - I was asking him if it was just a kinda tipsy/drunk thing he was saying, but it wasn't. I told him I was bisexual - the first person I've ever told.

He asked if I'd ever kissed a guy - I hadn't. After chatting for about 9 hours, after college, we arranged to meet up at mine. He kissed me, and I kissed him back.

I really really liked it. For the past few months, we've been meeting up, just for a usual laugh/chat but have been kissing too. Over those months, I've just become really attracted to him. It's weird because I've always considered him as a best mate, nothing else.

Thing is, I just love it. I love him, and want to carry on doing it. Someone (a friend who is gay) warned me that some guys do that just to "pleasure" themselves. Do you think we're both just doing that? I did say to him, if I could be, I'd want to be with him. He agreed...

What do you think about all this? Shall I stop and just be mates again or...?

Thanks!
Reply 1
Hey man, I think you should review, if you both have feelings for each other and then decide what to do... I know people say, that friendship can be broken by mixing it with feelings and relationships, but if you both feel the same way, it would be ''double trouble'' for you both to not try it. If you are afraid, that he is doing (or both of you) just for pleasure, ask him and review your feelings and decide what to do next... Hope this helps :-) If you want, just drop me a message.
You clearly have feelings for each other which is beautiful.
There's no harm in seeing where things go, surely?
I know it's not easy, but forget about your mum. This is your life, not hers
Reply 3
Just go for it. Life's too short and all that.
I agree with the guy above.Do whatever you want.In a 100 years you'll be dead.In 200 nobody will even remember your name.Life is too short.Way too short to worry about what others think.
Reply 5
Original post by Roubass
Hey man, I think you should review, if you both have feelings for each other and then decide what to do... I know people say, that friendship can be broken by mixing it with feelings and relationships, but if you both feel the same way, it would be ''double trouble'' for you both to not try it. If you are afraid, that he is doing (or both of you) just for pleasure, ask him and review your feelings and decide what to do next... Hope this helps :-) If you want, just drop me a message.


Original post by A-LJLB
You clearly have feelings for each other which is beautiful.
There's no harm in seeing where things go, surely?
I know it's not easy, but forget about your mum. This is your life, not hers


Original post by 1 8 13 20 42
Just go for it. Life's too short and all that.


Thank you for your replies!

I have asked him if he wants to carry on with it. He said he does. He still treats me like a best mate, and I feel I do with him too. Like at college we're both fine, and we still go out to clubs or shopping and things.

Last time, when I was kissing him, I opened my eyes (they just naturally seem to close haha), and he was smiling. I stopped and asked him what he was laughing at... he's one of those "banter kings" and I thought he was going to take the mick out of me. He said "I'm not laughing... you just make me really happy".

He said to me as well "you give the best ever hugs" and even though we do all of this when parents are out, he said he wanted to cook me something nice. I asked him why, and he said "because I love you".

Do you think this is all like a real thing? If I can be honest, he makes me so happy. Recently I've been feeling a bit down but he puts a spring into my step. He's said to me he'd like to be with me too.

When I see him now, I get a weird feeling inside. Never really got it before but he reckons it's butterflies. He says to me he can't stop looking at me too. What do you all think?

thank you :smile:
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for your replies!

I have asked him if he wants to carry on with it. He said he does. He still treats me like a best mate, and I feel I do with him too. Like at college we're both fine, and we still go out to clubs or shopping and things.

Last time, when I was kissing him, I opened my eyes (they just naturally seem to close haha), and he was smiling. I stopped and asked him what he was laughing at... he's one of those "banter kings" and I thought he was going to take the mick out of me. He said "I'm not laughing... you just make me really happy".

He said to me as well "you give the best ever hugs" and even though we do all of this when parents are out, he said he wanted to cook me something nice. I asked him why, and he said "because I love you".

Do you think this is all like a real thing? If I can be honest, he makes me so happy. Recently I've been feeling a bit down but he puts a spring into my step. He's said to me he'd like to be with me too.

When I see him now, I get a weird feeling inside. Never really got it before but he reckons it's butterflies. He says to me he can't stop looking at me too. What do you all think?

thank you :smile:


Sounds pretty real to me mate..
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for your replies!

I have asked him if he wants to carry on with it. He said he does. He still treats me like a best mate, and I feel I do with him too. Like at college we're both fine, and we still go out to clubs or shopping and things.

Last time, when I was kissing him, I opened my eyes (they just naturally seem to close haha), and he was smiling. I stopped and asked him what he was laughing at... he's one of those "banter kings" and I thought he was going to take the mick out of me. He said "I'm not laughing... you just make me really happy".

He said to me as well "you give the best ever hugs" and even though we do all of this when parents are out, he said he wanted to cook me something nice. I asked him why, and he said "because I love you".

Do you think this is all like a real thing? If I can be honest, he makes me so happy. Recently I've been feeling a bit down but he puts a spring into my step. He's said to me he'd like to be with me too.

When I see him now, I get a weird feeling inside. Never really got it before but he reckons it's butterflies. He says to me he can't stop looking at me too. What do you all think?

thank you :smile:



It seems really nice, that he takes care so much, but keep in mind not to rush things :-), so have you decided, that you will leave the door open for a possible relationship? It is good to be with someone who is your best friend at the same time.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you for your replies!

I have asked him if he wants to carry on with it. He said he does. He still treats me like a best mate, and I feel I do with him too. Like at college we're both fine, and we still go out to clubs or shopping and things.

Last time, when I was kissing him, I opened my eyes (they just naturally seem to close haha), and he was smiling. I stopped and asked him what he was laughing at... he's one of those "banter kings" and I thought he was going to take the mick out of me. He said "I'm not laughing... you just make me really happy".

