Dear you,
I love you. More than anyone and anything. It's been over two years since I lost you and as I write this, I'm crying myself to sleep because I wish you were here, to take the pain away and be there for me. I get these bouts of sadness over your death, especially at Christmas time and somehow I still end up crying like the day I found out you left me. I never told you how much you meant to me, how much I adored and treasured you.
And I'm sorry for being a terrible best friend, for distancing myself towards the end but I couldn't deal with the pain, and often I feel like it's my fault you are no longer with me or your loved ones. But I must think, you are no longer suffering now.
Yet I can't help but feel pain over people who still have their best friend and do the things we did. Whenever I hear Yellow by Coldplay, I think of the day of your funeral where I wore yellow for you and how much the lyrics related to me.
I love you, so much and I just wish you were with me, by my side. But I have to face this alone, and make you proud because it's a stressful time for me and all I want is for me to make you happy at what I've achieved.
There isn't a moment I don't think about you, and how much I re read our messages and listen to our voice notes but you're at peace now and that's all I've ever wanted.
Sleep tight beautiful, and save me a spot up there please.
From me.