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sympathising with mental issues

how does somebody who has never suffered with any mental illness from depression to bipolar to anxiety to any kind of illness not physically seen? if your advice is talk to somebody with it then how because i dont think anybody i know with these problems would be willing to talk to me about it and let me ask them questions

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Original post by benin.15
how does somebody who has never suffered with any mental illness from depression to bipolar to anxiety to any kind of illness not physically seen? if your advice is talk to somebody with it then how because i dont think anybody i know with these problems would be willing to talk to me about it and let me ask them questions
Your best bet is to speak to the people closest to you and whom you trust with personal info, i.e. they'll be caring people who won't bad mouth you or judge you but show support and understanding. Hope that helps :smile:
are you asking how to be nice to people?
Reply 3
Original post by SmashConcept
are you asking how to be nice to people?


no im asking how do i understand where they are coming from when i have never experienced something of that nature
Original post by benin.15
how does somebody who has never suffered with any mental illness from depression to bipolar to anxiety to any kind of illness not physically seen? if your advice is talk to somebody with it then how because i dont think anybody i know with these problems would be willing to talk to me about it and let me ask them questions


Clearly there is plenty of information out there already. Some people will talk and others not, but they may not understand their condition that well either. Obviously it can be quite a personal or private issue, so for some people they would need to understand your motives and trust you.

You cna talk to some people on here as anxiety and depression is not uncommon .
Actually if you're polite about it a lot of people are open to talking about their mental health and trying to reduce stigma. There are also a lot of resources online for you to read about mental health problems. Without actually suffering from one it can be difficult to fully understand but I think you can get a pretty decent understanding if you do some research.
Original post by shawn_o1


MH is not an excuse.


Excuse for what?
Would that work for phusical illness as well?
Cancer is not an excuse?
Heart attack is not an excuse?
Vroken leg is not an excuse?
I've suffered with various mental health problems for many years and have often found most people are open to talking about mental illness and wanting to understand more. You'd be surprised at just how many people have suffered with their own poor mental health.
It's a bit like asking someone who as cancer how it feels, despite how vivid and detailed their explanation is, you won't be able to fully comprehend.

It's hard to understand how mental illness affects people if you haven't personally suffered from it, despite how empathetic you try to be. And even then your subjective experience is probably limited because of the varied and wide-ranging nature of mental illness.

There is actually an increasing number of people who are open about their mental health these days- there are many online resources of sufferers detailing their experience. Bombarding them with 101 questions is obviously innappropriate. And there are obviously some people who don't want to talk about it at all (just like how I wouldn't ask you about your STI test).
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 9
You might never be able to understand, but if you want to sympathise with someone, just making them know that they can talk to you can mean a lot to someone, you don't have to understand, but just listening will help

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Reply 10
Original post by habeas.corpus
It's a bit like asking someone who as cancer how it feels, despite how vivid and detailed their explanation is, you won't be able to fully comprehend.

It's hard to understand how mental illness affects people if you haven't personally suffered from it, despite how empathetic you try to be. And even then your subjective experience is probably limited because of the varied and wide-ranging nature of mental illness.

There is actually an increasing number of people who are open about their mental health these days- there are many online resources of sufferers detailing their experience. Bombarding them with 101 questions is obviously innappropriate. And there are obviously some people who don't want to talk about it at all (just like how I wouldn't ask you about your STI test).


i know this thats why im asking is there a way i can find out more about it without asking people i know with it because i know it will make them uncomfortable. like can somebody give me a link to something that explains it well or give me their own opinion of how it feels.
Original post by filmaker
how does somebody who has never suffered with any mental illness from depression to bipolar to anxiety to any kind of illness not physically seen? if your advice is talk to somebody with it then how because i dont think anybody i know with these problems would be willing to talk to me about it and let me ask them questions


It's very difficult to fully empathise since it is such a different feeling. It would be a bit like trying to explain a headache to somebody who can't feel pain.
I've had depression and I can't really remember anything else in my lfe that would quite explain it. The core concepts behind it like sadness etc may be something you can understand as a "normal" person, but there's a difference to it that's partially down to how constant it is. I think that's one of the problems with explaining mh conditions, it's all words you'll have an understanding of, but with a twist that you won't quite be able to get your head around.

Still, all hope is not lost and you can still do a fair job of sympathising with people and you can certinally still be supportive. Part of it though is realising that you may never be able to properly understand some parts of it and that not all cases will fit into what you have learned. Mh issues can mix with other things (like my depression came with OCD) or present in certian ways (like some people may become angry with depressive thoughts while others may bottle it up). The most important thing is just to try to stay open minded.

If you want to ask questions you can ask me some. I've had depression and OCD before and although my experiences will differ from other people's I'll still give a go of telling you how it was for me. I guess the closest "normal" comparissons for depression I can think of would be grief and dehydration. You know when you'll get sad or emotional for no reason or may just sit there staring at a wall not really feeling anything? Boredom too. My mind felt so empty sometimes but I couldn't get into anything even things i'd have found fun before. It was a bit like there was something stopping me from being fully me or dividing me from the real world.

