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No friends at sixth form

So i started a new sixth form back in September and i'm currently in year 12. I struggled to make friends within the first few days and so became an outcast. Within the first few days everyone had already made their groups and didn't seem open to accepting me into them. Trust me, i tried to make friends however people just didn't seem interested in talking to me.
I'm now 4months in and i have no friends. I spend my lunch and break times alone in the library. I feel overwhelmingly lonely and unwanted.
I just want to know if anyone else is going through something similar or if anyone has any advice for coping with the next 2 years.

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Reply 1

VioletPhillippo

Original post by Anonymous

Hiya,

I really feel for you, I had lots of friends last year (y12) but I didn't really have any friends in my classes. I would say try and persevere and keep yourself involved as the more you isolate yourself, the more isolated you'll feel. Try and get involved in events, 1 or 2 clubs within or outside of school and I know it is hard but try and get chatting to people as it'll make you feel more comfortable. :smile:

Reply 2

Magic Streets

Original post by Anonymous

Raise the issue with your head of sixth form.

Reply 3

outgoingpopcorn

Original post by Anonymous

Hi,
I'm also in yr12 and started a new school in September. Maybe just try and spend time with the people in your lessons and see what happens? If not at least you are being productive in the library. Maybe join some clubs and things in school so you meet like-minded people?

Reply 4

username2137363

Hi, I'm not in sixth form but I'm in year 11 and have gone through a lot of that on my own. For almost 7-8 months now I haven't had friends nor a friendship group in my school, and I was alone for varying times in year 9 and year 10. Loneliness is horrible. It really is. It does certainly beat down on your confidence a lot, and at times it can be difficult to deal with.

I'm going to share my outlook on my situation to you (perhaps it would offer some insight?). In the end, I can't force people to be friends with me. I'll have jokes, be funny, but I'll never be desperate. I've found that when I accept loneliness as it is and accept the situation, it gets better for me - I work on improving myself, and my school work, instead of wishing for what isn't right now. I also tend to make friends when I get to that point (I believe it's because as I accept it, I become less self-consious and more like myself without the pressure). I'll appreciate whatever social interaction I get, which makes me value socialising a whole lot more.

The thing is, I know there's nothing really wrong with my social skills - I'm like you - I'm seen like an outcast. Each time I've been to an external uni course/camp/volunteering/outside school activities, I've made friends with the loudest and funnest group of them there. We have the best time together and I'm very devoted and kind, and help people out a lot. I have internet friends and I also have two or three friends from outside of school that I meet every month or so. (one from the camp, one from the thread & someone's who's homeschooled that i got to know through ig)

I also have an amazing group of friends on the year 11 thread from here - I highly recommend joining the thread for your year and joining their skype group (if they have one). That means I get to talk and they're always there, it makes it a whole load better.

When it gets lonely, I remember there's hotlines out there, or I try to do my work. For you it's only two years, and they will go fast if you use them to focus on things like your school work & perhaps outside of school activities. For me, I fill mine up with activities on 7cups, volunteering etc. which also builds my CV. Thinking about your future and your goals helps a lot, and gives you focus in your time. I also recommend doing volunteering/sport ouside of school so you get some socialising and hopefully friends there too :smile:

Chin up there's many of us in your situation :smile:

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Know how you feel. Had same problem as you, now I'm in Year 13 and have literally spent every break lunch and free in the library alone. Upside is that I get all work done at college, some I'm pretty much completely free outside of college.

Reply 6

PurpleDelight

Oh gosh I know this feeling.

If you just keep approaching and talking to people you'd like to be friends with (not stalkerish though), they'll eventually make you more comfortable and be friends with you. Perseverance is key

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 7

TheYearNiner

Original post by Magic Streets

Raise the issue with your head of sixth form.

Don't do this OP, there is no need. I had no friends in September because it was a new school but I found a couple of groups and joined them so I now have loads of friends. You still have time just chat to people and join groups.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #3

I'm in exactly the same position as you are right now. Year 12 - sixth form - no friends. I know how you feel...

Reply 9

username1441610

I'm in a similar situation as you. Although, I have met a few people in the sixth form I go to, I tend to stay by my self all the time to focus on work because I don't really fit in you see. However, too much isolation is quit bad for you as we need to socialize once in a while. I tend to compare my self to my friends and others that go to other sixth forms and think that I'll end up doing bad in my A-Levels and I would ruminate a lot. What I do is just suck it up till Sixth Form finishes because time will fly quick during college years. Maybe occupy your self with things like reading books or something?

Reply 10

Magic Streets

Original post by J-ved

Isolation is a definite no-no. It only gets harder at university, even at the elite ones. You need social skills to survive in education, and at work.

