Help with the 'making up' process?

We've been together for 3 years, and had our first 'big' breakup where we didn't talk to each other for 2 months, and we had decided to cut our ties and tried to move on. It was all my fault, and though I tried moving on from him, I just couldn't deal with this powerful feeling of guilt in my mind, of all the horrible things that I had said and done. I had also become quite depressed, so I decided to try to get him back, to relieve myself of the guilt, and so I could be happy again.

We began talking a week ago, and it seemed like he missed me just as much as I had missed him. But the thing is, whenever I try to apologise and say how bad I felt about what I did, he just changes the subject, and doesn't talk about it. We seem to be slowly getting back to normal now though, with how we interact with each other, but I just feel kinda awkward now, as if I feel like he now thinks of me differently in a bad way because of what happened, and that things would never be the same again. I just don't know how to go back to the way things used to be between us. Anyone have advice?