He said to me as well "you give the best ever hugs" and even though we do all of this when parents are out, he said he wanted to cook me something nice. I asked him why, and he said "because I love you".

Do you think this is all like a real thing? If I can be honest, he makes me so happy. Recently I've been feeling a bit down but he puts a spring into my step. He's said to me he'd like to be with me too.

When I see him now, I get a weird feeling inside. Never really got it before but he reckons it's butterflies. He says to me he can't stop looking at me too. What do you all think?

thank you :smile:


I definitely seems to be real. Just go for it - I really hope it all works out!:h:
Reply 9
Original post by 1 8 13 20 42
Sounds pretty real to me mate..


Original post by Roubass
It seems really nice, that he takes care so much, but keep in mind not to rush things :-), so have you decided, that you will leave the door open for a possible relationship? It is good to be with someone who is your best friend at the same time.


Original post by A-LJLB
I definitely seems to be real. Just go for it - I really hope it all works out!:h:


Nothing has been rushed at all, and that's why I feel so comfortable about it. One time, we were hugging watching TV and he fell to sleep on me. I woke him up after a bit and he just told me he was really relaxed.

Before all this, I obviously never thought of him in this way before, but I just really really love him.

Someone said to me that some guys just do it to satisfy themselves. You don't think it's that do you? Once, when we were walking back from a night out - we didn't drink at all, we started holding my hand too.

I just want to be with him so much. He says to me he wants to be with me too, and calls me his boy. Thoughts?
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous

Last time, when I was kissing him, I opened my eyes (they just naturally seem to close haha), and he was smiling. I stopped and asked him what he was laughing at... he's one of those "banter kings" and I thought he was going to take the mick out of me. He said "I'm not laughing... you just make me really happy".


That's sickeningly sweet, go for it m8.
Reply 11
Original post by Anonymous
Nothing has been rushed at all, and that's why I feel so comfortable about it. One time, we were hugging watching TV and he fell to sleep on me. I woke him up after a bit and he just told me he was really relaxed.

Before all this, I obviously never thought of him in this way before, but I just really really love him.

Someone said to me that some guys just do it to satisfy themselves. You don't think it's that do you? Once, when we were walking back from a night out - we didn't drink at all, we started holding my hand too.

I just want to be with him so much. He says to me he wants to be with me too, and calls me his boy. Thoughts?


Well in one sense all people enter romantic relationships just to "satisfy themselves", i.e. to be happy. But I presume when people say that, they are talking sexually, and since you would hardly seem to be rushing that side of things, I don't see why you need to be concerned about that.
Honestly, this sounds like the real thing. People would die to have what you guys have right now. I say go for it. You sound really happy, and he sounds it too. Good luck to the both of you :h:
Original post by Anonymous
Nothing has been rushed at all, and that's why I feel so comfortable about it. One time, we were hugging watching TV and he fell to sleep on me. I woke him up after a bit and he just told me he was really relaxed.

Before all this, I obviously never thought of him in this way before, but I just really really love him.

Someone said to me that some guys just do it to satisfy themselves. You don't think it's that do you? Once, when we were walking back from a night out - we didn't drink at all, we started holding my hand too.

I just want to be with him so much. He says to me he wants to be with me too, and calls me his boy. Thoughts?


Good! Good luck to both of you!
Original post by Anonymous
Nothing has been rushed at all, and that's why I feel so comfortable about it. One time, we were hugging watching TV and he fell to sleep on me. I woke him up after a bit and he just told me he was really relaxed.

Before all this, I obviously never thought of him in this way before, but I just really really love him.

Someone said to me that some guys just do it to satisfy themselves. You don't think it's that do you? Once, when we were walking back from a night out - we didn't drink at all, we started holding my hand too.

I just want to be with him so much. He says to me he wants to be with me too, and calls me his boy. Thoughts?


If he makes you happy, and it's clearly reciprocated in my opinion, why don't you guys just try dating? You don't have to make a big thing of it yet
Original post by Luneth
That's sickeningly sweet, go for it m8.


Original post by 1 8 13 20 42
Well in one sense all people enter romantic relationships just to "satisfy themselves", i.e. to be happy. But I presume when people say that, they are talking sexually, and since you would hardly seem to be rushing that side of things, I don't see why you need to be concerned about that.


Original post by chelseadagg3r
Honestly, this sounds like the real thing. People would die to have what you guys have right now. I say go for it. You sound really happy, and he sounds it too. Good luck to the both of you :h:


Original post by Roubass
Good! Good luck to both of you!


Original post by A-LJLB
If he makes you happy, and it's clearly reciprocated in my opinion, why don't you guys just try dating? You don't have to make a big thing of it yet


Thank you all so much. He makes me really happy :smile: I want a relationship. He has said so too. I think we're just worried about what people will think. Every morning when I wake up, he's the first thing on my mind.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you all so much. He makes me really happy :smile: I want a relationship. He has said so too. I think we're just worried about what people will think. Every morning when I wake up, he's the first thing on my mind.


It is 21st century :-), no worries, I remember being scared as well, but majority of people are very accepting nowadays...And if they wouldn't, so what!
Thank you :smile:
Original post by Roubass
It is 21st century :-), no worries, I remember being scared as well, but majority of people are very accepting nowadays...And if they wouldn't, so what!


Thank you! :smile:
I really do wonder how you two are doing these days. I honestly don't think he was just doing it to "pleasure" himself, especially knowing that he was the one to confess he had feelings for you first! Hopefully you two ended up together as a couple or as mates, which would be better than nothing!
(edited 2 years ago)

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