You can also check out youtube videos or blogs from people with mh issues or check out sites like mind.org and sane.org. There are a few campaigns and documentaries aimed ativing people a better understanding too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yL9UJVtgPZY&t

I think this video, while not perfect, does give a bit of an idea about what it's like hearing voices. I have watched it quite a few times. I like to do so when I'm feeling particularly frustrated or angry with myself as it highlights that even someone I respect has great difficulty functioning when he's hearing voices.
Reply 13
Original post by filmaker
how does somebody who has never suffered with any mental illness from depression to bipolar to anxiety to any kind of illness not physically seen? if your advice is talk to somebody with it then how because i dont think anybody i know with these problems would be willing to talk to me about it and let me ask them questions


I think asking how their day is, and then building up trust by showing that you're an empathetic person makes them more willing to answer. Being able to listen without giving any advice or trying to solve their problems is a good idea too- occasionally nodding or repeating what they say in different words goes a really long way. Also, if you respect their boundaries and ask the questions in a careful and mindful manner, most people will be happy to answer given that you're not a threat to them.

Most importantly, understand that they (like everyone else) are complex, and you're time won't necessarily make them feel better. You're not doing them a favour, you're doing it because you want to help and if they reject it then it's their choice and you gotta respect that.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 14
Firstly we want empathy and not sympathy. Secondly you don't even need to google. People share every day in this forum what their experience of mental health is. You expect people to open up to you with something very personal and difficult with barely any contact with you. A population of people that have to fight against myths and misinformation to be taken seriously. And when they don't respond immediately how you want, you spit your dummy out and say they aren't real answers and insinuate they are wasting your time!

Maybe you could try being a grown up, fostering some empathy and understanding of humans in general and then try to empathise.

No one has been too lazy to respond. You want a quick easy answer, a shortcut to the mind of the mentally ill? Tough. There's no such thing. There's no way to answer this question which satisfies that. If you have no personal experience and aren't able to even mildly empathise through your own experiences or no desire to do the research then you won't find any answers.

But you can sympathise for free. All that takes is a minor nod towards realising the situation is less fortunate than yours. "I'm sorry you have mental health problems". There youve sympathised
(edited 7 years ago)
I know that this is a touchy subject for a lot of people, but could people please try to extend some of the understanding and sympathy they want for themselves to OP.
They have made a genuine attempt to sympathise with people and just want to understand what it is like. I realise that they may have sounded unapreciative, but they have at least tried and I for one appreciate that.

Frankly I have found it difficult to gain understanding from google before and looking at a lot of the sites you find now after suffering myself I can see why. I will look at a lot of sites on my own conditions and it won't sound at all like what I felt. I can see why OP is confused and why they would want first hand experience. Some sites just don't cover it well and a point in the direction of the better ones is better than nothing.

You do not have to open up about your personal experience to them, but please don't get angry at them for asking. They are confused and want information and on the whole this section is understanding and willing to share so they may have expected a little much. They have not offended anybody deliberately, just made a little mistake while trying to do a nice thing.
Original post by shawn_o1
The way I see it is... sufferers must have a desire to no longer suffer. Or they're just a drain on society.

MH is not an excuse.


What if they don't consider themselves to be suffering? I don't consider myself to suffer from anything. I experience certain things which others may label as a mental disorder - however to me it is just my experiences. Does that make me a drain on society?


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(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by filmaker
no im asking how do i understand where they are coming from when i have never experienced something of that nature

Their brain works differently from yours.
They find initiating conversations difficult, and are generally insecure about their appearance and other aspects of who they are.
Original post by shawn_o1
The way I see it is... sufferers must have a desire to no longer suffer. Or they're just a drain on society.

MH is not an excuse.


This is an absolutely disgusting view to hold. A "drain on society"?

I assume your life's all 'hunky dory' then? Never had a problem, easy come easy go!?

Must have a desire not to suffer!?? What is this rubbish? Do you think people with MH concerns chose to suffer? If by seeking therapy, taking medications and visiting the GP to treat depression is choosing to suffer then I dunno what you regard as not suffering.

You are an incredibly cold hearted individual and I'm willing to bet if you and I met in reality you wouldn't dare voice such ridiculous opinions.
Lol people are so quick to jump to conclusions. I agree that GPs know **** all about the experiences of those with MH problems, and their gut instinct is to refer them to psychiatrists hundreds of miles away who just tick off a list and discharge them with pills. No! All the patients need is to be around some people who know what they've been through. To be "not alone". Then they can lead their lives again and function as self - sufficient individuals. That's literally all that the simpleton with no idea about MH needs to do.
Plus with far right movements spreading intolerant attitudes everywhere nowadays, identifying and knowing who to trust your identities to is even more important.

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