My whole family bullied me, abused me

I'm 27 and my sister is one year younger than me:

These are all the things I've went through:

1) My grandma was very mean towards me. I remember when I was about 5, I think I was naughty, I believe she/my aunty tied me up in a rope. She only favoured my sister and I remember her being very mean towards me when I was young, calling me names even slapping me for no reason once. I do remember her calling me names everytime she seen me. She recently passed away.

Unfortunately I lost my mom when I was 11 years old.

2)My uncle bullied me one who lives 3 hours drive away, this is what he;s done:

I can be a bit quiet, however, it's down to not knowing what to say, on a holiday in Germany, my uncle said when I was 18, "if you don't talk, who will marry you".

He went on holiday in 2010, which he visited my house and told me in "I've got you a wife from India" in a sterile, disrespectful way,

At my other uncle's house, he said, can you eat this as in to mock my cultural skills.

When my younger sister passed her second year and I was in my first year, they looked at me hoping I would get jealous:

This is the absolute worst that has happened to me:

I was at my uncle's house in 2011, he was sitting their on the sofa adjacent to me, he suddely said "can you cook" I said "yes". Then my uncle and everyone was talking about going to the pub and he was saying he's not going to take me. Then suddenely he said to my dad "are you worried your son's not going to get a wife"..........my dad said he will. There was some more chatter and my dad said I am a man now and with he's fingers pointing, he said "look at him, he's not a man"...........WTF. Then we went home, my main uncle wasn't in the sitting room at that time. He never bothered to phone to apologise or nothing.

I remember I was upstaits when he came to my house, when I came down, he called me a "scardy cat" in my language or where is that "scardy cat".

I remember when I was looking for work, he started smirking and told my father to get me a job in the factory.
At a 2014 christmas party at my uncle's house, we was looking at her daughters engagement video and their was a still image of a nice looking girl and he told me why don't you go for her. So he was picking on me in front of others.

When he and his wife came back from India for her daughters wedding in January 2015, he got my father and my sister a present, I noticed they did not get me anything.

He came to visit my house over Christmas 2015 and he said do you have a girlfriend, I said no which he went onto say can't you get one, I said I'm not looking for one.

Back in 2012 he said you do you have a girlfriend and he said why don't you go out on holidays, I was going to say I've been busy with my work, however, his wife went onto blurt, he's got no friends.

3) My aunty from my local area said things like I'm fa(I'm not fat), I'm too scared, when I went to her house recently she said "what can I cook". She even complains I only come to visit her sons to mess about.

4) Her youngest son said when I was younger "I thought you was thick" he ignores me and acknowledges everyone of my cousins and he has been rude.

5) My aunty who is the wife of the husband who leaves 3 hours away cut me out on the camera at a christmas party a couple of years ago and told my cousin to go towards her right so she can block me and she has been a bit mean and arrogant eavesdropping in my convo's. She even said when I was young my sister colour betters than me.

I'm quiet at parties, etc and no one hardly comes up to me or does anything to say I'm ok. Everybody else's aunties does, my aunties are just mean. I don't know why they ignore me or don't say are you ok, I can't believe it I see other aunties doing nice things for their nephews.

They've all treated my sister better than me and put in a box. They have judged me harshly.

Reply 1

sayan98

12

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 27 and my sister is one year younger than me:

These are all the things I've went through:

1) My grandma was very mean towards me. I remember when I was about 5, I think I was naughty, I believe she/my aunty tied me up in a rope. She only favoured my sister and I remember her being very mean towards me when I was young, calling me names even slapping me for no reason once. I do remember her calling me names everytime she seen me. She recently passed away.

Unfortunately I lost my mom when I was 11 years old.

2)My uncle bullied me one who lives 3 hours drive away, this is what he;s done:

I can be a bit quiet, however, it's down to not knowing what to say, on a holiday in Germany, my uncle said when I was 18, "if you don't talk, who will marry you".

He went on holiday in 2010, which he visited my house and told me in "I've got you a wife from India" in a sterile, disrespectful way,

At my other uncle's house, he said, can you eat this as in to mock my cultural skills.

When my younger sister passed her second year and I was in my first year, they looked at me hoping I would get jealous:

This is the absolute worst that has happened to me:

I was at my uncle's house in 2011, he was sitting their on the sofa adjacent to me, he suddely said "can you cook" I said "yes". Then my uncle and everyone was talking about going to the pub and he was saying he's not going to take me. Then suddenely he said to my dad "are you worried your son's not going to get a wife"..........my dad said he will. There was some more chatter and my dad said I am a man now and with he's fingers pointing, he said "look at him, he's not a man"...........WTF. Then we went home, my main uncle wasn't in the sitting room at that time. He never bothered to phone to apologise or nothing.

I remember I was upstaits when he came to my house, when I came down, he called me a "scardy cat" in my language or where is that "scardy cat".

I remember when I was looking for work, he started smirking and told my father to get me a job in the factory.
At a 2014 christmas party at my uncle's house, we was looking at her daughters engagement video and their was a still image of a nice looking girl and he told me why don't you go for her. So he was picking on me in front of others.

