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Pakistani Muslims please help.... Muslim girl dating a white guy

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Original post by Mathsmad123
So instead of focusing on me, look at the bigger picture.


My bad, just adjusted the fovea..

Original post by Mathsmad123

And yes having a good heart is a value everyone should have. What i said was correct, because it revolved around respect and dignity. And the fact that you could dispute some things, shows your brainwashed mentality. Quite shocking really.


Nearly everything you just wrote is entirely subjective.

Anyway, I just merely corrected your mistakes, not too sure how this correlates to a "brainwashed mentality". I never commented on the "good heart" concept except from point out the obvious, it clearly isn't all that matters because the OP is evidently still perplexed.

Original post by Mathsmad123

In life, we need to be GOOD PEOPLE, and not have lack of respect for someone just because of religion. Understood?! we need to be GOOD PEOPLE, irrespective of our beliefs and values.


With due respect, if one's values are poor, then it's almost imperative the nature of his/her actions will follow the same pathway.

I'm not condoning religious people to be somewhat superior than all else and to disrespect others however.

(Ironic?)

Original post by Mathsmad123

That is not a sign of a good person. And I would seriously question his/her values.


Subjective once again.

In fact, it's even worse for those without a divine religion as it's almost entirely subjective.
What's your relationship with your parents like?

You're in a tough position - one I'd hate to be in. Whatever you do, though, remember your parents will always be the ones who are and have always been there for you. Don't simply abandon or disown them for a guy that you love when there's no guarantee of things working out. You're Pakistani, and, therefore, I assume you know the importance of parents and their happiness. They probably make more dua for you than they do for themselves, and they're the ones who have given a lot in their life to raise you.

Communicate with them and communicate with him. Slowly give your parents hints about interracial marriages if they have a problem with it - though, they shouldn't since Islam doesn't condemn it. Tell your other half about it and request for him to convert. If he truly is 'the one', I'm not sure why he would have a problem with converting - even if it is for the sake of marriage.

Hopefully, things work out for you in a graceful manner.

Allah knows best.

Original post by Anonymous
OP, ignore the self-righteous Muslims on here who know nothing of love and marriage and give you frankly stupid solutions. it's devastating that in this day and age there are still ppl who will tell you to give up your true love for the sake of appeasing allah.

Ignore them. I am a Muslim woman and my husband is a white atheist. He is the love of my life and our marriage could not be happier. it won't wreck your dunya and akhirah as one stupid poster has said as allah won't punish someone for true love, how stupid does one have to be to believe that. Sadly it seems like your family is quite intolerant meaning you will ultimately have to decide between your own happiness and theirs, I know which one I'd choose.


It's devastating that you don't see happiness in your parents' happiness. Compromises can be made, though of course depends what your parents are like.

OP, ignore the comment above. You're right, Allah wouldn't punish one for loving another, but to intentionally cause grieve to your parents for the purpose of self-desire at the same time, well I'm not so sure...
You guys do realise the OP is a troll? He/she has been at it for weeks posting countless Pakistani and/or Muslim threads as anonymous (to incite hatred imo)
Original post by User1213
You guys do realise the OP is a troll? He/she has been at it for weeks posting countless Pakistani and/or Muslim threads as anonymous (to incite hatred imo)


Possible but also could genuinely want help
Original post by Anonymous
Do you study the commentaries in detail under authentic sources?
Have you a strong understanding of the arabic words, language and their origins?


the verse is in the quran in black and white. what some scholar has said about it being light is made up as there is nothing in that verse to suggest it.

the arabic word used in that verse for strike is 'waidribu' and there is only one other instance in the quran where that same word is used, it's in 8:12 where it describes striking enemies in battle so clearly not a reference to a light tap
Original post by ~scorpio~
If a Muslim wife wants to practice her faith freely, the non Muslim husband may object to some things. He may also do thinks that are inappropriate islamically like expects the wife to bring pork or alcohol to the table. Why would it be unusual? If Allah makes rules he makes it clear for everyone. He does this to protect us.


and he also may not. my non muslim husband doesnt stop me from practising nor do any of the non muslims married to muslim i know. if this guy has been going out with her for years now then its pretty obvious he accepts her for who she is. stop trying to use these possible scenarios to hide your hatred of non muslims

The benefits of marrying a Muslim and raising children in an Islamic environment is that when the parents pass away, you have them making dua for you which is a blessing Muslims have and a form of sadeaqa jariya.


you can raise your children to be wonderful decent ppl without islam and it shouldnt come before the love for your spouse anyway

Btw the non Muslims I have come across do drink, not the type that get drunk off their face but they do socially, a Muslim shouldn't even come near alcohol.


no the muslims who have done this are very much religious and believe.

