The Student Room Group

Is age just a number??? Opinions pls

Okay so, I'm 18 yo and I'm currently seeing a guy in his forties, I don't have daddy issues or anything like that for the record... we are completely different, I'm in my final year at college studying A levels wanting to go to uni and get a job, he left highschool at 15 and went into a full time job as a builder! Only one of my friends knows about it and she is disgusted! At the moment it's just fwb... we were already really close friends before it happened and it just developed based on mutual attraction, we haven't actually had sex but we've done other stuff, I feel like for both of us there is potential for it to develop further into a relationship as we spend so much time together and really like each other.... should i not let this happen?? should i stop seeing him? i feel like this is where I should discuss 'age is just a number' that's the bit I want peoples opinions on... I don't regret anything I have done with him and I love spending time with him as he does me, whether its hanging out having a coffee or having other fun. So yea, basically just want peoples opinions on 'age is just a number' I feel guilty in that my family and friends will be disappointed in me and that's not what it should come down to, surely it should be my happiness?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
Friends with benefits but you haven't had sex yet? :confused:

If you have to ask of course... 18 and 40 something is a large gap, is he rich? He is pretty much old enough to be your dad. Personally it's a large gap and the fact that you don't seem mature enough to be making your own decisions makes this whole situation questionable.
if this gentleman is married then there could be complications ? most 40-something builders are married.
In his 40s covers a decade... If you're 18 and he's 48, there's a 30 year age gap. Not illegal or even immoral, but just a bit impractical. When he was out sowing his wild oats at 18, you were -12. Don't you find you struggle to have much in common apart from the superficial?
Reply 4
Avatar for vexd
vexd
3
age gap is very very big, he's from another generation, super unconventional and sorta strange imo, if you were my friend, i'd be concerned, but it's your decision to be with him, at least you're legal :h:
Original post by Anonymous
Okay so, I'm 18 yo and I'm currently seeing a guy in his forties, I don't have daddy issues or anything like that for the record... we are completely different, I'm in my final year at college studying A levels wanting to go to uni and get a job, he left highschool at 15 and went into a full time job as a builder! Only one of my friends knows about it and she is disgusted! At the moment it's just fwb... we were already really close friends before it happened and it just developed based on mutual attraction, we haven't actually had sex but we've done other stuff, I feel like for both of us there is potential for it to develop further into a relationship as we spend so much time together and really like each other.... should i not let this happen?? should i stop seeing him? i feel like this is where I should discuss 'age is just a number' that's the bit I want peoples opinions on... I don't regret anything I have done with him and I love spending time with him as he does me, whether its hanging out having a coffee or having other fun. So yea, basically just want peoples opinions on 'age is just a number' I feel guilty in that my family and friends will be disappointed in me and that's not what it should come down to, surely it should be my happiness?

your 18 you can do what you like age is a number follow your heart
Original post by Anonymous
Okay so, I'm 18 yo and I'm currently seeing a guy in his forties, I don't have daddy issues or anything like that for the record... we are completely different, I'm in my final year at college studying A levels wanting to go to uni and get a job, he left highschool at 15 and went into a full time job as a builder! Only one of my friends knows about it and she is disgusted! At the moment it's just fwb... we were already really close friends before it happened and it just developed based on mutual attraction, we haven't actually had sex but we've done other stuff, I feel like for both of us there is potential for it to develop further into a relationship as we spend so much time together and really like each other.... should i not let this happen?? should i stop seeing him? i feel like this is where I should discuss 'age is just a number' that's the bit I want peoples opinions on... I don't regret anything I have done with him and I love spending time with him as he does me, whether its hanging out having a coffee or having other fun. So yea, basically just want peoples opinions on 'age is just a number' I feel guilty in that my family and friends will be disappointed in me and that's not what it should come down to, surely it should be my happiness?


He is old enough to be your dad. Your friend is right to be disgusted, it is not worth the social stigma and bullying you will go through. Your 18 and haven't even gone to uni yet, when you do go uni you will meet so many guys your age who you'll be attracted to (that is when you'll regret this relationship). Don't waste your life like this and god knows what is going on in his mind, like doesn't he have any morals? Your young and naive but surely he has a working mind. :crazy:
I tink that man is a paedo
I'd say be careful, because some of those men can be controlling and abusive.


Posted from TSR Mobile
age is a word, not a number. It's spelled A G E, making age - making it a wor, not a number. Why are people so confused about this??
You being happy is the most important thing here, as long as there isn't a wife and kids. I'd just see where the relationship goes.