Reply 11

username1441610

Original post by Magic Streets

Isolation is a definite no-no. It only gets harder at university, even at the elite ones. You need social skills to survive in education, and at work.

Don't get me wrong, I would definitely socialize in university. Right now, I just think right now there isn't any point on being or keeping friends from sixth form as its only 2 years? I'd rather take in the pain right now and reap the benefits afterwards? But I do agree that isolation is quite unhealthy if you don't socialize one bit.

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Reply 12

Anonymous #4

After having to move to a completely new area of the country for my A Levels, and not wanting to, I was left in exactly the same position as you! I am now in year 13 and I am still experiencing the same thing. Luckily I did start to make two new friends in college towards the final few months of year 12 but then they left (to move to other colleges or start university), leaving me completely on my own this year. It is really hard because the same people sit at the same tables every day in large groups and not many people seem to mix at college.

Even though I am on my own most of the time in college, I feel relatively confident about making new friends in the future. In the summer after year 12 I went on a residential summer school and made friends very easily and I'm hoping it'll be similar when I start university. I still keep in very close contact with most of my old friends, but it is very difficult as they all go to my old school sixth form together, which felt really tough at the start of year 12 as I felt very left out. I have joined the Student Leadership Team at college which has really helped because although I've not made any friends that I sit with at lunch with or anything, I am friendly with all the other members and at least gives me people to talk to during some lunches.

The best advice I can give is just keep trying, join any extra-curricular activities you are interested in and mostly I've found in the last year and a half that you can become friends with someone when you least expect it! I agree the lonliness can be awful! Thank you for starting this thread as it is really helpful for everyone in this position to know they are not alone! I wish the absolute best of luck to you and anyone else on this thread in the same position.

Reply 13

PandasAreCuteAF

I was in a similar position last year, I had started a new sixth from in Year 12 and on the first day we were told to sit in the hall. Me being new, very awkwardly went to a teacher and was like idk where to go and i have no friends, so she went up to this random table and was like 'she has no friends be nice and be her friend'. So i tried to go round with this group for a bit, it felt like months, but it was probably like a few weeks, they obviously didn't want me there as they never talked to me or met me at break so I just kinda stood there at breaks on my own. Im in Year 13 now and have a nice group of friends, but still feel a little awkward, i think it just comes along with being in a new school, like most people already knew each other, but there are many other externals who are in the same position.
You should do what I did, any time during supervisions i kinda turned to someone in one of my classes and was like 'hey you're in my .... class aren't you' then proceed to ask them a question, id end up sitting with them and talking to them about the class then random topics. From there id start to go round with some people from my classes, its definitely easier. Its easy to pretend you're asking about the class then try build the conversation from there.
It will be difficult as its a new school, but it will get better you should definitely stick to it, if its not for you, you could always move at the end of Year 12 but at least give it a go!
A Levels are very stressful too, I swear every week i have like a mini breakdown over it, but i persevere!
Good luck, I hope everything works out ok :smile:

Reply 14

SilverWater

Original post by J-ved

At uni I think socially everything will be much better as everyones in the same boat and would then be more open to make friends , go out etc. Where as in sixth form if you an external it is quite a bit of graft to jump in a group when they have already been set in years before.

Reply 15

username1495504

This happened to me and it seriously messed with my head. I know exactly how you feel.
I moved house to a new area so had to go to a different sixth form to my secondary school. I was miles away from my friends and only clicked with one or two people at my new sixth form. They were like a different culture, very unfriendly and unwelcoming towards new people. I was so unhappy and now hate the area.

My advice would be to get through year 12 and then leave to go elsewhere for year 13. Chances are you grades won't be to your full potential because you're in such an unhappy place like I was, so you may even be better off leaving to go to another place to do year 12 again for better grades.

Reply 16

Anonymous #5

I'm in y13 and in the same position as u 😔 I know many people and have many friends but not any best friends!!! 😭

Reply 17

AdoptDontShop

Raise it with the head of sixth form. There's a girl in a similar situation in our sixth form. She raised it with the head of sixth form, who had a private word with the head girl (one of my best friends) about it, and she agreed to invite her to sit with us. We made her feel as welcome as we could and she's now fully integrated in our group and much happier :biggrin:

Long story short, there are friends out there for you, you just might need a little bit of help in finding them. It's always worth talking to someone if you're feeling down. Good luck!

Reply 18

Anonymous #5

Original post by AdoptDontShop

Long story short, there are friends out there for you, you just might need a little bit of help in finding them. It's always worth talking to someone if you're feeling down. Good luck!