When he and his wife came back from India for her daughters wedding in January 2015, he got my father and my sister a present, I noticed they did not get me anything.

He came to visit my house over Christmas 2015 and he said do you have a girlfriend, I said no which he went onto say can't you get one, I said I'm not looking for one.

Back in 2012 he said you do you have a girlfriend and he said why don't you go out on holidays, I was going to say I've been busy with my work, however, his wife went onto blurt, he's got no friends.

3) My aunty from my local area said things like I'm fa(I'm not fat), I'm too scared, when I went to her house recently she said "what can I cook". She even complains I only come to visit her sons to mess about.

4) Her youngest son said when I was younger "I thought you was thick" he ignores me and acknowledges everyone of my cousins and he has been rude.

5) My aunty who is the wife of the husband who leaves 3 hours away cut me out on the camera at a christmas party a couple of years ago and told my cousin to go towards her right so she can block me and she has been a bit mean and arrogant eavesdropping in my convo's. She even said when I was young my sister colour betters than me.

I'm quiet at parties, etc and no one hardly comes up to me or does anything to say I'm ok. Everybody else's aunties does, my aunties are just mean. I don't know why they ignore me or don't say are you ok, I can't believe it I see other aunties doing nice things for their nephews.

They've all treated my sister better than me and put in a box. They have judged me harshly.

That's abuse?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by sayan98

That's abuse?

So you saying all the verbal insults, humiliation, physically hitting me is not abuse?

Reply 3

PrincessBO$$

19

Original post by sayan98

That's abuse?

^^^^This.
Try living in an African or Asian household you'll know what abuse is

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

I am Indian.

The fact is I was treated extremely poorly and I cannot understand why. I feel like crying.

Reply 5

bigbattygal

2

Original post by PrincessBO$$

^^^^This.
Try living in an African or Asian household you'll know what abuse is

oh shut up

"Look at me i have to put up with worse" gtfoh

Reply 6

bigbattygal

2

Ignore the others OP, this is bullying. Leave them, become financially independent, seek emancipation or something.

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

Smh you probably took it the wrong way dude.

Reply 8

Nunchuck-master-2334

20

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 27 and my sister is one year younger than me:

These are all the things I've went through:

1) My grandma was very mean towards me. I remember when I was about 5, I think I was naughty, I believe she/my aunty tied me up in a rope. She only favoured my sister and I remember her being very mean towards me when I was young, calling me names even slapping me for no reason once. I do remember her calling me names everytime she seen me. She recently passed away.

Unfortunately I lost my mom when I was 11 years old.

2)My uncle bullied me one who lives 3 hours drive away, this is what he;s done:

I can be a bit quiet, however, it's down to not knowing what to say, on a holiday in Germany, my uncle said when I was 18, "if you don't talk, who will marry you".

He went on holiday in 2010, which he visited my house and told me in "I've got you a wife from India" in a sterile, disrespectful way,

At my other uncle's house, he said, can you eat this as in to mock my cultural skills.

When my younger sister passed her second year and I was in my first year, they looked at me hoping I would get jealous:

This is the absolute worst that has happened to me:

I was at my uncle's house in 2011, he was sitting their on the sofa adjacent to me, he suddely said "can you cook" I said "yes". Then my uncle and everyone was talking about going to the pub and he was saying he's not going to take me. Then suddenely he said to my dad "are you worried your son's not going to get a wife"..........my dad said he will. There was some more chatter and my dad said I am a man now and with he's fingers pointing, he said "look at him, he's not a man"...........WTF. Then we went home, my main uncle wasn't in the sitting room at that time. He never bothered to phone to apologise or nothing.

I remember I was upstaits when he came to my house, when I came down, he called me a "scardy cat" in my language or where is that "scardy cat".

I remember when I was looking for work, he started smirking and told my father to get me a job in the factory.
At a 2014 christmas party at my uncle's house, we was looking at her daughters engagement video and their was a still image of a nice looking girl and he told me why don't you go for her. So he was picking on me in front of others.

When he and his wife came back from India for her daughters wedding in January 2015, he got my father and my sister a present, I noticed they did not get me anything.

He came to visit my house over Christmas 2015 and he said do you have a girlfriend, I said no which he went onto say can't you get one, I said I'm not looking for one.

Back in 2012 he said you do you have a girlfriend and he said why don't you go out on holidays, I was going to say I've been busy with my work, however, his wife went onto blurt, he's got no friends.

3) My aunty from my local area said things like I'm fa(I'm not fat), I'm too scared, when I went to her house recently she said "what can I cook". She even complains I only come to visit her sons to mess about.

4) Her youngest son said when I was younger "I thought you was thick" he ignores me and acknowledges everyone of my cousins and he has been rude.

5) My aunty who is the wife of the husband who leaves 3 hours away cut me out on the camera at a christmas party a couple of years ago and told my cousin to go towards her right so she can block me and she has been a bit mean and arrogant eavesdropping in my convo's. She even said when I was young my sister colour betters than me.

I'm quiet at parties, etc and no one hardly comes up to me or does anything to say I'm ok. Everybody else's aunties does, my aunties are just mean. I don't know why they ignore me or don't say are you ok, I can't believe it I see other aunties doing nice things for their nephews.