However, you should probably think about your future plans and how a man 20+ years older will affect them. Do you want children? Would he? Is he physically fit, or likely to die young? Unfortunately, some thought needs to be given to the practical side.
Age is just a number. Prison is just a place. :creep:
Original post by Anonymous
Okay so, I'm 18 yo and I'm currently seeing a guy in his forties, I don't have daddy issues or anything like that for the record... we are completely different, I'm in my final year at college studying A levels wanting to go to uni and get a job, he left highschool at 15 and went into a full time job as a builder! Only one of my friends knows about it and she is disgusted! At the moment it's just fwb... we were already really close friends before it happened and it just developed based on mutual attraction, we haven't actually had sex but we've done other stuff, I feel like for both of us there is potential for it to develop further into a relationship as we spend so much time together and really like each other.... should i not let this happen?? should i stop seeing him? i feel like this is where I should discuss 'age is just a number' that's the bit I want peoples opinions on... I don't regret anything I have done with him and I love spending time with him as he does me, whether its hanging out having a coffee or having other fun. So yea, basically just want peoples opinions on 'age is just a number' I feel guilty in that my family and friends will be disappointed in me and that's not what it should come down to, surely it should be my happiness?



It is and it isnt For instance if you were in the range 25-35 and he was 45-55, then I would say it was fine.

The thing you arent going to be expert at is reading people. Not everyone is nice and its much easier for someone older to deceive someone your age. He could be nice or he could be an absolute pig biding his time. Obviously that cna happen with all people, but you are more vulneable.

The other thing is that you are at different stages of life, so after a while you could have nothing in common. You wnat to go out and he does not. Twenty years is quite an age gap to span.

There is a chance for some, but imo id be wary and the above two reasons are likely to cause trouble as they represent an imbalance of power. You cna trust him until you cant.....


You will be an adult so you cna make your own choices. Dont get carried away though.
Original post by OfficialChemist
age is a word, not a number. It's spelled A G E, making age - making it a wor, not a number. Why are people so confused about this??

Yessssssssss my g
Original post by I'mquitestupid
Yessssssssss my g


These man are hella confused fam
Reply 15
Avatar for Zarek
Zarek
21
I think your Dad should give him a beating
Technically it's legal and if it makes you happy then go ahead.

But many people may not agree with the idea just because of their morals/ it's not part of the norm
Original post by Anonymous
Okay so, I'm 18 yo and I'm currently seeing a guy in his forties, I don't have daddy issues or anything like that for the record... we are completely different, I'm in my final year at college studying A levels wanting to go to uni and get a job, he left highschool at 15 and went into a full time job as a builder! Only one of my friends knows about it and she is disgusted! At the moment it's just fwb... we were already really close friends before it happened and it just developed based on mutual attraction, we haven't actually had sex but we've done other stuff, I feel like for both of us there is potential for it to develop further into a relationship as we spend so much time together and really like each other.... should i not let this happen?? should i stop seeing him? i feel like this is where I should discuss 'age is just a number' that's the bit I want peoples opinions on... I don't regret anything I have done with him and I love spending time with him as he does me, whether its hanging out having a coffee or having other fun. So yea, basically just want peoples opinions on 'age is just a number' I feel guilty in that my family and friends will be disappointed in me and that's not what it should come down to, surely it should be my happiness?



Who cares about age or how big the age gap is ?
It's better than being lonely and single but the most important thing is that you are both attracted to each other and enjoy each other's company.
Most people in relationships with people their own age are really miserable and arguing all the time so as long as you get on and are having fun the age gap is not important
Reply 18
Avatar for ANM775
ANM775
20
Original post by Anonymous
He is old enough to be your dad. Your friend is right to be disgusted, it is not worth the social stigma and bullying you will go through. Your 18 and haven't even gone to uni yet, when you do go uni you will meet so many guys your age who you'll be attracted to (that is when you'll regret this relationship). Don't waste your life like this and god knows what is going on in his mind, like doesn't he have any morals? Your young and naive but surely he has a working mind. :crazy:




here is a picture of a girl taken when she was 18 year old, A legal Adult

http://www.mrbonzai.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Kristina-Helene.jpg


Why is it so immoral for an older gentleman to be attracted to her.

she is an attractive female of childbearing age and near the peak of her fertility [in terms of age]

are males not programmed to try and mate with attractive females of childbearing age?
why must he be forced to only be attracted to women his own age who's fertility is much less
(edited 7 years ago)
He's old enough to be ur grandad's grandad man, leaaaaave ittttttt

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you