You seem to be surrounded by Muslims who are only Muslims by name, you need to get out more because there are good genuine Muslims out there.


and you need to get out more because there are good genuine non muslims out there who wont try and stop their spouses from practising their religion
Original post by Anonymous
the verse is in the quran in black and white. what some scholar has said about it being light is made up as there is nothing in that verse to suggest it.

the arabic word used in that verse for strike is 'waidribu' and there is only one other instance in the quran where that same word is used, it's in 8:12 where it describes striking enemies in battle so clearly not a reference to a light tap


Are you one of those people who don't believe in the ahadith? Because if you aren't then you need to build your hadith knowledge up first.
And if you are someone who doesn't believe then there's no point of a discussion.
Original post by Anonymous
What's your relationship with your parents like?

You're in a tough position - one I'd hate to be in. Whatever you do, though, remember your parents will always be the ones who are and have always been there for you. Don't simply abandon or disown them for a guy that you love when there's no guarantee of things working out. You're Pakistani, and, therefore, I assume you know the importance of parents and their happiness. They probably make more dua for you than they do for themselves, and they're the ones who have given a lot in their life to raise you.

Communicate with them and communicate with him. Slowly give your parents hints about interracial marriages if they have a problem with it - though, they shouldn't since Islam doesn't condemn it. Tell your other half about it and request for him to convert. If he truly is 'the one', I'm not sure why he would have a problem with converting - even if it is for the sake of marriage.

Hopefully, things work out for you in a graceful manner.

Allah knows best.



It's devastating that you don't see happiness in your parents' happiness. Compromises can be made, though of course depends what your parents are like.

OP, ignore the comment above. You're right, Allah wouldn't punish one for loving another, but to intentionally cause grieve to your parents for the purpose of self-desire at the same time, well I'm not so sure...


OP, ignore this comment. at the end of the day what matters is YOUR happiness, not that of your parents. they have lived their life and now its time for you to live yours and if they can't accept that then you may have no choice but to break contact with them. doing what makes your parents happy if it makes you miserable if foolish because you only get this life and somewhere down the line you will bitterly bitterly regret having put others' happiness before your own.
Advice in the shortest possible form:

Dump, move on and marry a Muslim.
With Pakistani parent's it's hard to know how they will react, but if you have even the smallest of doubts about them HATING your relationship, I wouldn't do it. Only because in the future, maybe 10 or 20 years later, you might get divorced and if your family dislike you for marrying this guy then you'll have nobody.
It also depends on how religious your parents are. If they are half and half - not too bothered about praying or music or the Qur'an - then I think they might be able to accept it, in the long term, but you should be prepared for the nasty comments, maybe not from your parents but maybe aunties and uncles.
But if you honestly believe there is nobody else you can see yourself with, and that he will never hurt you, then I'd do whatever i can to get them to like him. Maybe start of with a meal with him and your family and let everyone get to know each other before you talk about marry him to your parents.
Original post by mil88
My bad, just adjusted the fovea..



Nearly everything you just wrote is entirely subjective.

Anyway, I just merely corrected your mistakes, not too sure how this correlates to a "brainwashed mentality". I never commented on the "good heart" concept except from point out the obvious, it clearly isn't all that matters because the OP is evidently still perplexed.



With due respect, if one's values are poor, then it's almost imperative the nature of his/her actions will follow the same pathway.

I'm not condoning religious people to be somewhat superior than all else and to disrespect others however.

(Ironic?)



Subjective once again.

In fact, it's even worse for those without a divine religion as it's almost entirely subjective.



There is nothing subjective about lacking respect and dignity if one decides there is a problem of being with a member just because of his/her religion?! If islam does condone that behaviour, its ridiculous because it does not imply treating everyone equally !! And don't even deny it, the person who posted this thread clearly stated that their parents wouldn't condone such actions.
Don't try and defend, or say its subjective because it is not. I have no time for people who think its okay not to treat someone equally.
Original post by Anonymous
OP, ignore the self-righteous Muslims on here who know nothing of love and marriage and give you frankly stupid solutions. it's devastating that in this day and age there are still ppl who will tell you to give up your true love for the sake of appeasing allah.

Ignore them. I am a Muslim woman and my husband is a white atheist. He is the love of my life and our marriage could not be happier. it won't wreck your dunya and akhirah as one stupid poster has said as allah won't punish someone for true love, how stupid does one have to be to believe that. Sadly it seems like your family is quite intolerant meaning you will ultimately have to decide between your own happiness and theirs, I know which one I'd choose.


Hey, Could we talk privately somehow?

Thanks for a reply! Its nice to know someone has done it and is still happily married.
Are you from a Pakistani background? How did your Muslim react initially and how are they now?

Thanks
Original post by mil88
My bad, just adjusted the fovea..



Nearly everything you just wrote is entirely subjective.

Anyway, I just merely corrected your mistakes, not too sure how this correlates to a "brainwashed mentality". I never commented on the "good heart" concept except from point out the obvious, it clearly isn't all that matters because the OP is evidently still perplexed.