They've all treated my sister better than me and put in a box. They have judged me harshly.

I've gone pale with all this horrible **** that this family is doing!
You are a man, and you'll find the ideal wife for you, whether your bloody uncle thinks so or not.
Besides, your dad sided with you against uncle when he was mocking you about not being a man.
Not completely cruel and abussive as you previously thought!

Reply 9

Nunchuck-master-2334

20

Original post by bigbattygal

Ignore the others OP, this is bullying. Leave them, become financially independent, seek emancipation or something.

Well said, buddy!

Reply 10

Darksideous

9

Original post by bigbattygal

Ignore the others OP, this is bullying. Leave them, become financially independent, seek emancipation or something.

You speaking from personal experience mate?

Reply 11

bigbattygal

2

Original post by Darksideous

You speaking from personal experience mate?

Fortunately not.

Reply 12

Darksideous

9

Original post by bigbattygal

Fortunately not.

Life is too short to hold grudges.

Reply 13

bigbattygal

2

Original post by Darksideous

Life is too short to hold grudges.

You may not have self respect or pride but Im hoping OP does.

Reply 14

x-bhakti-patel

13

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 27 and my sister is one year younger than me:

These are all the things I've went through:

1) My grandma was very mean towards me. I remember when I was about 5, I think I was naughty, I believe she/my aunty tied me up in a rope. She only favoured my sister and I remember her being very mean towards me when I was young, calling me names even slapping me for no reason once. I do remember her calling me names everytime she seen me. She recently passed away.

Unfortunately I lost my mom when I was 11 years old.

2)My uncle bullied me one who lives 3 hours drive away, this is what he;s done:

I can be a bit quiet, however, it's down to not knowing what to say, on a holiday in Germany, my uncle said when I was 18, "if you don't talk, who will marry you".

He went on holiday in 2010, which he visited my house and told me in "I've got you a wife from India" in a sterile, disrespectful way,

At my other uncle's house, he said, can you eat this as in to mock my cultural skills.

When my younger sister passed her second year and I was in my first year, they looked at me hoping I would get jealous:

This is the absolute worst that has happened to me:

I was at my uncle's house in 2011, he was sitting their on the sofa adjacent to me, he suddely said "can you cook" I said "yes". Then my uncle and everyone was talking about going to the pub and he was saying he's not going to take me. Then suddenely he said to my dad "are you worried your son's not going to get a wife"..........my dad said he will. There was some more chatter and my dad said I am a man now and with he's fingers pointing, he said "look at him, he's not a man"...........WTF. Then we went home, my main uncle wasn't in the sitting room at that time. He never bothered to phone to apologise or nothing.

I remember I was upstaits when he came to my house, when I came down, he called me a "scardy cat" in my language or where is that "scardy cat".

I remember when I was looking for work, he started smirking and told my father to get me a job in the factory.
At a 2014 christmas party at my uncle's house, we was looking at her daughters engagement video and their was a still image of a nice looking girl and he told me why don't you go for her. So he was picking on me in front of others.

When he and his wife came back from India for her daughters wedding in January 2015, he got my father and my sister a present, I noticed they did not get me anything.

He came to visit my house over Christmas 2015 and he said do you have a girlfriend, I said no which he went onto say can't you get one, I said I'm not looking for one.

Back in 2012 he said you do you have a girlfriend and he said why don't you go out on holidays, I was going to say I've been busy with my work, however, his wife went onto blurt, he's got no friends.

3) My aunty from my local area said things like I'm fa(I'm not fat), I'm too scared, when I went to her house recently she said "what can I cook". She even complains I only come to visit her sons to mess about.

4) Her youngest son said when I was younger "I thought you was thick" he ignores me and acknowledges everyone of my cousins and he has been rude.

5) My aunty who is the wife of the husband who leaves 3 hours away cut me out on the camera at a christmas party a couple of years ago and told my cousin to go towards her right so she can block me and she has been a bit mean and arrogant eavesdropping in my convo's. She even said when I was young my sister colour betters than me.

I'm quiet at parties, etc and no one hardly comes up to me or does anything to say I'm ok. Everybody else's aunties does, my aunties are just mean. I don't know why they ignore me or don't say are you ok, I can't believe it I see other aunties doing nice things for their nephews.

They've all treated my sister better than me and put in a box. They have judged me harshly.

I feel really bad hearing about this, but I feel as if by keeping quiet and keeping it to urself, they will just keep thinking and saying these cruel things to u, and trust me ik how hard it is being quiet to stand up for urself, i couldnt stand up to myself in front of this one bully ages ago, but then i stood up for myself and talked back to them explaining how what they said to me hurt, and they understood and we became friends. All im trying to say is that i understand and i think that u should try talking to ur Dad about this or even ur sis they will understand as by doing this it will help lessen ur pain, and trust me u will feel much better. Just try also if u can slowly by slowly, cause ik how difficult it is to open up, talk to ur uncle about ur fellings and how u feel when he says these things to u, and also the other people who were cruel towards u, im sure that once u tell them they will understand.
Hope this helps :smile: