The Student Room Group

how to lower my parents expectations?

i got A*s/As at GCSEs and all my teachers 'believe in me' and im a good student teachers pet hard worker etc. but im doing ib now and im not sure i'll do so great.
how can i get this idea across to my dad, who is expecting me to apply to ivy league unis...
my parents are v.strict with grades btw. like i cant get less than As. i just need them to lower their expectations.
(edited 7 years ago)
Don't know if you are asian or not but make him watch this:
https://youtu.be/jkN9VdjgDwM

Tell them it's not all about the grades, it's about your experiences, extra curricular activieties and social skills.
Original post by gameofno
i got A*s/As at GCSEs and all my teachers 'believe in me' and im a good student teachers pet hard worker etc. but im doing ib now and im not sure i'll do so great.
how can i get this idea across to my dad, who is expecting me to apply to ivy league unis...
my parents are v.strict with grades btw. like i cant get less than As. i just need them to lower their expectations.


Ok, basically just get loads and loads of bad grades on purpose. Make sure though you know the material.
Reply 3
Original post by will'o'wisp
ok, basically just get loads and loads of bad grades on purpose. Make sure though you know the material.


LMAO they'll beat me.
(edited 7 years ago)
Reply 4
i already do many ec's and am in committees and whatever, the only problem is my actual marks on work & tests
You could constantly let them know how 'hard' it is :grumble:
Reply 6
i do! i complain and cry a lot. the only response is 'life is hard' etc 'if u wanna get anywhere u have to stick with it'
Original post by gameofno
lmao they'll beat me.


Ignore it but put up with the **** they give you. You just gotta suck it up and deal with it until you in uni.

Hear this though. You can't get him to change his mind unless he's willing to change it. So if he thinks his child is smart and going to get lots of good grades then he's an idiot. Things can change quickly in a year. Still nothing you can do, He can stay in his dreamy world but hey. Reality is where it's at.

In which case you can't deal with it just get bad grades "bad" enough to not make them beat you but just so that they keep telling to you to work harder etc.
Why not just explain to them that you're finding your current course more challenging than GCSE and that you're worried you may not meet their expectations, they might respect your honesty and lay off a little bit. At least then it won't be such a shock to them if your grades do slip.
Reply 9
Original post by will'o'wisp
Ignore it but put up with the **** they give you. You just gotta suck it up and deal with it until you in uni.

Hear this though. You can't get him to change his mind unless he's willing to change it. So if he thinks his child is smart and going to get lots of good grades then he's an idiot. Things can change quickly in a year. Still nothing you can do, He can stay in his dreamy world but hey. Reality is where it's at.

In which case you can't deal with it just get bad grades "bad" enough to not make them beat you but just so that they keep telling to you to work harder etc.


yeahh okay, thank you
Sounds like you've go at good parents you should work hard to get all A*s etc. Obviously if your less intelligent this means more work but long term in life decades down the road your life style will be influenced by how hard you worked and what you achieved, at least it will if you want a good life. Otherwise it can be determined by how you hang out with mates and the likes whilst you flip burgers for a living.

You often learn growing up that those who are toughest on you are those that cared the most. My advice would be you only need two words for yor parents
"Thank you"
Original post by gameofno
i do! i complain and cry a lot. the only response is 'life is hard' etc 'if u wanna get anywhere u have to stick with it'


Deal with it, suck it ip.and don't feel pressuered.
My take on his os that they are just trying to push you, and if they know you gave it your all, whatever your grades they'll be fine with it. Well, as long as you don't fail.
Also, try to maintain a positive attitude. If you say you can't then you probably can't as you've already given up. So say 'I can'.

Original post by gameofno
i already do many ec's and am in committees and whatever, the only problem is my actual marks on work & tests

Cool. Ask teachers/lecturers for help on how to imrpove your grades?
Also, look at how you revise etc maybe you aren't using a tefhnique suited for you?

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