With due respect, if one's values are poor, then it's almost imperative the nature of his/her actions will follow the same pathway.

I'm not condoning religious people to be somewhat superior than all else and to disrespect others however.

(Ironic?)



Subjective once again.

In fact, it's even worse for those without a divine religion as it's almost entirely subjective.


You made yourself look like the biggest fool ever mate. All maths mad is saying, is about treating everyone with respect whatever their religion and those who do not just because of religion are not nice people. And you are questioning that? Get a grip.
Original post by Mathsmad123
There is nothing subjective about lacking respect and dignity if one decides there is a problem of being with a member just because of his/her religion?! If islam does condone that behaviour, its ridiculous because it does not imply treating everyone equally !! And don't even deny it, the person who posted this thread clearly stated that their parents wouldn't condone such actions.
Don't try and defend, or say its subjective because it is not. I have no time for people who think its okay not to treat someone equally.


Couldn't agree more....
To answer some of the other replies on here

I'm not particuarly religious, but I would like my children to be Muslim. I've not broached the subject to my bf about converting cause.... well I can't see him reacting him well :frown:

I have a really good relationship with my parents , which is why it will be so hard. I've always been to be seen as the 'good one' becuase I'm generally nicer than my siblings. They dont know I drink alcohol or that I have committed other sins. So it is going to be a really big shock to them :/
Original post by Mathsmad123
What i meant was that just because he is not muslim, sorry not skin colour. So instead of focusing on me, look at the bigger picture.
And yes having a good heart is a value everyone should have. What i said was correct, because it revolved around respect and dignity. And the fact that you could dispute some things, shows your brainwashed mentality. Quite shocking really.
In life, we need to be GOOD PEOPLE, and not have lack of respect for someone just because of religion. Understood?! we need to be GOOD PEOPLE, irrespective of our beliefs and values.
What the other guy said "This comes down to whether you value Allah over him or not." That is not a sign of a good person. And I would seriously question his/her values.


Are you aware of basic Fiqh issues regarding marriage?

Are you aware of what Allah and His messenger has said about Zinah?

Are you aware of the punishments prescribed in both the Dunya and Akhirah regarding Zinah, punishments which allah has prescribed?

Are you aware of the implications and affects on ones Islam, Iman and Ibadah of marrying a non-Muslim?

Any person who can answer all the above questions would know and agree that what IdeasForLife said is true - any Muslimah who values Allah over a non-Muslim guy would not marry them, and any person who values Allah less would marry them in the knowledge of the implications of such a marriage, unless they were ignorant of what Islam says.

Re: what you said about good people - belief precedes character, therefore being good alone is not sufficient for marriage.
Original post by Anonymous
Oh and the biggest risk is. If didnt work out and say we divorced. I would be left with no one.

And I've never fancied Asians so I cant see myself marrying anyone other than a white guy


as if asians and white people are the only ethnicities that exist
Original post by Anonymous
OP, ignore the self-righteous Muslims on here who know nothing of love and marriage and give you frankly stupid solutions. it's devastating that in this day and age there are still ppl who will tell you to give up your true love for the sake of appeasing allah.

Ignore them. I am a Muslim woman and my husband is a white atheist. He is the love of my life and our marriage could not be happier. it won't wreck your dunya and akhirah as one stupid poster has said as allah won't punish someone for true love, how stupid does one have to be to believe that. Sadly it seems like your family is quite intolerant meaning you will ultimately have to decide between your own happiness and theirs, I know which one I'd choose.


You are talking from conjecture as if you have never read the Quran before (because anyone who had would know what it says) - you can make up what you like, but don't say "Allah won't do XYZ" without anything to back what you say up. The truth is you have convinced yourself of a false reality (that 'true love' is somehow exempt from what Allah has said on the matter) just to make yourself not feel guilty about having a Haram relationship. Just because you have convinced yourself that something Haram is permissible doesn't mean that it makes it right for you to present yourself as some kind evidence that marrying a non-Muslim guy is okay - it's like me saying 'I'm a Muslim and I drink alcohol so it means it's okay' - what kind of rubbish is that?

I am coming across very harshly but I do not take kindly to when the blind try to lead the blind off the edge of a cliff.

My sincerest advice to you - and for the sake of Allah I really do hope you take heed - is that you read into Islam more, because at the end of the day, I don't matter, your husband don't matter, none of us matter, as you will go to your grave alone and you alone will be held accountable for your actions, not the rest of us. This Dunya is temporary and the Akhirah is forever, so please don't put your desires over what is right. This advice is to myself to.

May Allah guide you, the OP and us all.
I'm pretty sure muslims use the anon feature the most on this website...
Interesting discussion on this thread. I'll be sure to follow from the shadows...
If you dump a guy because bigoted religious nutters tell you he's bad, that says more about you than it does anyone.

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