Lads holiday :(

My boyfriend and I were discussing summer and holidays the other night and he has said he can only afford one holiday this year, and has chosen to go on a 'lads' holiday with 12 of his friends I've a holiday with me. All of his friends are a**holes and have cheated on their girlfriends multiple times and The majority of them don't like me. We've been together for 2 and a half years and we're both 18.
Am I right to feel upset, worried and annoyed?
Girls, how would you feel?
Guys, am I just being paranoid?
Advise would be highly appreciated xx

Reply 1

CTLeafez

22

It comes down to whether or not you trust him or not. His friends may be known for cheating but I'm assuming your boyfriend hasn't got a history of cheating. Don't put other people's backgrounds onto your boyfriend if he's innocent. If he can only afford one holiday abroad, why don't you two save up for a holiday at CentreParcs or something more cheap and local. Can still be romantic if you put in the effort.

Reply 2

emgoldy

Original post by Anonymous5810

My boyfriend and I were discussing summer and holidays the other night and he has said he can only afford one holiday this year, and has chosen to go on a 'lads' holiday with 12 of his friends I've a holiday with me. All of his friends are a**holes and have cheated on their girlfriends multiple times and The majority of them don't like me. We've been together for 2 and a half years and we're both 18.
Am I right to feel upset, worried and annoyed?
Girls, how would you feel?
Guys, am I just being paranoid?
Advise would be highly appreciated xx

Dump his ass

Reply 3

CleverSquirrel

21

if you trust then let him go, i understand where you're coming from though- it's normal to be worried/paranoid, i do it all the time, and yeah I know the feeling. i sometimes spend the weekend when he's out worrying about this :lol:

- believe me, i know!

But at the end of the day if you trust him, then don't worry. If anything happens out there, just tell him to be honest with you.
whenever this happens i remind myself that relationships are built on trust and honestey- remind yourself that and you BF. :yep:

In terms of his friends all you can do is warn him? Tell him that you're worried about this and see what he says!

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 4

username2885068

11

Original post by Anonymous5810

My boyfriend and I were discussing summer and holidays the other night and he has said he can only afford one holiday this year, and has chosen to go on a 'lads' holiday with 12 of his friends I've a holiday with me. All of his friends are a**holes and have cheated on their girlfriends multiple times and The majority of them don't like me. We've been together for 2 and a half years and we're both 18.
Am I right to feel upset, worried and annoyed?
Girls, how would you feel?
Guys, am I just being paranoid?
Advise would be highly appreciated xx

Well, I think you're right to feel paranoid. It seems dodgy. You have to honestly ask yourself if he would do something like this, and if he's easily influenced by his friends.
Also ask yourself how he would react if you did the same thing

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I've tried but he just sort of shuts down every time and just brushes it off

Reply 6

Anonymous5810

OP

Original post by CarysJSLewis

Well, I think you're right to feel paranoid. It seems dodgy. You have to honestly ask yourself if he would do something like this, and if he's easily influenced by his friends.
Also ask yourself how he would react if you did the same thing

I know I would 100% choose a holiday with him than a girls holiday any day, im just curious as to why he'd rather go with the boys? That's what's making me paranoid, and also he has been influenced by his friends in the past :frown:

so I'm feeling very worried and anxious

Reply 7

username2885068

11

Original post by Anonymous5810

I know I would 100% choose a holiday with him than a girls holiday any day, im just curious as to why he'd rather go with the boys? That's what's making me paranoid, and also he has been influenced by his friends in the past :frown:

so I'm feeling very worried and anxious

I'm afraid it doesn't seem good. I hate saying things like this, but it might be better to sit down with him and have a serious conversation about whether or not it'd be better to end things now, rather than after you've been hurt if he's cheated on holiday

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by CleverSquirrel

if you trust then let him go, i understand where you're coming from though- it's normal to be worried/paranoid, i do it all the time, and yeah I know the feeling. i sometimes spend the weekend when he's out worrying about this :lol:

- believe me, i know!

But at the end of the day if you trust him, then don't worry. If anything happens out there, just tell him to be honest with you.
whenever this happens i remind myself that relationships are built on trust and honestey- remind yourself that and you BF. :yep:

In terms of his friends all you can do is warn him? Tell him that you're worried about this and see what he says!

I'm not the type of gf that stops him from going anywhere, but just thinking about him and his friends being paralytic out in the clubs with a bunch of drunk girls annoys and upsets me, I trust him but I don't trust his friends at all, and I know that if a girl was coming on to him, his friends would spur him on, he know what his friends are like yet it doesn't seem to bother him, which is what worries me. I've spoken to him about it before and he's assured me that he wouldn't be influenced by his friends in terms of cheating, but I still feel really paranoid :frown:

Reply 9

CleverSquirrel

21

Original post by Anonymous

I'm not the type of gf that stops him from going anywhere, but just thinking about him and his friends being paralytic out in the clubs with a bunch of drunk girls annoys and upsets me, I trust him but I don't trust his friends at all, and I know that if a girl was coming on to him, his friends would spur him on, he know what his friends are like yet it doesn't seem to bother him, which is what worries me. I've spoken to him about it before and he's assured me that he wouldn't be influenced by his friends in terms of cheating, but I still feel really paranoid :frown:

i know the feeling hun- i get this all the time- the only difference is that i dont know that his friends are like....

Talk to him before he goes- tell him that your worried and make sure he promises to tell you.. i know the feeling of paranoia is horrif- you start making up all these senarios in your head and work youself up about it...

you said you trust him, so if you really do trust him, dont worry about it, im sure if he loves you enough and respects you- he wont cheat- no matter what his friends say :yep:

just let him go out and have fun!! its a holiday after all!

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 10

username1726117

14

No point being in a relationship if you don't trust him. What his friends have done is no concern of yours, as it doesn't reflect on his behavior.

Let him have fun with his mates. :smile:

Reply 11

Recont

16

Why would you choose a man whom you don't trust?

Reply 12

mcgreevy1993

15

Like you're both only 18. Go on a holiday with your friends, let him have some fun.

My boyfriend went to Ibiza with his lad mates, and I went to Ayia Napa with my house mates one summer. Neither of us cheated - we're still together.
You're both young and need to have these experiences, yes there is a culture around lad holidays - but not every lad gets involved in them. If you trust him enough to be with him, you should trust him enough to let him go out with his friends in the sun for a week!

Seriously - I get the paranoia but if he wants to go you should support him and tell him to have a good time. At the end of the day if he wanted to cheat there are enough easy girls and night clubs open late enough in the UK to do so.

Reply 13

nomad992

13

Original post by Anonymous5810

My boyfriend and I were discussing summer and holidays the other night and he has said he can only afford one holiday this year, and has chosen to go on a 'lads' holiday with 12 of his friends I've a holiday with me. All of his friends are a**holes and have cheated on their girlfriends multiple times and The majority of them don't like me. We've been together for 2 and a half years and we're both 18.
Am I right to feel upset, worried and annoyed?
Girls, how would you feel?
Guys, am I just being paranoid?
Advise would be highly appreciated xx

If you pressure him and make him feel guilty he will either cheat/ and or leave you.

Reply 14

NathanFDevlin

If youre fit and decent in bed, he wont cheat.

If youre butters and bounce like a nonce, he will but wont tell you x

Reply 15

PhilipG1

12

I'd be ****ed off if my gf wouldn't let me go on a lads holiday, it was a great experience. Thank god I don't have a gf to worry about that with :smile:

EDIT:

Original post by NathanFDevlin