The Student Room Group
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>
Uni students - Complete our survey >>

This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Pakistani Muslims please help.... Muslim girl dating a white guy

Scroll to see replies

You can chose to make either yourself or your parents happy. Frankly, if they're racist, you don't owe them any consideration. At least you'll know whether they care about you (and your feelings) more than what (backward) people say (I woudl say think, but they don't).
Original post by RobML
Do you have any proof that interfaith relationships are harmful to children? I don't see why it would be any different to parents of different culture or political belief. Unless you believe in some Nazi fantasy where people only stick to their own, ofc.


Did I say the word "harmful" anywhere?
I said that it is confusing for a child.
Imagine having a Hindu mother who believes in multiple Gods, is a complete vegetarian and does not believe in any of the Abrahamic prophets, and a Christian father who only believes in one God, does eat meat, and follows a completely different religious script.
There is nothing wrong with having any of these beliefs, but they are obviously very contradictory and that is definitely going to confuse a child.

On another note, I really don't appreciate you derailing this girl's thread. Please take your religious debates to a more appropriate forum.

Could a mod please delete all of these irrelevant religious comments so that people can continue to answer the original post? Thanks.
Original post by RobML
I don't think you can compare drug addiction with interfaith relationships


I think I just did..
Reply 43
Avatar for RobML
RobML
6
Original post by Petulia
Did I say the word "harmful" anywhere?
I said that it is confusing for a child.
Imagine having a Hindu mother who believes in multiple Gods, is a complete vegetarian and does not believe in any of the Abrahamic prophets, and a Christian father who only believes in one God, does eat meat, and follows a completely different religious script.
There is nothing wrong with having any of these beliefs, but they are obviously very contradictory and that is definitely going to confuse a child.

On another note, I really don't appreciate you derailing this girl's thread. Please take your religious debates to a more appropriate forum.

Could a mod please delete all of these irrelevant religious comments so that people can continue to answer the original post? Thanks.


Even if parents are of the same faith, encountering those of different beliefs and cultures is inevitably going to happen early on in that child's life, so they might as well learn how to deal with that kind of thing early on in a safe, controlled environment.

I think it's wholly relevant, actually. We're discussing interfaith relationships and that is exactly what OP is about.
Reply 44
Avatar for RobML
RobML
6
Original post by Asiangirl_18
I think I just did..


Well that's silly
Original post by RobML
Even if parents are of the same faith, encountering those of different beliefs and cultures is inevitably going to happen early on in that child's life, so they might as well learn how to deal with that kind of thing early on in a safe, controlled environment.

I think it's wholly relevant, actually. We're discussing interfaith relationships and that is exactly what OP is about.


The OP said "Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do.."

That's her question. She's asking for advice, not your opinion on Islam or any other religion. There is a separate forum on here for that.

Again, please take your religious debate elsewhere and stop derailing threads where you have nothing relevant to contribute.
So much of these threads lmao. I've read like 5 in the last week.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by RobML
Well that's silly


Don't think so because no one else has got a problem with my comparison. Its completely viable.
But if u like pm me and we can carry this on there rather than here's and cause unnecessary issues :smile: thats if u like
Think about it. Before 1947, there was no 'Pakistan'. This isn't about religion, it's about the community you come from. I've met people who've been disowned, I've met people who've been reluctantly accepted, I've met people who were too afraid to follow.. not just a whim, but what they truly believed was the the right thing. I've met people who hide behind the religion, the culture (not just Islam, and not just Pakistani), I've met people who are truly devout.

I have met many who have struggled with this inside - outside group. If it means that much to you then it would be foolish to not consider all possible consequences. If it means that much to you will quite likely regret not following through. You already live away from your family. You already have one foot across the threshold. You have some independence. You have financial independence

Broach the subject with your parents, with a "what if" question. Don't use yourself as an example at the first volley. As important as culture is, the true character of a person is in the person - Of course by some definitions it is exactly by how much 'culture' they can muster.

How important is it to you?
It's either one or the other, i don't see there being a middle ground. Even if you continue with the relationship it seems to me your family will forever hold a grudge against you (i know mine would, they'd even disown me).

Sorry OP :frown: :hugs:
Reply 50
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by Anonymous
The reason I've put Pakistani Muslims because I believe no one really understands the backward nature of Pakistani culture unless you're in it

Sorry in advance about the bad spelling/grammar, I'm not the best at writing.

So I'm 25 years old, have a reputable well paid job, live on my own and I have a white boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of years now, and I know we both ( if things continue to go really well) are thinking about marriage now.

The biggest obstacle is my parents who are I own are going to be absolutely devastated- and I really cant stress this enough. To them to marry a BRITISH Pakistani is like - whoa ( if you want a decent a guy you'd marry from back home where you can be truly sure of the persons character). So never mind a white guy.

My boyfriend - now I know you're going to be skeptical the following because you think I'm in love so can't see any bad, believe me I can but this guy, is 1 in a million. A kind, intelligent, 'good hearted' type of guy. I know I'm very lucky to have found someone like him, and the thought of letting him go is unbearable.


I love my family I really do, and my parents are kind people but its been ingrained in them that family honour within the community is extremely
important. And I know they love me as well, but I KNOW they would rather I married no one than a white guy. And that to me is unimaginable because all I've every wanted is a family of my own. I wouldnt be just losing my parents, but my relatives and religious Muslim friends as well :frown:

I would like advice from other Asians who have seen or experienced themselves how it all pans out if the couple marry regardless of their parents view. Do the parents eventually come round ? :frown:

Sorry this has been a bit of a rant.
Basically I've met an amazing guy whom I want to marry but I don't want to lose family. What do I do....


Your parents will be dead before you. Don't spoil your life to comply with their backward thinking. I'm sure the family of your husband will welcome you.

It's like with Indians and their castes, these backward practices will continue as long as nobody goes against them.
I'm in the same boat as you hun. Lost and confused. Watching this thread :smile:
Reply 52
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by Asiangirl_18
I didn't say theyr meant to shame. But if someone is or has done bad ur not really supposed to associate urself with them because u may end up going down the wrong path urself. It's like if u weren't alcoholic or hooked on drugs. Would u associate urself with people who are? Would ur family allow it for u to associate with this kinda people? No. same in this situation. I will admit culture takes it a bit too extreme but only when it comes down to honour killings. The rest is completely plausible.


It's not "bad" to love someone.

I remind you that there is no compulsion in Islam, so you should accept people's choice to leave their faith. Only God will judge their behaviour. I don't think he will like yours.
Original post by Josb
It's not "bad" to love someone.

I remind you that there is no compulsion in Islam, so you should accept people's choice to leave their faith. Only God will judge their behaviour. I don't think he will like yours.


I didnt say its bad to love someone. But its seen as "bad" to love a non Muslim culturally and religiously. This isn't why OP directed this to Muslim Pakistanis kus unless ur in the culture and religion u dnt undertsnad fully the way things work and just think it's all backwards etc.

I didn't realise she is now wanting to leave her faith? And ofc I agree only God can judge but as a Muslim and just as a human I would feel its best to advise her on what will happen as it does in majority of cases then it's up to her to decide. She wanted the views from Pakistani Muslims as we get this whole thing more than people from other cultures. No offense at all but it is what it is. And which behaviour of mine has been rude or bad in any way?
Original post by Josb
I wouldn't prevent my children from marrying who they love.


I wouldn't want my daughter to marry a gangster. Am I a bad person?
Reply 55
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by Cherub012
I wouldn't want my daughter to marry a gangster. Am I a bad person?


Always the extreme example. :rolleyes: Anyway, a non-Muslim is in no way comparable to a gangster.
Original post by Josb
Always the extreme example. :rolleyes: Anyway, a non-Muslim is in no way comparable to a gangster.


You made the implication that you should let your daughter be with anyone they love.
Reply 57
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by RobML
I don't think Josb would disown his children over such silly things

You can't disown your children in France. :biggrin:
Reply 58
Avatar for Josb
Josb
6
Original post by Cherub012
You made the implication that you should let your daughter be with anyone they love.


Anyone that isn't a criminal. That seems obvious. :rolleyes:
Original post by hamza772000
dont u get the pun? :tongue: this is evil salafi rite?


you can't mossad the assad :smile:

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you